Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The good life...

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So often I (read: everyone who blogs) complain about life and how poorly things are going. I bitch about work and personal life and this and that so much that I often neglect to mention all the things I have going for me. Reality is, despite it all, life ain’t really all that bad.

Well, none of that today. This post is all about the good things and the positive in life.


The Job:

Very few people can truly be 100% content with what they do for a living. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. But, I can say that I’m in a very pleasant situation. I live about 15 minutes from where I work, which is a plus. I work with really good people. There’s very little drama in my office. Everyone has their little annoying nuances, but I can’t really complain too much. It gives them character. We get little bonuses like free Nike stuff and gift cards and even actual bonuses on occasion. This place is flexible. I never have to worry about asking for time off or needing to come in late. I just shoot my boss an email and she’s fine with that. Most of all, we do good work that affects people who need it most. That’s somewhat fulfilling.

I’m also fortunate to work around tremendous leaders. The President/CEO, who is a former major leaguer and a recent baseball HOF inductee, is a stand-up, down-to-earth guy. He’s very cerebral and methodical and is a joy to be around. The CFO of my company can go from discussing for-profit finance principles to meeting with my non-profit to discuss resource development and federal funding reporting strategies without skipping a beat. I’m literarily awed by my executive director. His management style took some getting used to, but his incredible stewardship is undeniable. Each entity has capable leaders and great role models and potential mentors.


I’m in good health. I’ve never been bitten by any bugs and with my past, that’s saying a lot. I’m kidding. I’m fortunate to have been born with all my senses and extremities. Could I stand to lose 20 pounds or so? Sure. At least I’m not ugly.


I’m not rich, I’m not poor. I’d probably do a better job holding onto money if I stop spending so much on miscellaneous bullshit. I do, however, invest in the stock market and own a 401(k), which is more than most people my age can say. So...I can't really complain too much.

Personal Life:

They may not be strong in numbers, but I have really tremendous friends who are incredibly loyal and trusting. I can’t stress that enough. I’m fortunate to have good people who love and care for and respect me no matter what. That means a lot to me. I’m also fortunate to have been placed in situations that have allowed me to determine who deserves the title of friend and who should simply be reduced to a common associate, if that. My family is what it is. We aren’t the Brady Bunch, but we aren’t some of the crazy bitches you see on Springer either. Very middle of the road.


I'm not a dick, which is a good thing. I'm social and likable and typically mesh well with most people. I'm not a recluse and I'm comfortable in my own skin. That's a plus.


Ok...I’m tired of writing now and I'm sure you're done with reading. Besides, too much positivity in one day turns my stomach.

Now it's your turn.

Think long and hard about this. What do you have going for you? I want answers, too. Everyone has something to feel good about.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Hate him or love him, he speaking the truth....

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I already know I'm gonna catch some flack for this one.

The following quote has become one of my favorites and also one of the most telling regrading my opinion of America proliferating democracy.
"America needs to keep her mouth shut wherever there is a corrupt regime as much hell as America has raised on the earth."

- Min. Louis Farrakhan
You might consider his message divisive and his words hateful. You may call him racist, homophobic and antisemitic. You may disagree with much of what he says.

Say what you will about Louis Farrakhan (and please don't take this post as an endorsement or any statement on my part other than that of the prima facie variety) but I can't really find any fault in what he's to Mike Wallace.

America needs to shut her mouth and wash her bloody hands.


What are your thoughts on the environment?

I make a conscious effort to do my part in protecting the environment. I recycle at home and at the office, I walk or bike instead of driving to destinations when it's feasible, I refuse to litter and I don't tolerate litterbugs in my circle, I try not to idle car engines, etc. I do my part.

I'm no fool though. I realise (note the random British spelling) that not everyone feels compelled to do many of the things I do to protect the environment, if any. Some people could really give two donkey shits about mother nature.

I was talking to a blogger at the BFR about this very topic and we clearly were on opposite sides of the spectrum. He said something to the effect of:
"I know I'm not having kids, which means I'm not having grandkids which means I don't need to give a shit about the environment. I'm gonna drive around in an Escalade...wearing a fur. Fuck a carbon footprint."
Although I'm sure he's more than willing to out himself, I refuse put him on blast, so don't even ask.

My question is this: How do you feel about the environment? Global warming? Climate change? Do you care about reducing your carbon footprint? How much do you care about doing your part to reduce human impact on the Earth?

