Thursday, February 28, 2008

Bush: We acted robustly. We're not headed into a recession

Thursday, February 28, 2008 5

Our fearless leader is being delusional again.

"We'll see the effects of this pro-growth package," President Bush said today in his news conference at the White House. "Why don't we let stimulus package 1, which seemed like a good idea at the time, have a chance to kick in?"

The President claimed to be only marginally concerned with our weakening dollar, slumping job, housing and stock markets, and rising food and gas prices. He thinks that we all just need to take a chill pill and relax. To paraphrase the President, his critics and worry warts alike should let his brillant economic stimulus package go out before they clamor for more.

Wait...let's journey with the President into his special La-La Land where everyone's cheeks are rosey and they smile all day. Milk, butter, seafood, eggs and corn are selling at record prices and gas will likely sell at $4.00 per gallon before the summer is over, but all is well. The President has everything figured out in his mind. The real world application of these ideas just havent happened yet. But, it will. Don't you worry. I mean, if we really were poor, would we be spending $15 billion per month in Iraq?

Of course not.

Anyway, with the rest of his speech, he slammed the senate dems for not passing the telecom immunity bill and Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for not being on board the NAFTA train.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

In other news....

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 16
I have a conference call with the blogger meet-up planning committee this evening and for a number of reasons I really need to firm up the guest list for this little get together in April.

So far I have heard directly from or have gotten second-hand confirmations for the following people:
  • Darius Williams (and guest)
  • Cocoa Rican
  • That Dude Right There
  • Nuttin_Nyce
  • Jared
  • Humility731
  • Nia
  • Fuzzy
  • Promiscuous X
  • Dammit
  • ShawnQT
  • The Captain (and "travel companion")
If your name is on this list and should be removed or if it should remain with a caveat, please reply with a comment or email me at amerikas (dot) muse (at) gmail (dot) com.

If your name is not on this list and you'd like to come, please know that you are more than welcome. Just comment or email and let me know.
We're trying to create a good experience for you and having an accurate head count is really important.

Regarding lodging...

I've recieved several emails asking at what hotel majority of the bloggers will be staying. There is no central place where people will be roomming. The suite I've reserved will serve as the central location for most of the group activities, no doubt, but slumber space will be limited, I'm sure.

Most people I've talked to are following their pocketbooks, to be honest. One blogger found a great deal just south of downtown near BWI. Another blogger will be commuting from Annapolis, which is about 40-45 minutes away. There are, however, a ton of hotels in and around the Harbor East neighborhood where I'll be.

As always, if you find a property and want to get the scoop on the hotel itself or the neighborhood its in or whatever, shoot me an email and I'm more than happy to help you out.

I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible in April!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Breakfast at Cafe Des Arts

Monday, February 25, 2008 18
That Dude Right There drove down from West Palm Beach on Saturday morning to meet for breakfast. We went to this French spot on Collins Avenue in South Beach for breakfast. Aside from being graced by my lovely presence, the highlight of the morning for those two jokers had to be when TDRT got checked by the French server for trying to speak Spanish to her when she brought us our food. She put that ass back in his place.

French Chick: Please enjoy.

(Server turns to walk away)

TDRT: Gracias.

(Server quickly breaks stride to check his ass)

French Chick: I'm French.

(Server turns away to help other customers)

Me: (gag)

TDRT: (stuck with a dropped jaw)

Now...this faux pas wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't just told us a couple of minutes earlier that she was French and that her English wasn't all that great. I guess his ass was too busy telling me that I looked Middle Eastern with a beard to listen to her.

He gagged. I laughed. It was funny.

Anyway, I forgot my camera in the car, but here are the few candids I was able to snap.


Sunday, February 24, 2008

Do yourself a favor and DO NOT see this movie

Sunday, February 24, 2008 10

I dragged Yet Another Back Guy to see what I thought was going to be a good movie this afternoon. We both want our money back plus more for pain and suffering.

Before he has an opportunity to blast me and assail my taste in film, let me explain. A few weeks ago I saw the Vantage Point trailer. The shit looked great. I mean when you have a movie that emulates the assassination of an internationally hated American president (cough, cough...Bush), how can you go wrong? Well, we should ask the director and producers because they managed to do just that.

