Monday, March 30, 2009

Hon, you are the daughter of the VP of the United States. Why are you snorting coke on camera at a house party in tiny Wilmington?

Monday, March 30, 2009 8

A friend of the daughter of Vice President Joseph Biden is attempting to hawk a videotape that he claims shows Ashley Biden snorting cocaine at a house party this month in Delaware. The videotape is being peddled for $250,000.

An anonymous male "friend" of Biden took the video, said Thomas Dunlap, a lawyer representing the seller. Dunlap and another man claiming to be a lawyer showed The Post about 90 seconds of 43-minute tape, saying it was legally obtained and that Biden was aware she was being filmed. The Post refused to pay for the video.

Read the whole story: New York Post

Friday, March 27, 2009

On Repeat

Friday, March 27, 2009 0

My Way Home - Kanye West

Reason #182 Gays Often Have A Bad Rep: Unnecessary Sass and Drama

This clip is from the opening minutes of the very first episode of the new season of BET's College Hill.

I'm all for standing your ground, but his response was much too much. Yes, she was she a prissy b*tch that did try him ever-so-slightly, but his reaction way disproportionate and out of line. They JUST met and he went awf like she tortured, then killed his cat.

Poor gal got the reading of a lifetime between 4:06 and 4:22. This dude WENT WAAAAAY IN for 16 seconds straight. Ugh! @ how mean and nasty some gays can be for no reason whatsoever.

Am I the only one who thinks his reaction, though good for a chuckle, was totally over-the-top?

ULTIMATE DOOM @ that neck pop lock and drop @ 3:49

Thursday, March 26, 2009

"Naaaa Na Na Na Naaaa Na Na Na Na Na Na Naaaa Na"

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Does anyone else remember this?

This clip takes me back to the good 'ole days when TV was fun -- and the economy was robust. Forget an updated 90210, I wanna see the 2009-2010 version of 'A Different World'. Who's with me?

And since we're talking about this I the only one who got to college expecting caring, stern house mothers, impromptu dorm battles, cantankerous, yet loveable food service staff and RAs that look twice as old as the other students?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Has Lost Her Mind

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Nancy Pelosi doesn't think enforcing some of our immigration laws is a good idea. I guess we don't need the Justice Department. We can just ask Pelosi what laws she thinks we ought to enforce.

Last weekend, the House speaker was condemning raids by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents at an immigration event in San Francisco.

Madame Speaker had this to say: "Who in our country would not want to change a policy of kicking in doors in the middle of the night and sending a parent away from their family? It must be stopped. What values system is that? I think it's un-American. I think it's un-American."

In case what she said was not crystal clear, Nancy Pelosi was telling a largely Hispanic audience in California that enforcing America's immigration laws is un-American. This is called pandering.

On Friday, Pelosi said she's standing by those idiotic statements, adding that we have to enforce our laws, control our borders, protect our workers, and create a path to legalization for those who aren't full documented, but repeated that does not mean kicking in doors in the middle of the night. Pelosi said what we really need is comprehensive immigration reform.

So here's the question. Nancy Pelosi says enforcing our immigration laws is "un-American." Is she right?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I've been waterboarded into joining Twitter.

Thursday, March 19, 2009 11

Add me, and follow my twats.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

To the slutty b*tch goes the spoils, I guess.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 22
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Reggie Bush is too fantastic to be with Hollywood's favorite mattress. Much to my chagrin, it looks like he and Kim Karslutian are still very much an item. These photographs are for April's GQ magazine, which hits newsstands on March 24th. They both look great for the most part, but my ill will toward this hoe won't allow me to give her too much positivity.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Ohhhhh, so THIS is how BET is staying afloat.

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There isn't too much (read: anything) I tune into BET for, but when I saw the trailer for the network's [sarcasm] fresh and unique [/sarcasm] scripted reality concept called 'Harlem Heights', I decided to set my Tivo to record a couple episodes.

The show, which according to its website "features a diverse cast of eight young adults who share common goals as they make the post-college leap into adulthood, finding love and success in the big city on their own terms", is pretty boring. It's basically 'The Hills' meets black people and New York City.

The eye candy is what makes it worth the Tivo disk space.

Meet Harlem native Jason; he's the pick of the litter. He's very Uptown and there's something about Uptowners that do it for me.

