Saturday, September 29, 2007

Maryland >>>>> Jersey

Saturday, September 29, 2007 5

Maryland Stuns No. 10 Rutgers, 34-24

I don't bet on college sports often. Only when stupid idiots talk shit about Maryland Football or Basketball. For some reason, dudes from Jersey think Rutgers is the new Florida or USC or something. I should say, dudes from Jersey bet like they think Rutgers is the new Florida or USC or something. Either way, the Terps just won me $350.

Fear the turtle, bitches.

Where is Perry Mason when you need him?

Much like YABG, my radar doesn't sound unless someone does something really blatant like...shove a tongue down my throat. So, I need your help. I've been dealing with situation for some time now. Let me know if you think I'm reading into things too much and how you think I should proceed.


So, two and a half weeks ago I received a call from my boy Riley Newell (He's black...I can't explain the Irish name either) inviting me to a cocktail party at the Hippodrome Theater hosted by Baltimore Style, a regional magazine which dubs itself "a premier lifestyle publication, providing information for smart living in Baltimore." Apparently, the company he works for bought a sponsorship and he scooped the last pair of tickets.

I guess I should explain who Riley is.

He's originally from New York - born in Mt. Vernon, raised in New Rochelle, college in Rochester, worked in Yonkers. He's young - 25. He's well-educated - did his undergrad work at RIT and his graduate work in architecture at Carnegie Mellon. He's accomplished - works as a project manager for SBER, a multi-state, Baltimore-based development firm. He's attractive and athletic - when I saw him the first thing I thought was "Omg, he looks like Adriano Ribeiro" (if you don't follow European soccer, Google Images him). And he's single and as straight as straight can be (as far as I know).

We met randomly this past January at my company's annual gala. He approached me asking about one of our silent auction packages. Then, we started talking about what the Foundation does, who we help, what he does, etc., etc. Then, we did the business card exchange thing. You never think you'll actually hear back from people you do the business card exchange thing with, but he actually hit me up asking me inviting me out to drinks with him and his friends.

We've been pretty cool since then, not tight, but cool.

Anyway, we talked about my situation once and didn't flinch. We've never really talked about it since then, but he occasionally asks if I'm seeing anyone, but he leaves it at that.

I feel like ever since then, I feel like he's been dropping little ambigious hints. Nothing major, just some things that make me go, hmmm.

For instance, in the middle of conversations he'll say, "You don't wanna see me, son. I'll punish you." Now, he doesn't just belt this out. These are always said in context, but I just feel like it has double meaning. I know that's a bad example, but whatever.

Anyway, last night takes the cake in hint-dropping.

He suggested that I drive to his spot (about 40 minutes away from the venue) before heading to the event. His car ('06 BMW 535xi) trumps mine, so I decided to do it.

After the event he - despite my telling him that I was fine and didn't have that much to drink - suggested that I crash at his place to avoid making the long trek the dark. (My thoughts/internal commentary are in red)


Riley: You might as well just stay here with me, man. It's dark, you're drunk as hell and home is a long way away. (Hmm...the highway is lighted, I'm not really that drunk and home is only a half hour away, but I'll play this game)

Me: I'm not drunk. Stop saying that already. You're the done one. You've been taking shots.

Riley: Don't hate on me cuz I can take back shots. (flag #1 - get into the word choice)

Me: (staggered) Whatever man.

Riley: But for real, you staying here. No blood on my hands.

Me: Dude, I'm tired. I wanna my bed. I'm going home.

Riley: My bed feels better than yours. (flag #2 - was this an invitation into his bed?)

Me: (deciding to pursue this) I bet it does. But yours is a little crowded for me.

Riley: You ain't getting in it with me, so why you care how crowded it is for? (well, apparently that was not a invitation into his bed. Secondly, no matter how smart some New Yorkers are, they always seem to end interrogative statements with 'for'?)

Me: (dagger!) True. I'm going home though, dude. I'll hit you up in the morning.


Feedback: Did I do the right thing by falling back or did miss the boat? Is he just playing coy for shits and giggles? Please let me know. Oh, and if I missed the boat, how can secure a seat for the next voyage?