This movie had everything from shitty acting to a porous plot. And to top it off...the shit was poorly written. To give you a bit of perspective...despite being a drama there were bouts of collective laughter throughout the theater at various points during the showing.

If you don't believe me, believe Reuters and it's film review.

I can't believe I wasted $10 and 2 hours on this bullshit.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Sittin' on my Miami balcony -- eatin' chicken.

Friday, February 22, 2008 15

First, I should say, I'm not really eating chicken. At 9:52am it's a little early for that. The title of this post means something to two people who read this blog. It's no inside joke or anything like that because in the past I've actually posted the audio clip from which this is excerpted. Right now, however, I know they are going off in their little work cubicals back in Maryland. And with good reason.

Second, I'm not sure how many of updates I'll be posting while I'm here. I'm really bad about forgetting to bring the camera and besides, you bitches should be looking to schedule your own vacations instead of living vicariously through me.

Anyway, I'm in Miami...finally. Well, I should say that we're in Miami. Royce drove down from Orlando, picked me up from that outdated and convoluted mess Miami considers its airport and drove us to the hotel where we're staying. We arrived WELL before the 4pm check-in time (due to my dumb ass scheduling a 6:30am flight from BWI) and had to wait a bit for rooms to become available.

No big deal.

We killed several fucking hours a little time at Aventura Mall, a fairly upscale shopping mall located nearby on Biscayne Boulevard. Royce's fickle ass was searching for denim. Not just any denim though. Don't you dare make the mistake I made by suggesting just any jean cus he'll let you know that's not what he wants! Finally he told me he was searching for a pair of dark denim with no wash and no distressed frays whatsoever. I told him to go look in the early 1990s where character-less jeans belong. But I digress...

We searched in every store I would typically go into for denim: Diesel, J. Crew, Banana Republic, Macy's, Express, Urban Outfitters and Lacoste. We went into Armani Exchange and Lucky and Boss and still....nothing.

He gave up. Little did he know I had given up quite some time before 1991.

After calling the hotel only to find out that the room still wasn't ready, we headed to Target to get some toiletries. On our way to Target, sneaker boy here spotted a Sports Authority. Of course we had to stop in. Nearly 90-minutes and 1 pair of Jordan's later, we were on our way.

After hitting up Target, we heading to the room that was finally available. I'll admit to being pleasantly surprised. Their suites looked nice (albeit slightly dated) in the pictures on the website, but let's be real a hotel that put shitty pictures of their property online.

The room was spacious. I'm unsure of exact square footage, but it's more than enough space to be a single man's apartment. It came equipped with all the normal shit you'd expect in suite: full (and surprisingly spacious) kitchen and dining area, separate living area, a nice sized bedroom with a marginally comfortable king bed and a very comfortable bathroom featuring a stand alone shower, jacuzzi bath and a bidet.

You know I used the bidet, right? How often do you get to do that?

When we got settled, we both agreed to take a nap before hitting up South Beach around 8pm. I had been up since 3am. He left his house at 5:15am. Each of us deserved a brief reprieve. Well, that damn reprieve turned into a full blown slumber. We both woke up around midnight. Our first night in Miami which was supposed to be spectacular began and ended around 2am at an IHOP on Collins Ave.

I woke back up this morning around 6:30, did 5 miles on the treadmill while watching the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean and walked what felt like a mile to the Publix grocery store across from the Trump International for oatmeal, yogurt, white grape juice and some other things.

I do have some pics to share. Nothing major, just the view from the balcony and a picture of block head asleep over here. Im using his laptop to post this. When I figure out how to upload pics onto his computer, I'll come back, edit this post and add them.



Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Please Get Your Pop-Pop

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 9

Man Arrested With Nearly $1.4M in Pot

Wed February 20, 2008 | posted 3:30 pm

New Carrollton, Md. - Police in New Carrollton arrested a 72-year-old New York man after a minor car accident lead to the discovery of over 150 pounds of marijuana.

Authorities say Rodell Alton Cole bumped into another car in a convenience store parking lot. The accident lead police to discover that Cole was driving on a suspended license.