Thoughts? Comments?

More pics:

It's 9:30AM EST and I've already listened to this song two-and-a-half million times.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

PLEASE Stop The Madness!!!!

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Photograph submitted by a reader to City Paper's "Whose Responsible" section. Photo snapped at The Barclay School, an elementary school on 27th Street in Baltimore

George Bush once asked "Is our children learning? This sign clearly tells us the answer.

Yes, this sign is real. Some dumb ass actually thought the subject and verb agreed with the other and that each word was properly spelled. This school, The Barclay School, is about 15-20 mins away from where I live.

It's sad, isn't it? Almost as sad as the piss poor education Bonquiqui and Deytwan must be getting there.

My Terps Made The NCAA Tournament!!

This is neither a steak nor a blow job, but it will do.

Maryland made the NCAA tournament this year. This makes me happy, but it annoys me, too. This gives Gary Williams more fodder for his very public feud with athletic department senior staff. Sure this is Gary's 13th trip to the big dance in the last 16 years, but the '09 berth is only his second since winning the ACC championship in 2004.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but this actually makes me happy.

If you aren't into college basketball and think this post (and sports in general) is ridiculous, and pointless, then I'ma pray for your wretched, wayward soul.

Friday, March 13, 2009

March 14th is National Steak and Blow Job Day!!! Mark your calendars!!!

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Though it's not officially recognized by the federal government, tomorrow is National Steak and Blow Job Day. I'm not usually one to get up for holidays, but this one has me feeling extra festive.

If you're unfamiliar with the holiday, here's more information from
"Call it the perfect compliment to Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s Day is typically celebrated with flowers, chocolates and all that mushy lovey dovey talk…I Love You! That’s great for women! As men, we should feel compelled to have a similar day dedicated to us. That’s Steak and BJ Day. For those of you that don’t know, BJ stands for blowjob and we’re not talking about the shooter (Bailey’s, Amaretto and whipped cream). There’s definitely cream involved but not the one you buy from the local grocery store."
If you'd like to buy a t-shirt (or other naughtier mementos) to mark the occasion, click here.

Who wants to help me, ummm....celebrate?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Stress got you feeling a little down? Watch this video. It just helped me.

Thursday, March 12, 2009 6

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

How to Make the Next Move

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 23

Every so often I post seeking advice because I think you all are a valuable resource and I value your opinions, for the most part. This is one of those posts.

You may not know this, but Mr. Jones isn't very confident when it comes to approaching the fellas. I know you're thinking: "How can this be? He seems so brash and forward and snarky and borderline arrogant. I was almost CERTAIN he'd be full of himself."

That's sooooooo not me. Well, maybe just a lil bit. ;-)

The odd thing about this is that I not only manage in most every other social situation, I thrive! It doesn't matter if I'm speaking in front of hundreds in an auditorium, presenting research or pitching an idea to a classroom/boardroom full of people or simply socializing at a cocktail party, I'm good. When it comes to guys, however, I clam up and turn into a scared little reclusive p*ssy.

After discussing my woes ad nauseum with two of my closest, most trusted advisers, I concluded two things: 1, though I do my thing, I've never really been one to seek or approach a random person and 2, the only way to conquer this mess, which is clearly a result of lack of experience, is to practice. But I can't practice cus I honestly don't know what to do or say. Therein lies my rut.

Get into this anecdote below and offer whatever help you can, please.

I'm diddy bopping down the block this morning toward the metro station to catch the train to work. Standing on the side of one of the buildings on the Johns Hopkins Medical Campus was this dude that caught my eye. He was a fairly young and decently dressed light-skinned Puerto Rican cat with these lovely thick jet black braids; he had the 5 o'clock shadow beard thing going on, too. He wasn't drop-dead, but like I said...he caught my eye.

As I walked past him, I kinda glanced his way to, you know, take him in. We made eye contact that lasted a little longer than it probably should have. Like most (all?) homos I know while that's certainly not telltale, it's a sign that we may play for the same team.

I continue walking down the street about 4-5 yards past him. Without breaking stride, I turn back to get a second look at my new longaniza. Much to my surprise, he (and possibly it) was still looking at me. I take a second to enjoy my "Lorretta Devine walking away from Gregory Hines in 'Waiting to Exhale'" moment, walk another 10 feet or so, and again without breaking stride turn back and Papo is STILL looking my way.