Track of the Week: Hell Rell - You Know What It Is

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This fool is at it again...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 22

Bill O'Reilly, FOX News' poster boy and offender of anything and everything that is black (and democratic), is at it again. When he's not beefing with your favorite rapper (for background see: here, here, and here) or sexually harassing co-workers on the set, he's being a racist idiot.

On his XM radio show, O'Reilly mentioned his recent dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton at Sylvia's Resturant in Harlem. He "couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship." O'Reilly added: "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.' "

To make a long story short, Bill O'Reilly is surprised that blacks are civil, sophisticated and well-mannered. I guess he was expecting monkeys eating watermelon and swinging from chandeliers?

Here's a link to the entire audio clip.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Chris Crocker's Crazy Ass

Monday, September 24, 2007 10
Remember this insane bitch? Well, turns out, he's not just crazy. He's also schizophrenic and delusional.

I'm genuinely concerned.

This and That

Phone Sex

Eat My Corn Hole

Queen of Ghetto

Bitch, Please!

I Do Hold It Down For My Girls

Friday, September 21, 2007

Go home and sit down

Friday, September 21, 2007 11

When I met up with That Dude Right There in Baltimore a couple of weeks ago, I told him that I seem to encounter the wildest characters in my city.

I've got stories for the one about the super gay panhandler I stumbled upon leaving Little Italy last year. Or the dozens of trannies who sell themselves on a strip a few blocks north of my building. Or the random rent boys who boldly whore themselves just a few blocks south of my building.

Well, here's another one to add to that list.

The non-profit I work for hosted a wine tasting and live auction (if you're interested we netted over $100K from last night's four-hour event with minimal overhead - the wine, venue, and food and beverage were all in-kind. $1.2 million has been pledged by people attending tonight's donor reception celebrating the start of our newest community partnership - we've been busy).

On my drive home, I stopped the Sunoco across from Oriole Park in downtown Baltimore to get gas. I went in to pay and encountered two women - I use that term very'll see why in a bit.

Now, for context, I wouldn't charge these women with being crackheads... not yet at least. But both of them looked to be a blast away from the nearest methadone center.

Anyway, one woman - who's name I later learned is Tracy - was most vocal. After berating the attendant for charging her for the vanilla cigarillo wanted to purchase (some nerve, right?), the following exchange ensued:

Tracey: How you doing tonight?

Me: I'm fine, thank you.

Tracey: You know what? You look like you just coming from a play. You just coming from a play?

Me: I'm coming from a wine tasting.

Tracey: (in a bafflingly snooty tone)

Me: (pause - turns to pay the attendant for my gas)

Me: (enduring her damn stare burning a damn hole in my back)

Tracey: You cute though. You married?

Other woman: Tracey!

Tracey: Girl, what? I'm just talking to the man.

Me: (finished paying and done with her) Enjoy your evening ladies.

Tracey: What? It ain't gotta be over baby.

Me: Excuse me?

Tracey: Let's go get fucked up and have some fun?

Me: (disgusted and paused by this offer) Ma'am, I'll have to pass.

Tracey: (yelling and embarrassing herself as I walk away) That's ok, wasn't getting none of this pussy anyway.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Pop the cork & steam the Vega & get lit, (what!)

Friday, September 14, 2007 13
First - This group is ridiculously underrated. I can not wait for their next CD.

Second - When I get overwhelmed at the office (or in life in general) I listen to this song. For some reason, it calms me. It takes me back to '97 - summer before high school - when I had no worries, no nothing. Sometimes I'd kill to go back to those days.

Question: What song makes you forget about all your worries for 3 or 4 minutes?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

This bitch is insane...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 15
Its one thing to be a fan. This - whatever it is - is quite another. I mean, come on now.

And the Emmy goes to...

Never Forget 9/11/01

I’ll never forget where I was where I was on September 11, 2001.

I was headed to my 8:30am lecture in Tydings Hall. When I got to class, no one was in the room. I wondered down the hall and noticed a bunch of people (including most of my classmates and the TA) crowded around a small television in a lounge. There was an odd, uncomfortable calm about the room.

CNN's coverage of the WTC attacks in New York was on. When I approached, the first tower was already ablaze, but still standing. Initially, I thought this was simply an unfortunate and tragic accident involving some poor soul who made a wrong turn. Minutes later, I watched a plan slam into the second tower. It was at that point I realized that this was not an accident. Someone was flying plans into the World Trade Center for sport. Both towers literally crumbled within minutes before our eyes.