That's when officers ordered Cole to remove the bags from his car.

"When the officer removed the large bag, and wrapped his arms around it to lay it on the ground, not only could he smell it but he could feel what he believed to be dope of some kind," says New Carrollton Police Chief David Rice.

The bags contained 156.2 pounds of marijuana with a street value of nearly $1.4 million, according to police.

Investigators believe Cole was in the area making a drug run from New York.

"It's nice to know we caught one coming through before it made it to its destination," Rice says.

Thank gawd for these next few days...

Current Weather

Baltimore, MD
Baltimore-Washington Marshall International Airport
21°F - Heavy Snow
RealFeel®: 19°F

Winds: SE at 3mph
Humidity: 75%
Dew Point: 19° F
Pressure: N/A
Visibility: 2 Miles

Miami, FL
Miami International Airport

77°F - Partly Cloudy
RealFeel® - 79°F

Winds: E at 7mph
Humidity: 35%
Dew Point: 56° F
Pressure: 30.17 in
Visibility: 10 Miles

Sunday, February 17, 2008

My Short Week

Sunday, February 17, 2008 9

Monday, February 18th - Full day of meetings in Aberdeen, Maryland

Tuesday, February 19th
- Jury Duty, Downtown Baltimore (yuck!)

Wednesday, February 20th - Full day at the office to tie up loose ends before vacay.

Thursday, February 21st - Super Shuttle scheduled to pick me up from home between 3:30am - 3:45 am for my 6:45am flight from BWI to Miami.

(Lots and lots and lots of fun, sun and debauchery)

Monday, March 3rd - Return to the office. :-(

Friday, February 15, 2008

People Poll Question of the Day

Friday, February 15, 2008 17
I certainly wouldn't consider myself an exhibitionist, but I can see how that mistake could be made. In my lifetime, I've had my fair share of fun in some interesting places:
  • on the shore of the Potomac River in Washington near Regan National Airport overlooking the Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial (that was romantic....or at least not as raunchy as it could have been);
  • on a pier on the south shore of the Inner Harbor in Baltimore overlooking the Baltimore skyline (at least the view of skyline kept me entertained);
  • on a bench tucked away in Fairmount Park in Philadelphia (that was REALLY fun);

  • on a beach in Mexico while a storm was slowly approaching in the Gulf.
I should stop before you all think I'm some sort of freak and, besides, you all get my point.

Anyway, with that said, what's the wildest, most outrageous place you've ever had sex? And if you're common and conventional and prefer to stick to beds, tell me (and the rest of the e-world) where you think you'd like your first non-boring sexual experience to take place.

P.S. - This post was inspired by an e-mail conversation I had the other day with La Bella Vita, one of my absolute favorite bloggers in the whole wide blogosphere. I'm not gonna get into what she shared with me because, well, that's not for me to do. She can share if she'd like to.

But I will say this.

I'm particularly excited this weekend because after reading her wonderful blog for months, she's going to be in Baltimore on other business this weekend, but has carved out some time for us to meet! We're going to drink like a fish and eat tapas like Aretha Franklin would if she was told she had 24 hours to live. We should have a blast...with her crazy ass.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

My boss really tried it this afternoon

Thursday, February 14, 2008 9
Me: Hey, do you have about 5 minutes to spare? I need you to sign some stuff.

Boss: For you? Absolutely.

(We walk into her office and sit down. She starts signing stuff.)

Boss: Oh! I'll use my red pen since it's Valentine's Day.

Me: Is it really? I forgot all about that. Being single and all you don't have to keep those things in mind.

(She takes a break from signing and looks at me)

Boss: Well, [Mr. Jones], you know, that's when you need to go out and find yourself a nice, uhhh....friend to spend some time with.

(she resumes signing)

(brief silence)

Me: Wait... What?


Whoa, whoa, whoa. Talk about an overreaction. This guy needs some lithium or some sex or a well rolled doobie...or something. There is simply no excuse for this type of over-the-top response to a 14 y/o white kid who happens to be breaking a no skateboarding ordinance near West Shore Park. That probably explains why the cop was suspended without pay by the Baltimore Police Department.