In the end, I kept it moving, crossed the street and went underground to get on the subway.

Given those details, what should I have done? Should I have walked back to approach? Started conversation? What? Like, I'm really mad clueless.

I know this issue isn't exclusive to me, so I decided to solicit feedback here in an effort to promote discussion and learn tricks of the trade.

Tehehe @ the pun.

Monday, March 9, 2009

It doesn't get much better than Chelsea Lately.

Monday, March 9, 2009 18

Aside from Kathy Griffin's D-List ass, I don't think there's a funnier chick in the game right now. Get into this interview Chelsea did with T.I. awhile back.

LMAOOOOO @ her grabbing his booty at the beginning and the priceless look on his face when she did it.

CTFU @ "Actually, I sold loose white women. Thank you."

JUMPS OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING @ "Were you really selling prostitutes? [...] Oh, cus I was gonna say maybe we know each other."

ELIZABETH, I'M COMING HOME!!!! @ T.I.'s face at 5:19.

**gasps for air and reaches for asthma inhaler**

I can't take anymore.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Caption This Pic

Friday, March 6, 2009 15

Chris Brown to Rihanna: "I’m going to beat the sh*t out of you when we get home. You wait and see."

If Rihanna is a good girl gone bad, then Chris Brown is a good boy gone brolic.

According to the charging documents and LAPD detective notes from a search warrant obtained by
  • Chris Brown has been charged with two felonies, including assault likely to cause bodily injury and making criminal threats.

  • Brown could face a maximum of four years and eight months in prison.

  • Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown’s phone from another woman. The pair argued, and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car. Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna’s head against the passenger window, punched her and continued punching her while driving.

  • Chris Brown to Rihanna: “I’m going to beat the sh*t out of you when we get home. You wait and see...You just did the stupidest thing ever. I’m going to kill you.”

  • Brown punched Rihanna, bit on her ear and fingers, and put her in a headlock.
As a firm believer in and supporter of Article 3, Section 2 of our Constitution, I'd be remiss in not mentioning that this is all alleged and that he hasn't been found guilty of anything by a jury...yet.

I should also note that Chris Brown has made no effort to publicly dispute these claims as the details surfaced. He did, however, manage to mention how ecstatic he is with Rihanna's decision to not testify against him.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The World Is Small and Facebook Makes It Even Smaller

Thursday, March 5, 2009 18

Note: This is absolute true story. You can't make this stuff up, folks.

8.2 million people live in the Baltimore-Washington metro area, yet somehow this sh*t happens.

A couple days ago, my most significant ex and I became Facebook friends. As is expected when you add a new friend, I went on his profile to browse around just to see the goingsons. I noticed that one of his friends had a VERY familiar name and face. I immediately clicked on the guy's name to get a better look. Since we weren't Facebook friends, I could only see a thumbnail picture. That wasn't enough for me to confirm if this was who I thought it was or not, so I added him as a friend. A few hours later, he accepted me. I went to the computer to view all of his pics. Even 10 years later, I knew at first glance that this was indeed the infamous and VERY memorable Mike, the first dude I ever did the nasty with.

I got my ex on the phone and asked how he knows Mike. He told me that he and Mike are good friends. In fact, he and his current dude and Mike and his current dude often go on double dates together. They spent Thanksgiving together as a group. Hell, they all went to the movies together just this past Friday. Like, they're all really good friends. I asked how exactly they all know each other. I was told that Mike and my ex's current are best friends -- and former lovers.

Remember, the Baltimore-Washington metro area is home to roughly 8.2 million people and somehow the guy I was with for the longest of them all hangs out regularly with the guy who unvirginized me. As if that weren't enough, the guy I first had sex with had a sexual relationship with the guy my ex is currently f*cking.

Can the world get any smaller and can this situation get any more awkward? Sure it can.

My ex is having this big bash in DC for his 30th birthday on the 28th of this month. I'm going to be there, his current guy is going to be there and Mike, the cherry popper, is going to be there. Fun times.

8.2 million motherf*ckers live here, but this crazy shit happens to me. Un-freaking-believeable.