As we watched the gut wrenching broadcast, we learned that another related attack had taken place about 12 miles from the building we were in. The Pentagon - the very building that serves as the symbol of American military strength and power - had been also been hit. Another plane, rumored to be heading for the White House (6 miles from where we were), crashed in Pennsylvania.

Although I'm fortunate enough to have not personally known a victim of 9/11, the events of that day hit very close to home.

Two of my close friends lost both parents - one pair had just concluded their vacation and was actually flying back to Maryland from LA on the flight that was flown into the Pentagon. One friend lost an uncle who served as a firefighter with the FDNY. Another lost a best friend - a DEA agent who happened to be assigned to New York.

You see, majority of students at Maryland are from Maryland and have family and/or friends who work for the federal government in some capacity. Lots of people know people who work at the Pentagon. Also, 1 out every 4 students at Maryland is from New York or New Jersey. Lot and lots of people in that room and on campus lost family and friends that day.

This is typically where I would insert my jaded and pointed opinion about how the Bush administration handled (is handling) this circumstance. Not today.

Today is about remembering the lives of everyone that was lost on 9/11 and honoring the fallen heroes and heroines who gave their lives to help others and protect our country at home and abroad.


Writing this post made me realize that in addition to 9/11, I experienced a bunch of tragic incidents during college. In addition to September 11th, I experienced the following tragedies as an undergraduate:

September 24, 2001 - A F-3 tornado rips through central Maryland and right through the middle of Maryland's College Park campus. Note the path the storm cleared in the picture above. It literally went right through the middle of campus.

Two sisters were killed 50+ others were injured. School was closed for a couple of days as authorities cleared fallen trees, cleaned up debris and the like.

Former Maryland Basketball standout and All-ACC guard Steve Francis provided dinner and clothing to over 700 displaced students who were living in the Campus Recreation Center and $1 million of his own dollars to start the Maryland Tornado Recovery Fund.

October 2001 - Not many people remember the Anthrax attacks of 2001. I do.

I remember it because the Brentwood postal facility that routed the contaminated mail to Democratic Senators, Tom Daschle and Patrick Leahy at the Hart Senate Office Building is located about 10 minutes away from where I lived at the time.

This was personally scary because my mail was routed through the same facility. Some of my bills went unpaid for about a month as a result.

October 2-24, 2002 - Imagine living in fear for 3 full weeks knowing that two fools are on the loose in your area and are executing victims at random. Imagine seriously fearing for your life while completing the most simple tasks like pumping gas, waiting for the bus or crossing the street. That's what life was like for me (and everyone else in the Baltimore-Washington-NOVA area) for much of October 2002.

The DC Sniper killing spree began on October 2, 2002 in Aspen Hill, MD - a county away from where I lived at the time. This was crazy because of how close to home and how random it was.

You may have heard it on TV, but people were genuinely afraid to go anywhere and do anything. Sporting events were canceled, stores were closed, festivals were postponed. It was nothing to see people walking in a zig-zag pattern to avoid being shot. Gas stations put up blue tarps around the overhead shelter above the pumps to shield patrons from being hunted.

My roommate woke me up at 7am one morning asking to use my cell phone to call home. The local news had just reported another shooting on a Metrobus on the line his Dad takes to get to the office. A few hours later he found out that his Dad was indeed alright.

I interned at a high school that was less than a quarter mile away from the elementary school were the sniper struck (but luckily didn't kill) a 8 year old kid. Each and every time I passed that building, I thought about that little boy and if the sniper would come back again and if I'd be next.

I remember one morning local news stations advised the public to be on the look out for a white cargo van. People were avoiding white cargo vans like the plague. Hell, I was terrified by every white cargo van I saw that day.

This was truly the most unnerving three weeks of my life.

The really scary part is what would have happened if they weren’t caught by police. Below is a synopsis of phase two of their plan as told by John Allen Muhammad:

“Phase Two was meant to be moved up to Baltimore, MD. Malvo described how this phase was close to being implemented, but never was carried out. Phase Two was intended to begin by killing a pregnant woman by shooting her in the stomach. The next step would have been to shoot and kill a Baltimore police officer. Then, at the officer's funeral, they were to create several improvised explosive devices complete with shrapnel. These explosives were intended to kill a large number of police, since many police would attend another officer's funeral.”