Some of you may have already seen this video on CNN or Fox News or whatever national news outlet you trust to keep you in the loop and if you haven't, well, then you need to switch networks. Some people are calling this police brutality. Those people, in my opinion, are stupid. The guy overreacted, but brutality though? Nah. Rodney King and Amadou Dialo were treated brutally. Little Eric here got a stern talking to and slight shove to the ground. Not so brutal.

Eric's a trooper though. I'll give him that. He was sticking up for that skateboard. If that had been my black ass, I would have sat on that curb when he asked me to and followed every statement with "sir". If I didn't, then I'd end up beat up and battered on my 10 o'clock news asking "why we all can't just get along". I know BPD's reputation. I watch The Wire.

Let this be a lesson to you hoes coming here in April. Don't skateboard at the Inner Harbor and if you see this officer DON'T CALL HIM DUDE!!!! A DUDE IS A PERSON WHO WORKS ON A RANCH!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A note about the Potomac Primaries

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 15

I, along with about 15,000 other people, on Monday schlepped downtown and waited patiently for hours in Baltimore's arena to hear his last hurrah before voters in DC, Maryland and Virginia took to the polls yesterday.

I went into it fully expecting a prototypically fluffy stump speech -- and he certainly didn't disappoint on that front -- but I though that he'd have something of substance to say. He started talking about the war and how we shouldn't have gone into it and then he said...'I plan to do something about this war we're in.' I'm like...ok, here comes that substance I've been waiting for. Then...nothing came. It was almost like I was in some bizarre-o world. Everyone around me was screaming and yelling and applauding and I'm wondering if I missed something.

Barack has pathos. I'm sure there's some substance somewhere, but he does a good job appealing to people's emotions. Regarding the war, for example, all he did is use those keys words: war, bad, Bush, wrong, hope, change, audacity.

John Q. Voter ate it right up.

As you probably already know, Sen. Barack Obama swept what politicos are dubbing the "Potomac Primaries". And really, in all fairness, I should mention that he didn't just beat his opposition, he mollywhopped that hoe. I mean, he took Hil to a dark alley and thrice has his way with her.

Sen. Hillary Clinton, who hasn't won a contest since Super Tuesday, didn't so much as utter a word about her being swept up and down the Chesapeake as she spoke in El Paso, Texas last night. Her obviously struggling camp continues to spin, spin, spin by asserting that their plan to focus on the big states is still working and that neither she nor her supporters should be concerned over Obama's recent success and momentum because, well, it's still early.

So, wait a they really expect voters to believe that despite firing her #1 and #2 and loaning $5 million of her personal money to support her campaign and losing several contests in a row that all is well in the Clinton camp? Puh-lease.

I have to admit, though, that I'm not sure how I feel about Sen. Obama's totally grass roots driven success. On one hand I'm ecstatic that people, particularly young people, are interested and involved in politics and that a black man is realistically the front-runner for the democratic nomination for the presidency. On the other hand, the people voting for him have no clue about what he stands for or politics in general.

For example, this girl at my polling place said last night that Barack was “so hot that it’d be criminal to vote against him”. Seriously? You’re voting for the next president of the United States, which is arguably the most powerful position in the world because you think he’s hot?

Get real and get a clue while you're at it.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Agent Zero Shaves His Hero

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 11

There's always been something about Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas. He's always seemed a Even when he was in college at Arizona he was weird. Everything from his tattoos to his paradoxical responses to relatively straight-forward questions to his spastic behavior is very peculiar. Well, add this to the pile.

Recently, Gil was asked by Men's Journal magazine to discuss the worst physical pain he's ever experienced. I have no idea how this question even came up, or why Gilbert felt he had to give us this disgusting imagery in his answer, but this is this is what he had to say:
"When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend's razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything -- just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers."
I have a few concerns:

1) You're an NBA All-Star. Why are you using your girlfriend's rusty razor to shave your balls?

2) I know all about skin that keloids, but your balls though? Yikes!

3) Why are you shaving your ass crack? I don't even do that.