Six degrees of seperation ain't got nothing on me.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Kanyeezy Did His Thing On This One

Wednesday, March 4, 2009 6

I tried like hell to find this song on IMEEM, but I couldn't. I'm kinda disappointed because you all know when I post music I usually prefer to e-rape your earlobes with auto-play. I love this track because it's vintage Kayne: no summer scarves, no Birkin bags, no diva sh*t.

The song is called 'Late'. It's hot; it's been in my rotation for a minute now. You should definitely listen to it. Like, really listen to it because it's a good song. I can't believe Late Registration dropped four years ago already.

Kayne West - Late

[Chorus: Kanye West]
I'll be late for that, baby I'll wait for that
If you had a taste of that, you'd probably pay for that
I'm comin in when I feel like
To turn this muh'fucker up only if it feels right
I'll be late for that, I can't wait for that
I think I was made for that
So I'm comin in when I feel like
To turn this muh'fucker up only if it feels right

[Kanye West]
Stop all your blood claat cryin, I was flyin
Made it to school with barely 'nuff time to sign in
Yeah I hear the alarm, yeah I hear you mom
Yeah yeah I don't wan' be broke when I'm 31
They said the best classes go to the fastest
Sorry Mr. West there's no good classes, and that's what yo' ass get
Not even electives? Not even prerequits?
You mean I missed my major by a couple of seconds?
Now I'm in the shop class or the basket weavin
With all the rest of the muh'fuckers underachievin
Man, this is a insult
I went to junior high with all of them and they been slow
If I can catch the beat then slow down the tempo
Just notice at the end if I'm too late for the intro
Will I make it from the student loans to a Benz-o?
Like old folks pissin, I guess it all (Depends), oh, oh
... Stop you're cryin baby


[Kanye West]
You know when you be late you miss all the lights
That's right (that's right) that's right (that's right)
And when you get back she gon' start up a fight
That night (that night) that night
Baby it's too late for that, lately I've been takin it slow
Try and make it to the party 'fore the guest list close
With the freshest hoes, the professors know
We about to get real unprofessional
Like them eskimos, what would you do for a Klondike?
Or two dykes that look Christina Milian like
Hmmm, I'll be on time for that
I ain't thought of no line that could rhyme with that
Yo, I'll be there in five minutes, five hours later
I'll be there in five minutes, go 'head ride with it
I'm so live with it, look how I did it
Been bullshittin but I finally arrived with it
I know it's late and I took all year but
You can stop complainin cause I'm finally here, yeah

"I'll be late for that" - [repeat 4X]

Word to the Wise: Don't EVER Stand Between A Black Person and Chicken

I know I said I wouldn't be updating this until Monday, but this training is soooooo mind-numbing that I need some sort of escape and this place is it. Besides, this sh*t is so ridiculous that I HAD to share it.

Get into the audio of all THREE 9-1-1 calls the woman made above and the news story below. Is this just coonery at it's finest (or not depending on your perspective) or does she have a valid gripe? I'll let you call it.

Florida Woman Calls 911 After McDonald's Runs Out Of Nuggets

- Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.

A police report says 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.

"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one," Goodman told police, according to The Stuart News. "This is an emergency."

Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.

A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What's the deal with Black men not being cordial to each other?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009 11

| Copy This


Editor's Note:

Scratch that. I'm not sure why I thought I'd be much more swamped than I am. Still feel free to browse the achieves, which can be accessed by clicking here. Also, I still suggest you start with the posts with You Tube videos because they really are funny as hell and mad entertaining. You can get to the YouTubes by clicking here.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Spotlight on Black Folks Doing the Damn Thing: Desiree Rogers, White House Social Secretary

Monday, March 2, 2009 9

If there's one thing you should know about Mr. Jones it's that I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE seeing upwardly mobile black people doing big things. Call me what you like, but I will openly admit that it's personally fulfilling to finally see people who look like me having their time to shine after years and years and YEARS of being denied access to damn near everything.

Meet Desiree Rogers, former Chicago public relations executive and socialite and current White House Social Secretary. This 50-year-old mother of one (who, for the record, doesn't look a millisecond over 40) simply exudes class and tact. This is one little lamb chop I can truly say I live for.

Take a minute to get into the video. This interview with the Washington Post is part of its multi-part series called "Voices of Power" chronicling the new power brokers in the District. If you're interested in seeing the other interviews the Post has conducted so far, click here.
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