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Hoe That Won't Die

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You know what I can appreciate about Senator Clinton? That bitch is a fighter.

Hillary has made it quite clear that John Q. Democratic-Voter and party elders alike can suck her big toe; this hoe ain't rolling over for nobody. She didn't die after Texas and Ohio and she's still alive going into North Carolina and Illinois. She's been hanging on for months and now she's issuing challenges and shit.

She already practically told Barack to meet her in a dark alley in Cincinatti. Now she wants to go toe-to-toe with him on a stage, no moderator, Lincoln-Douglas I used to do in high school.

Because I know how busy (read: incredibly lazy) you all are, I've summed it up really nicely for you.


Hillary: Yeah, Barack. I don't die. You thought you'd get rid of my ass by now, huh? You got me fucked up. I'm a Clinton, bitch!

Barack: **yawn**

Hillary: You know what, Barack? I'm sick of your rhetoric and charismatic bullshit. You wouldn't meet me outside in Cincy, so meet me on a stage. L-D style, hoe. That's right. I'm challenging you to a debate.

I'm not wasting my time on you. I'm busy talking to voters on the ground. Step your outreach game up.

Hillary: You scuuuured, Barack? Don't be scuuuured.

Barack: I ain't scared, you silly hoe. I'm busy. I'm a presidential candidate and a fucking U.S. Senator. Save your games for Milton Bradley.

Fox News' Chris Wallace: Why you ducking her out then? Huh? You always ducking her. Fuck's up with that, Barack?

I'm not ducking shit, Chris. We've had 21 debates. Like Jigga said...what more can I say? Besides, I've got better shit to do than play footsies with this bitch. Like talk to voters...and loosen Michelle's tight ass.

He's a pussy, Chris. He knows I'm better at this. I lap his elitist ass in debate.

Barack (to Chris Wallace):
You see what happens when you try to go from under the president's desk to sitting at it? Get this bitch out my face.

Hillary: He's just mad that I'm on his crusty ass heels. Voters liking me now. I'm the queen bitch of blue collar America. Pittsburg. Cleveland. Buffalo. Youngstown. Detroit. I got the rust belt on lock, son. I want a series of debates.

(turns to Barack)

That's what the fuck I want, a fucking debate, Barack. Not a gun fight up in Harlem. Why you running scared for? Why you ducking me and shit?

Barack: I said no, bitch.

Hillary: I'ma call you from a 212 or a 202 number at 3am, Barack. You better answer the goddamn phone, too.


Anyway, I'm through cuttin' up with you hoes. I gotta get ready. Option C is still in the picture and is on his way over. He's staying here tonight. We're gonna play house.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Did he or didn't he?

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Truths: #4, 7, 9, 10, 16, 17, 24, 25

Untruths I haven't done yet,
but would in a heartbeat:
2, 3, 5, 6, 12, 14!!!!, 19, 20, 23

I'm stealing this concept directly from the pages of La Bella Vita. I just want to get that clear from jump. I'm not nearly inventive enough to thinking this far outside the blogger box.

Below is a list of 25 things I may or may not have done in the month of April. It's your job to tell me what's truth and what's nothing more than a farce. In a couple of days (or until I'm no longer entertained by your trying to figure it out), I'll post an update with the correct answers.

I really want to see how naughty you hoes think I am. Have fun!


1 - Hosted a threesome.

2 - Feigned illness to go to Bulle Rock.

3 - Got ANOTHER tattoo.

4 - Cursed a cabbie in downtown Baltimore.

5 - Got kicked out of a bar for lewd and unruly behavior.

6 - Masturbated in a public park.

7 - Went on the worst date in my life.

8 - Had pretty good sex with a really cute girl.

9 - Kissed a blogger.

10 - Naturally cleansed my colon.

11 - Took ecstasy for the first time.

12 - Fed a hangover with more alcohol.

13 - Went to catholic mass and visited a Jewish synagogue on the same day.

14 - Had sex on the roof of an apartment building in midtown.

15 - Found the perfect apartment building.

16 - Volunteered at the Maryland Food Bank and prepared dinner for and served a group of homeless folk.

17 - Celebrated 4/20 on a pier overlooking the Baltimore skyline with two really fantastic people.

18 - Went to church directly from the club...tipsy and all.

19 - Had sex with an EX.

20 - Randomly hooked up with a club goer in Seattle.

21 - Celebrated a birthday.