4) Why is this any of our business? And if you think this is no different than me sharing that I'm not wearing any drawers today, then think again. I'm an e-nobody who told a few people online that I went commando today. He's a celebrity told thousands of people he shaves his ass with rusted razors. Not a good look.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying....

I'm Going Commando Today

I went to the gym this morning, worked out, showered, got dressed and realized I didn't have any goddamn underwear. When I packed my gym bad last night, I put in everything except my damn boxer briefs.

Now, I had a decision to make. I could either:

A) Leave the gym and rush home to grab some undies risking be late for my dentist appointment or;

B) Say fuck it and let my nuts hang.

So, I said fuck it and let my boys hang. Yeah, that's right, I'm going commando today. But, you know what, this ain't so bad. I mean, I ain't too cool about doing it everyday or nothing like that, but it's a nice little novelty. Variety is the spice of life, after all, right?

You bitches better not try to call me out on this shit either.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Obligatory Grammy Picture Post

Monday, February 11, 2008 11
In this post I ask various random questions about the presenters and performers of and the 50th Annual Grammy Awards.

Is it me or does Aretha get fatter and fatter
time I see her?'s not me.

Why is Prince's tiny ass more man than many men will ever be?
Stilettos and all.

When did Alicia Keys suddenly become stunning and
completely un-dyke-esque?

A Grammy for 'Umbrella', eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh?

John Legend's Inner Thoughts:
Why am I backing this Fergie bitch up?

I'm a grown ass man.
Why does Cirque du Soleil scare me?

Silver metallic though?

Why is he so entertaining for all the wrong reasons?

Am I the only person who thinks Beyonce needs
to take a Jill Scott-esque break?

What in the hell is Cher wearing?

Speaking of Jill...yikes!
And why do those damn tits look so damn massive?

Am I the only person who is REALLY happy for Amy Winehouse?

Who in the hell let Solange's D-list, tacky ass in and why
is Beyonce wearing her senior prom dress?

Did Chris Brown think the carpet was his date and that they needed to match?

Why is Nas ALWAYS trying to make a statement?

Kelis is the shit, isn't she?

What is Tina doing?

What is wrong with Cyndi Lauper?


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Boo Asian Pedicure Bitch

Sunday, February 10, 2008 7
Yesterday started early and ended late for me. I woke up to run some errands and to finalize things for my upcoming vacay in Miami. After I got home, I decided to go ahead and walk down the block for my semi-bi-weekly pedicure. I grabbed that iPod and bop down the block to my neighborhood pedi place.

As I approach, I see the girl who usually pets my dawgs, but she's walking away from the store. That seemed odd. She saw me and nods/half bows and says something I really couldn't understand. I assumed she was saying she'd be right back. So, I go in and sit down.

10 minutes elapsed. The 15, then 20. I'm like hold the hell up. Is she coming back or not? As a black male, I already stick out more than Amy Winehouse at a anti-crack convention. I really didn't want to spend more time there than I needed to. A few minutes later, this bitch comes racing through the door with a goddamn Starbucks cup in hand. It was at that point I decided she was drinking her damn tip. She can kiss that extra $5 I throw her way goodbye.

So, this hoe comes over to me and says, "Station 6."

Station 6?!?! That's all you have to say? You make me wait 20 minutes for your ass to return from Starbucks and the only thing you say is "Station 6"? I can't even get a 'I'm sorry' or a 'my bad' or a damn ventti iced carmel macchiatto for my wait? Bitch, please.

I thought about leaving, but knew I really don’t have time to do this during the week and that I was not going to Miami without getting my toes taken care of. Messy feet are fine during northeast winters in Baltimore when these feet won’t see the light of day, but not in Miami. I’m not trying bury my feet in the sand everyday. So...I took my ass to Station 6.

I hop in the chair and remove my shoes and socks. She starts running the water and making all the preparations and stuff. Now, let me you something. Anytime I'm getting recuperative services performed i.e. massages, pedicures, facials, etc., I don't want to talk. It's my time, not theirs and I can very much hold her accountable for this because I had to check her ass on it before.

This convo started by her asking if I wanted to get the mani/pedi combo for $32. I pondered it for a second, but ultimately thanks. I mean, I'm totally comfortable walking into a nail shop to get a pedicure. That's a no brainer. Getting a manicure and a the same time, well, now, that tests my manhood.