November 2, 2004 - After losing the Ohio electoral vote, Democratic Presidential nominee John Kerry concedes the 2004 presidential election to incumbent George Bush. In what may be the most tragic event of them all, President Bush returned to office for a second term.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

I think its clear what's going on here...

Sunday, September 9, 2007 6
50 cannot wait for the camera to stop rolling. Soulja Boy is loving every minute of it too; he's like a kid in 50's candy shop. Young Buck didn't let his piece stray too far away.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I Can't Believe I Made A Desperate Plea

Tuesday, September 4, 2007 10

"Green Eyes"

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend
My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I don't care, I swear
I'm too thru with you I am
You don't mean nothing to me
So go ahead and be with your friend

My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend
My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

I'm insecure
But I can't help it
My mind says move on
My heart lags behind
But I don't love you any more
I'm so insecure
Never knew that love did this
Ooh, ooh

I can't remember the last time I felt this way
About somebody
You've done something to my mind
And I can't control it
But I don't love you any more
Yes I do, I think
Loving you is wrong baby
Ooh, ooh


I'm so confused
You tried to trick me yeah
Ooh, ooh, oh
Never knew that love could hurt like this
Never thought I would but I got dissed
Makes me feel so sad and hurt inside
Feel embarrased so I want to hide
Silly me I thought your love was true
Change my name to Silly E. Badu
Before I heal, it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while, chile


I hope it's not too late
Too late, too late, too late
Feeling insecure
Your love has got me sore
I don't want no more

Oh, oh
It's too late, oh, oh ooh, ooh
I'm sorry I love you
At first it was cool
You told me you loved me too, ooh
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
And then you lost your love
You wanted me to go away
But I can't go
See I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late

Just make love to me
Just one more time and then you'll see
I can't believe I made a desperate plea
Believe me yeah, ye-ah, no, oh
You see I can't leave, it's too late
I can't leave, it's too late
Don't you know, I can't leave, it's too late
Can't go no where, no
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late
It's too late yeah
Come on babe

Don't you want be strong with me
You told me we could have a family
Want to run to me when you're down and low
But times get tough and there you go
Out the door, you wanna run again
Open your arms and you'll come back in
Wanna run cause you say your afraid, afraid

Never knew what a friendship was
Never knew how to really love
You can't be what I need you to
And I don't know why i fuck with you

I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains

Race for Baltimore's City Hall

I usually don't touch local politics - not even with a 10 foot pole. Typically, its not worth the trouble, especially in Baltimore. I grappled with the decision to even blog about it, but I decided to go ahead and let you all into the drama that is local politics.

In my lifetime, I’ve experienced 5 different mayors with a billion different issues:
  • Martin O'Malley, former Baltimore City Councilman and current Governor of Maryland, probably did the best job of any mayor in my lifetime. He wasn't perfect, but he made good shit happen in the City of Baltimore and that's pretty much all I ask of anyone asking for the right to lead.
And then there's the incumbent and current mayoral front runner, Sheila Dixon. She's basically assured the job. She has 46% of the local vote; her nearest competitor has 19%.

I'll admit, I'm not a fan. Dixon is inarticulate and downright tacky (and ghetto) at times. Let's just say she's not really cut from a mayoral cloth - if you know what I mean. She's not revered by the people (at least not by me). She got the job because her boss went on to become the big boss in Annapolis and by statute, the City Council President assumes the role of Mayor in the event he resigns that post.

In fact, her claim to fame (aside from the sporadic nepotism scandal) is being the aunt of former Maryland Basketball standout Juan Dixon. But she's smart. She recognized that in order for her to get to the top, she had to ride the coattails of other people (read: Governor Martin O'Malley). She waited and waited and finally reached a point of power. Can't fault her for that.

Dixon's most immediate threat is Keiffer
Mitchell - a relatively young scion to the Mitchell family's political dynasty. I like him better than Dixon, but I'm still unimpressed.

In true front runner fashion, both he and Dixon have been satisfied to hold onto the status quo and coast as far as possible without posing any real ideas. Unfortunately, the status quo in Baltimore is about ten pegs below absolutely unacceptable.