22 - Went skinny dipping in the Atlantic.

23 - Ran a 5K.

24 - Fell off of a bike.

25 - Masturbated at the office.

Foxy's Home!

Consider this a head's up to manicurists and uniformed services staff everywhere: Foxy Brown is fresh out of jail after a 8-month bid and could be coming to a nail shop or 2-star hotel near you.

It seems like forever ago (read: September 2006) she was arrested and subsequently charged with assaulting two nail-salon workers after refusing to pay a $20 fee. Damn, Fox. $20 though?! I guess you really did need The Fever to do well, huh?

Foxy's quick tempered ass was due for some time away though. A sabbatical, if you will. She’s had more run-ins with the law than a little bit. I did a little research and found that she has a rap sheet longer than both of my arms:
In January 1997, Brown received a 30-day suspended sentence and an order to perform 80 hours of community service. She had turned herself in on an arrest warrant for missing a court appearance for spitting on two hotel workers in Raleigh, N.C., when they told her they didn't have an iron available.

In March 2000, Brown crashed her Range Rover in Brooklyn, N.Y. Her injuries were minor but police arrested her for driving while her license had been suspended for not paying two parking tickets.

In July 2003, Brown was arrested in Kingston, Jamaica, for an altercation with a policewoman at Norman Manley International Airport. When Brown missed a court appearance two days later, Jamaican authorities announced she would be arrested if she returned to the island.

In August 2004, Brown allegedly attacked two manicurists in Manhattan, N.Y., during a dispute over a $20 fee that she refused to pay. She was not charged for the incident until March 7, 2005. She has denied the charges and rejected misdemeanor plea deals on May 6 and Aug. 9, 2005.

On Oct. 25, 2006, Brown was sentenced to three years' probation and anger management counseling; orders of protection were authorized for the manicurists.

On Dec. 23, 2005, Brown was handcuffed in a Manhattan, N.Y., courtroom after an exchange with a judge. Brown was in court to finalize a plea deal stemming from the August 2004 incident.

Anyway, this bitch is home and running amuck in Brooklyn. Please get into this YouTube video (and the circa 1997 animal print pieces she's still clinging to). It’s hilarious how chicks do a bid on Ricker’s Island and come back home trying to sound all collegiate and shit.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

If you feelin' it Barack, man go and brush you shoulders off.

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LOL @ Barack getting a little gangsta on 'em. Barack said...can I talk to my people, maaaan? I just need a minute of your time, baby.

And they say he's out of touch. Get mad, Hillary!


Monday, April 21, 2008

Thanks and such...

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Edit: It's really unfortunate that we even have to address this, particularly after the wonderful weekend we just had, but there’s one in every family. You know, bad apple that takes advantage and then tries to ruin things for the others. The best thing to do is just to accept this and move on. I do hope that none of you are allowing this spoiled fruit to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

We all must understand that some people who lack respect for themselves often react emotionally and with reckless abandon when they realize they haven't fooled anyone and that their peers know exactly who and what they really are. They have no problem embarrassing themselves by resorting to slander, name calling and other juvenile antics to deflect attention from their classless and less-than-flattering behavior.

On one hand you pity them. I mean, imagine how low it must feel to know that people’s lasting impression is not a pleasant one. Imagine how you would feel knowing that your reputation is that of a leech -– a tacky leech –- who gets by simply by preying on people’s charity, humanity and sponsorship. On the other hand, well, there really is no other hand. We should simply bank this incident in our memory and be sure the post office loses an invitation to events in the future.

I want each of you to turn this black mark into a positive and a learning experience. As you go through life you should know that sometimes this happens. Out of the kindness of your heart, you sponsor (read: completely provide for) supposed grown people for an entire weekend, they take advantage of your kindness and slander you. It doesn’t matter if you provide food or drink or shelter or fond memories (or all of the above) with no expectation of anything in return, you are sometimes re-paid not with a ‘thank you’, but with attitude, laughable personal attacks, miscellaneous tomfoolery and lies about things they only experienced second-hand because they didn't come prepared with their own resources in the first place.

Whatever you do, please DO NOT allow these people to steal your humanity and sense of decency. Continue to help the feeble and less fortunate no matter how ungrateful they prove to be. Continue to show these people respect you would want if you were on the shitty end of life's stick.
Just because you have a nightmare doesn't mean you should stop dreaming.