Anyway, at this point that water is warm, those bubbles are flowing and that massaging chair is kneading my tensed back like dough. I'm feeling good. My attention is focused on that blackberry. I'm emailing Nia and La and Royce and Nuttin Nyce among others. I'm pretty cool.

Then she asks me again if I want the mani/pedi combo. I'm Then she asks something about if I work somewhere or something. To be honest, I didn't understand what she was saying. I'm like...just take care of my feet. I mean, I didn't come here to party.

So, she gets to work. I mean...she's going to town using those oils and liquids and shit. She's cutting and clipping and scrapping and peeling and doing what she does. Then, she did the one thing that REALLY grinds my gears -- she starts talking to the other worker two stations over in their language. I HATE that shit. You're speaking another language, your eyes are shifting back and forth between someone else and my feet. I can't understand what you're saying. What the fuck am I supposed to think? I've been getting pedicures for about 2 years or so and I absolutely hate that shit. Plus, I still didn't forget about her ass making me wait for her to go to Starbucks and not bringing me back a damn iced carmel macchiatto.

So, I unreclined that message chair, leaned up and said...are you talking to her about my feet? She was taken aback. I guess no one ever asks what they're talking about. She, no. We're talking about how chilly it's gotten outside after being so pleasant this afternoon. Wait a minute. You expect me to believe that you're talking about the weather while grinning and smiling and eyeing my feet? Riiiiight.

Anyway, she finishes up and this is when things really got dicey. While I'm putting my socks and shoes back on, she disappears to the back to do whatever she was doing. I'll admit, I was completely focused on that blackberry, so I kinda walked toward of the front of the store. She rushes up behind me and says....can you pay now?

I look at her like wait a minute, bitch. Don't try to play me like somebody trying to skip out on their check. I'm not trying to get over, hoe. I practically throw a $20 at that bitch and keep it moving.

As soon as I got outside I emailed La and told her what had just happened. Her response was simple and concise: Boo Asian Bitch.

My sentiments exactly.

She does a good job, but she pissed me the fuck off yesterday. I'll see that ass in two weeks though.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Young, Dumb and Full of.....Debt???

Friday, February 8, 2008 9

Everybody's talking about the sub-prime lending/mortgage crisis, but nobody's talking about the (literally) poor, heavily indebted recent college grads. Below is a snapshot of what I'm dubbing the " Gen Y(uppie)" financial meltdown. It doesn't paint a rosy picture.

At least now I won't feel too badly the next time I'm out paying $15 a drink on Martini Mondays or Tapas Tuesdays at my favorite ultra-chic and oh-so cosmopolitan bar/lounge. Every other 20-something in the building is telling themselves they shouldn't be spending money, too.


Per USAToday:
  • Nearly two-third of twenty-somethings carry debt.

  • Nearly half have stopped paying a debt forcing their loans into default.

  • Total debt is up 10% - an average of $16,120 as compared with five years earlier.

  • Student loan balances rose 16% in 2007 to an average of $14,379.

  • Debt has forced some young people to change their career plans. Of those surveyed by USATODAY, 22% say they've taken a job they otherwise wouldn't have because they needed more money to pay off student debt.

  • 29% have put off pursuing post-baccalaureate education because they already have too much debt. 26% have put off buying a home. 11% have put off marrying and 14% have put off having children.

  • 19% have moved back home to live with their parents to put off costs.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Please get into this interview!!!!

Thursday, February 7, 2008 11

Nobody reads people quite like Mr. Wendy Williams. She went off in a very subtle way on Puffy’s latest debacle, I mean, band. Not that Diddy hadn't already done it, but she ripped each of them a new asshole. She read them like the bad piece of non-fiction they are. And I love her dearly for that.

Get into her piercing quotables:


Wendy To Q: I can see how that mistake [about you being gay] can be made, but, you know, you’re a nice young man. You have a very nice complexion and nice rosey lips and nice straight white teeth. They’re a little bucked, but you’re not gonna get that fixed are you? That’s your character.