Normally, stage presence counts for a lot in politics and I'm willing to give credit to candidates who I feel can persuade and get things done, even if I prefer their ideas less than those of a less-persuasive candidate. In this case, however, not only do Dixon and Mitchell lack anything of substance, they also are no more captivating than those at the back of the race.

I'm open to hearing any ideas from anyone, but unfortunately it seems like several of our candidates are hoping to get through the campaign without proposing a single idea at all. That's why I'm not even bothering to vote in the September 11th coronation.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Happy Labor Day, I Guess

Monday, September 3, 2007 4

Why are the world's most productive workers not working today? Exactly what makes today special enough to become a national holiday? Nothing significant happened on the first Monday in September in American history...EVER. Nobody died. We didn't win a war. We don't get gifts. WTF makes today so special?

I had to get to the bottom of this.

I did some research and just as I suspected, Labor Day was basically created as an excuse to have the day off. How very American?

Back in 1882, the Central Labor Union (now AFL-CIO) began its quest to create a day off for blue collar, everyday people. In not-so-American fashion, Congress actually bent under the will of the people and offically made Labor Day a federal holiday in a 1894 Act of Congress.

So, bascially, people wanted some comp time and complained to their local labor union, which in turn complained to the national labor union, which then bitched to Congress.

Intially, there were parades and fesitvals and speeches by prominent people promoting economic development and civic duty. So, people actually did something on Labor Day.

Now, we don't do anything. We sleep in late and do very little all day. We check our check email only once or twice a day (in the afternoon) and dare our boss to send ANYTHING work related because, of course, we don't labor on Labor Day. We take the dog out for a (very short) walk because, September or not - it's hot. We get out of our beds only to watch a bit of CNN News Desk to get our news fix and ESPN News to get our sports updates and grab a bit to eat before heading back to bed to take a quick nap before 8pm so we can catch the Florida State-Clemson game on ESPN.

Well, that's what I do because I refuse to labor on Labor Day.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

I went furniture shopping last night

Sunday, September 2, 2007 8
I'm not sure if I mentioned this on the blog before, but I'm moving into a new apartment soon.

I happened to be downtown in Harbor East last night, so I stopped Arhaus Furniture take a look at what they had. I wouldn't furnish my whole house from this place, but the have some good pieces. The lady who helped me mentioned that other locations are in Chicago, Boston and Northern Virginia. I know people from those areas read this blog, so if you're in the market for new furniture, give them a try.

Here's what caught my eye:

(Just the ottoman)


Saturday, September 1, 2007

Speaking of Cooning...

Saturday, September 1, 2007 4
This video is courtesy of Black Entertainment Television.

Sadly, I'm not surprised. What makes it worse is that netowrk executives actually support this crap. "It’s meant to be very satirical, said Denys Cowan, senior vice president of animation for BET, "[the video] was not part of any literacy campaign or 'Schoolhouse Rock' alternative, but was intended for BET’s demographic of 18- to 34-year-olds."

I don't buy BET's "lighten up, it's just sattire" crap either. It would take that network to fuck up a positive message.

What's really sad is that at one point, BET was home to quality programming; Teen Summit, BET Tonight, Lead Story come to mind. Now its come to "Read A Book".

BET should be ashamed.

Anyway, you decide for yourself. The video and lyrics are below. Take a look and tell me if in your mind, this is acceptable.

Read a book! Read a book! Read a muh'fuckin book!
Raise yo' kids, raise yo' kids, raise yo' God damn kids!
Your body needs water - so DRINK THAT SHIT
Buy some land, buy some land, buy some muh'fuckin land (what)
Brush yo' teeth, brush yo' teeth, brush yo' God damn teeth
Wear deodorant nigga, wear deodorant nigga
It's called Speed Stick (bitch) it's not expensive (bitch)
Read a book! Read a book! Read a muh'fuckin book!

A Six Step Guide to Coonery

Step 1: Find an empty pool
Step 2: Look and sound as ridiculous as possible

Step 3: Demonstrate an equally absurd dance
Step 4: Set this foolishness to music

Step 5: "Now Youuuuuuu, Crank Dat Soulja Boy"
Step 6: Set the black race back 20 years

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