I want to thank you all for taking the high road and not exacerbating this situation by proliferating silly comments and such. I’m so glad that each of you realizes that because we set the standard for successful blogger meet-ups around the country, everything we do is scrutinized and editorialized by others. Let us not make a scene or give our critics any ammunition with which they can attack us.

The best way to deal with these types of annoyances is to not even respond. They typically fade along with their 15 seconds.


To say that our first Blogger Family Reunion was a success would be the understatement of the year. As the host, I never in my wildest wet dreams imagined that this thing could or even would go over so smoothly. I really want to thank you all for that. You bitches were really, really, really fun. From Annie’s in Dupont to cocktails and breakfast in the suite to lunch at Outback, I truly had an absolute blast.

I’d want to thank Cocoa and Darius for all of their hard work in planning and preparing for this event. I’m typically HORRIFIED when things don’t go as planned, but in this instance, I really don’t think we could have planned this as well as it actually turned out. I really appreciate the conference calls and the twice checked lists. It was fun.

But because I enjoyed each of you, I want to individually shout you all out.

Joey - Young. Bahamian. Intellectual. Socialite. Until we met this weekend that self-proclaimed description was the only impression I had of you. Well, that and the expired visa people kept referencing. I had no idea you’d be as awesome as you are. Thanks for suggesting MoMo’s and Annie’s. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.

Cocoa – We knew each other through telephone conversation, yet didn’t really know each other because we hadn’t met in person before, but interacted as if we’d been great friends for years. Thanks for all your help in prepping for this. We’ll have to do something soon in New York. Not the Bronx though. Mr. Jones doesn’t do borough. ;-)

Fuzzy – We text and chat, but you’re even better in person. You’re bubbly and funny and can throw down in a kitchen with two pans and an electric griddle. Those potatoes were the shit. We have to get up the next time I’m in Jersey. I missed your call last night because I was knocked out, but we’ll talk real soon.

Shawn – I already told you that I think you’re a sweetheart. I see why Fuzzy keeps you around. LOL. Seriously though, I really appreciate our little sidebars and conversations. I’ll wait to hear back. I know that when I get up with Daniel when I’m in New Jersey next, you’ll be right by his side, so I’ll see you then. :-0

Ty – Yet another fantastic New Jerseyan that made the trip. I admitted to rarely having read your blog, but your personality, wit, charm and overall demeanor gave me reason to start. You were really a joy to be around.

Promiscuous X – I’m really glad that your outlook on the weekend changed a little cus I was none too happy with that negative ass call you made as we were walking to MoMo’s. You got your drink and your “up north” music (as if you were in Mobile, AL or something) just like you wanted. I know these thirsty bitches are just waiting for me to say something else, but that’s what text is for.

Nia – We already discussed this, but thanks so much for your support. It meant a lot…seriously. I’m glad everyone had the opportunity to see why I consider you a friend.

E – I want you to say more next time. I’m kidding. Seriously though, thanks so much for traveling from Chicago (not Atlanta, right…lol). It was great to have you there.

Darius – Another Chicagoan who made the trip. I’ve already thanked you for your prepping/planning help, but I’m thanking you again. I’m so glad I got to see your lighter side during dinner/breakfast at Annie’s. You’re full of surprises.

That Dude Right There – I already knew your crazy ass, but I’m glad everyone else had the opportunity to see how entertaining you are. Thanks so much for coming up. Don’t forget that I’m in Atlanta next month. I hope you’re in town.

Jared – You’re too funny. That head shake and that little shimmy you do is so hilarious. On the low, I got into to you as much as you got into me...hunny. LOL.

Anyway, 2008 was a blast, but 2009 in San Juan is gonna be even better. I want to see each of you there, plus the ones who didn't make it to Baltimore.

Please start saving your coin now. For your own good, start saving your coin now.

I have no idea where I was for this shot.
Shawn looks tossed the fuck up.

TDRT, Cocoa Rican and Me looking at something.

E looking all sly. He was probably up to something.

Darius throwing more shade than an oak in July. LOL.

Shawn and X.
Notice that Shawn is still sober, but not for long.

After a several of these....

Shawn is no longer sober.

I don't know what I was talking about, but
Cocoa and TDRT were listening intently.

Drinking free shots and talking shit.

Yeah, son. Word.

Cocoa and Norris drunk as hell.

Fuzzy and Shawn.
Shawn's fucked up...again. LOL.

Yeah, son. I'm too cool to sit at the other table, son.
Jersey, holla!