Wendy: Robert, do you have a little process in your hair?

Robert: It’s au naturale, baby.

Wendy: Negro, please.


Wendy to Willy: Now, you, according to the sources, are alleged to have been possibly gay. Are you gay?


Wendy to Willy: Gay is not a look, it’s a feel. And the verdict is still out on you.


Wendy to Mike: And can I just say this? Mike, I’m sorry. I feel like a horrible person, but…. you need a bigger cross. And I can just say this as a big girl as bigger people all of our accessories need to match us. Your cross would be more fitting on a smaller guy. But you just need a cross that’s a little bit bigger.

(later in interview)

Wendy to Mike: Mike, I did not realize that you loss so much weight. Congratulations. You know what, I apologize for that cross statement, but you do need a bigger cross, but I realize now how small that cross would look if you were know what I mean?


Wendy to Q: Oh, Q, all the blood is just rushing to your mouth. You’re lips get redder and redder as the interview goes on. Don’t worry, it’s almost over.


Wendy to the Band: The inside scoop you’ll have to listen to on the subway on your way back to the headquarters. (Note how the Band was completely stuck after this...they didn't know what to say.)


Wendy as the Band walks out of the studio: I don't see anybody switching. Wait...hold on.

Gotta Love B. Scott

He's funny and sassy and true to himself. You gotta love that. Note how he tosses that hair back at the 3:30 mark. He is too much.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

People Poll Question of the Day

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 7

Let's pretend I'm giving you an FDA-approved pill that allows you to change ONE non-physical thing about yourself. What would you change.

Sexuality aside, I'd try to change my lack of patience in a heartbeat. I tend to get easily annoyed and even flustered by people and things I perceive as stupid.


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Blogger Meet Up Stuff

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 3

Thanks to Darius, we now have a lovely banner (see above) advertising our little event. That banner will be up on my page until after this event is over. I encourage others to put it on their pages as well. The page to which this banner links will serve as the central location for any and everything that is the blogger meet-up. All the information you’ll ever need to know will be here. This is also where I’ll be putting updates, etc.


Event Overview

Here's the scoop. The 1st annual meet-up or whatever we’re calling this thing will take place in Baltimore, Maryland on April 18thApril 20th. All bloggers are invited. I really don't think anyone will mind if anyone comes.

The Residence Inn I planned on reserving that weekend is all booked. I had to switch to a hotel in another neighborhood. This location is a little tougher to get to from the airport (just a few extra bucks for the taxi ride) for those flying, but is a much better overall location. We’ll be within walking distance of many more restaurants, shops, lounges, a movie theater, a grocery store, etc, etc.

Anyway, we will now be at:

Homewood Suites by Hilton Baltimore
625-A South President Street
Baltimore, Maryland, United States
Tel: 1-410-234-0999 Fax: 1-410-234-0399

Downtown Baltimore-area Lodging Accommodations

CLICK HERE for a sampling of hotels located in the downtown area. I'd stay at all but, like, two of the spots on that list, but take that for what it's worth. If you look on Expedia or whatever to find something cheaper or further out in the city or suburbs and want to know about the area or it's proximity to downtown, then just shoot me an email and I'll let you know what I know about it.

The Blogger Meal

I'll cover the cost of the suite and provide the pots and pans, plates, glassware (and stemware for wine if that what people want to do) warming tins and burners, and a griddle somebody randomly gave me one Christmas that never gets used.

Purchasing stuff directly related to the dinner will be a collective effort. There's a Whole Foods two minutes away by foot and a Super Fresh a few blocks away by car. It takes 5-10 mins to drive there. For you fancy-smancy bitches, there's a Fresh Market and a Wegmans off the JFX. It takes about 45 minutes or so to get there.

I would like to get a sense of what our menu will be before hand. If people can email me ideas of things they think they’ll need, I’ll put together a list so we can have an idea of what we’ll need from the grocery store when we go together as a group.

Event Theme

Darius Williams has been spearheading figuring out the theme and other frilly details for this event. A few days ago, both he and I asked you guys to forward him some fantastic ideas for themes around which that weekend should be based. Many of you have and those have been great (Fuzzy submitted a really good one. Keep those theme ideas coming.