Jared and Joey. They are just too sweet!

Shawn and Darius at the suite.
Shawn may or may not be drunk. LOL.

Drunk, drunk, drunk and drunk.

Believe it or not, this lady was outshined by another one at
the table across from us. Only in Dupont Circle.

Shout out to Ty Aspire for taking the pics.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Today's the Day!

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

This shit makes me want to vomit all over the parents, then slap the fuck out of them.

Thursday, April 17, 2008 7
I don't often get outraged by what I see on the news, but this is really disgusting. I'm personally offended by this story.

You may or may not have heard about this by now, but an 18-year-old man and his 16-year-old girlfriend recently forced their 18-month-old toddler to smoke weed from a pipe. These dumb asses would have gotten away with it too if they hadn't pawned the video camera used to record this mess without deleting the damn footage.

This is the kicker though. The 18-year-old is in jail now. Police raided his home and found $4 million dollars in cash, dozens of firearms and 2,000 pounds of weed. You've got all that but you needed to pawn a camcorder. I hope this dumb fuck gets the book thrown at him.

And you all know my girl Nancy was all over this. The clip of the little girl being forced to smoke is actually apart of Nancy's coverage. I'll warn you though, if you have an ounce of humanity in your body, it's really tough to watch.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Meet Alex Stepheson

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First, and let me be crystal clear here, this is the first, only and final time that the University of North Carolina or any of its auxiliaries will EVER get any play or mention on this blog. As a full-blooded Terp, I learned my ABC's at a very early age and fully understand and appreciate the "Anybody But Carolina" concept as it relates to, well, everything in life. I felt, though that this little tidbit was compelling enough to share.

Meet Alex Stepheson, UNC's sophomore forward reserve who happens to be gay. His being gay and playing sports isn't what's noteworthy or compelling about his story as tons of gay guys play sports. Hell, there's even an entire international federation dedicated exclusively to putting on the Gay Games every four years. What's interesting and admirable about his story is that the kid is openly gay and apparently doesn't really care if people know he likes boys.

Now, before you start thinking I'm some crazy stalking Stan I should mention that I found these images on TSR, a Maryland sports message board I've frequented for years. Apparently they come from his MySpace and Facebook pages. I didn't include them all, but you'll get the the after seeing the first few.

There was a thread asking if Maryland fans would accept an openly gay athlete aside from the overly obvious lesbos on the field hockey and women's basketball teams. The general consensus was an overwhelming "I really wouldn't give a shit". I'd obviously applaud any openly gay male athlete at my alma mater or anywhere else for that matter. I'm sure he could bang in the post and probably has a smooth follow through on his shooting stroke.

You know I had to slide at least one juvie joke in.

This is just another example that all the media controversy over how a major sports team would handle a gay teammate is ridiculous.

Monday, April 14, 2008

People Poll Question of the Day

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You meet someone and after a couple of weeks of an occasional happy hour and daily telephone conversations/text messages, you two seem to really be hitting it off. It's at the point that you're kinda digging them and they seem to be and say they are digging you.

The inevitable sex conversation comes up. You two basically concede that the first chance you two are alone, you're getting the business. And just to be clear, you really, REALLY want the business from this person.

After about a week though, this person drops quite the bombshell. You find out that not only is this person not single, but they have been in a not-so-committed relationship of two years with someone they (against their better judgment) planned to marry and have kids with one day.

Admittedly stunned and somewhat staggered by their honesty, you begin an inquisition. Through a line of questioning you find that this former U.S. solider admits to having cheated in the past, but that despite (or maybe in spite of) those transgressions, their relationship with the significant other is doing relatively well. When asked how many times in the past they've transgressed, you find out they are relatively new to "the game" and have been in a similar predicament twice.

Given that information would you:
  • A - Totally cut the person off and end any chance of anything happening between you two.

  • B - Proceed cautiously and refuse to get emotionally involved.

  • C - Lil Kim that ass by saying fuck it and getting yours!
At this point, I'm leaning toward option C. What say you?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Nancy Grace Is A Bitch

Saturday, April 12, 2008 8

I ♥ Berger Cookies

New York City has its bland black and white cookie. Baltimore has the Berger Cookie, the best sweet known to man. You may think I'm being extra by saying this, but the elation induced by a Berger Cookie is bested only by a really good orgasm. It's a slice of heaven in the form of a pastry. If you've never had one, then you're missing out.

Describing the taste is tough. Imagine the softest sugar cookie you've ever had in your life topped with a giant dollop of the sweet, rich fudge. It really approaches star status.

I just got finished eating one box.

Here in Maryland they're sold at 7-11 and Royal Farms or any other convenience store chain in the area. Outside the Baltimore area, you can and should buy several dozen via their website.

Don't say I never told you anything worthwhile.

Friday, April 11, 2008

T.G.I. (Fucking) F.

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I don't know about you, but I haven't anticipated a weekend like I've anticipated this one in quite some time.

I'm happy that it's Friday because, well, it's the start of the weekend, but today is a good one for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, my black ass can finally get some rest after being worked this week at the office like a 6 year-old in a Nike sweatshop in the Guangdong province of China. That's reason enough to celebrate.

I'm also happy it's Friday because today marked the day that I can finally come off those damn steroid pills I've been taken since this little incident. This couldn't have come at a better time because I was starting to blow up like a goddamn blimp. I gained damn near 10 pounds since I've been on those things. I asked Jeeves and he says it's just water retention and that it comes off soon after I discontinue using the drugs.

Just don't stick a pin in my fat ass when you hoes see me next week.

Speaking of a next week, I'm also happy that it's Friday because that means we're getting up next week. I'm really excited to get that going.

If you missed my post that included the itenirary for that weekend, click here to take a look at it. Please remember to stop at a spirit shop (read: liquor store) before you come to the Homewood Suites Friday evening/night. That's be your ticket in the door. I'm just kidding...kinda.

We've had a few people who for a number of reasons decided they can't make it, but we'll still have a blast. Hopefully they'll be able to make it next year.

Enough about the bitches who'll be missing out though. I'm really excited to see everyone who will be in attendance. The final attendee list includes:
If I don't communicate with you on a regular basis via telephone, email, smoke signal, etc. and if you aren't arriving with someone who communicates with me on a regular basis, then before Friday please email me so I can get your cell number. This is very important because without it, I'll have no way of telling you in which room we'll be for the cocktail reception and official meet and greet. And without my being able to tell you which room we'll be in, you'll have no way of grabbing yourself a cock or a tail. I'm kidding...kinda. No, I really am kidding though. It should be a great time had by all.

Anyway, I hate to be abrupt, but it's 6:15 on a Friday afternoon and I'm one of the last few people still at the office. I'm getting the hell out of here.

Remember your liquor and to email me if you need to.

Enjoy yourselves this weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

R. Kelly and Da Brat: D-Listers Gone Horribly Awry

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I've decided...

Thursday, April 10, 2008 11

I wanna go back, like, right now. No, really...I wanna leave the office, hop a flight and grab a drink. It's 10am here, but it's happy hour somewhere!!!

Who's coming with me?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Just a reminder...she's 42

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I ain't too cool with a woman being 40+ and still taking ass shots for trashy ass KING Magazine, but when you're 42 and still giving 20-somethings a run for their money, who am I to judge?

Jeeze, Lighten The Fuck Up

Just now at the coffee machine...

Me: Yeah, shouldn't be drinking much coffee. I've been weening myself off of steroids for the past 10 days. I was juicing all last week. That's what I'm telling people at least. Its my claim to fame.

Uptight co-worker: Why would you want to be known publicly as a cheater? That's what's wrong with baseball.

Me: Oh, no. [chuckle, chuckle] I'm not on HGH or anything, just Prenesone. I got a perscription from my doctor. The same guy bonds uses. [chuckle]

Uptight co-worker: I don't care. That's what's wrong with baseball.

Me: **shakes head and cuts eyes**

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Kissing Toads

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 16

I’ve never been one to enjoy the whole dating process. In fact, I hate it. But unless I want to be a lonely bastard for the rest of my life, I've got to do it.

My immediate past ex ruined it for me, but at least there was that sense of familiarity. We may have bickered about where to go or what to do, but at the end of the night, I knew I was getting a meal and a moderately good lay. Not necessarily in that order, but I knew it was coming.

For the last month or so, I’ve been making a concerted effort to meet people. It’s been what feels like ages since I’ve had to keep up with this many names and stories and facts and faces. It’s only like four guys, but still, this is quite the process.

I’m lining up prospects. I’m talking on the telephone. You know, separating the wheat from the chaff. Then you’ve got to secure the date, find a place to go to, talk, and deal with the awkwardness of appropriately ending the 1st (or 2nd or 3rd) date.

I’m exhausted!

What really sucks is that it always seems that by the time I finally get to know/get comfortable with someone; it’s time to do it all over again because for whatever reason things just didn’t work out.

Rinse and repeat, I guess.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Just give it up, Hillary.

Monday, April 7, 2008 5

I'm touching my temples and channeling Negrodomous today.

In 20 years someone will show this photograph to Sen. Hillary Clinton and she will recall a story of grave peril and tremendous heroism. She’ll tell a tale involving a blinding light show used by foreign military operatives to reduce secret service visibility or a potentially compromised microphone that looked eerily similar to the model she heard short circuits a lot or the broach she decided against wearing that could have for a number of creative reasons posed limitless danger.

Someone will check her on it, she’ll claim to have misspoke, but will remind us all that the danger is always very real. That broach she decided against probably gives her the experience she needs to answer the phone at 3am, after all.

If you haven’t heard by now, Hillary has been called out on the stump -- again.

Over the last five weeks, Hillary has featured in her campaign stump speeches the story of a health care horror: an uninsured pregnant woman who lost her baby and died herself after being denied care by an Ohio hospital because she could not come up with a $100 fee.

Very gut-wrenching.

This little snippet comes from this Washington Post article (emphasis added):
It almost always comes when the audience least expects it: the moment Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton brings a roaring crowd to a hush with a heart-rending anecdote.

"I remember listening to a story about a young woman in a small town along the Ohio River, in Meigs County, who worked in a pizza parlor," the Democratic presidential candidate said during a stop in Cleveland, beginning a particularly grim tale.

"She got pregnant, she started having problems. There's no hospital left in Meigs County, so she had to go to a neighboring county. She showed up, and the hospital said, 'You know, you've got to give us $100 before we can see you.' She didn't have $100," Clinton said.

"So the young woman went back home," she continued. "The next time she went back, she was in an ambulance. It turned out she lost the baby. She was airlifted to Columbus."

She paused before concluding: "And after heroic efforts at the medical center, she died." The audience, as always, gasped.
Who wouldn’t support her universal health care plan after hearing something like that, right?

There’s one small problem though. Hospital administrators said the woman featured in the speech was actually under the care of an OB-GYN practice affiliated with the hospital, that she was never refused treatment and that she was, in fact, insured.

Damn, Hill. First Sinbad calls you out, now hospital administrators. Can’t catch a break, can you?

Campaign officials claimed that unlike the Bosnia slip-up, their candidate didn’t misspeak this time -- they just forgot to verify the story. That makes it all better, I guess.

I wouldn’t be so damn snarky if this didn't happen so much. Oh, you thought this was a one time thing?

Nah…I’ve been keeping score for a minute.

Hill's Truths and Lies

Lie – First Daughter Chelsea was jogging around the Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
Truth - She was in bed watching it on TV.

Lie - Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the brave and pioneering man who first climbed Mt. Everest.
Truth – This guy climbed Mt. Everest five years after she was born.

Lie - She was under grave danger and sniper fire in Bosnia.
Truth - A little girl read a poem and presented her with flowers when as her and Chelsea leisurely got off the plane.

I would add this little health care fib to the tally, but she didn't lie this time. She just didn't fact check.

In other Hillary news...

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Only twelve days more. Are you excited?

Sunday, April 6, 2008 9
The Howard Street bridge

The Abell Building

The Inner Harbor from Federal Hill

Looking down from atop the Washington Monument

Pratt Street

The City

Landmark Theater

BP in Canton

Station North Arts District


The Block

The City at Night

Charles and Lombard

Howard Street

BoA, Schaeffer, Wachovia

Baltimore and Charles

The Hard Rock Guitar

Penn Station sign marker

Club Choices...Yikes!

Midtown looking south

Shelia's a mess.

Shelia Dixon

A really red tree.

Ram's Head @ Power Plant Live

Natty Boh in Brewer's Hill

Nipper, the RCA Dog @ the City Life Museum

Top of the monument

The Wire

Statues at Mt. Vernon Square


Inside The Charles

Domino Sugar factory

Pennsylvania Station

Bars in Fells Point

Poe in snow near UB

The city in black and white

A white girl on a bench.

Black boys shooting hoops.

Edgar Allen Poe died here

Mt. Vernon Square

The O's


Props to all the Flickr photographers, btw.

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