Can't wait to see you guys in B'more!

Pay your f- -king bill you piece of s- -t!

Could you imagine getting something like this in the mail? Cordial creditors have a hard enough time getting me to pay. I can only imagine what I'd say to these people.


Nasty Letter for a $16.96 Debt
Email this Story

Feb 2, 12:00 AM (ET)

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) - A collection agency tried to collect a $16.96 debt with an letter that addressed its recipient with a four-letter word for excrement. "Dear S---," began the letter attempting to collect from an old record club membership. The word was spelled out in the letter, which arrived in an envelope addressed to "S--- Face."

"I've never seen anything quite so brazen," said attorney Kenneth Hiller.

He said his client plans to sue Nationwide Collections Inc. of Fort Pierce, Fla., next week.

Under U.S. law, debt collectors are not allowed to use profanity to collect a debt, Hiller said, nor are they supposed to threaten legal action over such a small amount.

Nationwide President Phillip McGarvey said the October 2007 letter was automatically generated after his company bought about 350,000 Columbia House accounts. "S--- Face" is the name under which the account was opened and the way the coupon to start the club was filled out, he said.

Hiller's client has signed an affidavit saying he never signed up for the music club membership under that name.

"It looks bad to the observer who is not familiar with the industry," acknowledged McGarvey, "but anybody who understands the volume would understand how this could happen. ...You've also got people filling in famous people's names."


Monday, February 4, 2008

Several really random updates....

Monday, February 4, 2008 7
EDIT: Ok, so, yesterday around 12:30pm I got a call from the Maryland SPCA. They said I had to come and get my dog because he was barking and growling at anyone who tried to get near him. I'm not sure how much I believe that, but whatever. Anyway, he's back home and I'm back at square one. I don't know what to do when the pound won't take your dog. am I supposed to do? I can't keep him. I'm in the same situation now that I was in when I decided he needed to go. The only option they offered was for him to be euthanized. I'm not going to have my dog killed just because I'm not fit to care for him anymore. WTF should I do?

I've been missing in action for a bit, but I wanted to update you all on the world of Mr. Jones. So, here goes:

My company’s annual gala has come and gone...finally

You all might remember me bitching and moaning last week about this huge annual event at my job and how hard we all were working to make it happen. Well, I am happy to report that hell week is officially over and that the night went off without a hitch. Our annual gala always makes me realize that there are some rich bitches in this world, but we love them because they give to a great cause. Despite this little recession we’re in, there were some REALLY wealthy people in that building that night. One couple randomly decided to give us $1 million. One of our live auction packages went for $37K. Another went for $26K. Watching people spend thousands of dollars on the live auction was simply incredible. Can you imagine dropping $37,000 on an auction package after paying $50K or $100K on the table you’re sitting at?

Wow, right?

My Dog Is Gone

I didn’t mention him much here, but I had a dog for about a year. He was great, but my schedule just didn’t work out for him. He spent way too much time in his crate and not enough time running and playing and stuff. I took him on Sunday to my local SPCA office. I was fine until the lady asked what I most liked about him. I’ll admit to dropping a tear or two. They quickly whisked him away and that was that. There’s a chance I could get called to pick him up today if he doesn’t do well on his temperament test. On one hand I’m hoping I don’t have to do that, but on the other hand, I miss my dog.

Cookie: The Anthropological Mixtape

Aside from phenomenal sex, the one good thing that came of this one failed relationship a couple of years ago is my love of Meshell Ndegeocello. She’s the bomb. Slowly but surely I’m acquiring her entire discography. Last month I was stuck on ‘This World Has Made Me the Man of My Dreams’. Now, my shit is ‘Cookie: The Anthropological Mixtape’. She’s the bomb. There’s no way around that. I suggest you bitches cop that joint.


I leave for Miami in 17 days. I'm soooo excited. Can't wait to ditch this 20-degree weather for the sun and fun.

That's all for now.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

I'm suddenly in the market for a new trainer

Saturday, February 2, 2008 5
He says...sometimes all you need is a hard wood floor and some towels for a good work out. Trust me, I know.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin