Wednesday, April 29, 2009

People Poll Question of the Day

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 14

Though we all have our vices, some are worse than others. Many exist in the world, but to simplify this discussion we'll focus on two: weed and liquor. In answering today's discussion question please feel free to draw from personal experiences/anecdotes or those of people in your lives.

Today's question is simple: Is it worse to be a pothead (read: heavy smoker) or an alcoholic (read: heavy drinker)? While we're at it please also tell me if you think one is more socially accepted than the other.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm much more comfortable defining a pothead than I am defining an alcoholic. That probably has a lot to do with me being a relative non-drinker. However, to focus our discussion, let's define a pothead/alcoholic as one who in 30 calendar days enjoys their respective vice on at least 20 of them. I'm not married to either definition, so feel free to include your own if you disagree with mine.

Thoughts? Oh, and if you're going to respond, then actually pick one. Washes don't fly here.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

ATTENTION BLACK PEOPLE: There's more to life than fried chicken.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 14

This damn aftermath of that "Earth Day" special that Popeye's chicken had will not go away. I CAN NOT take this video. Not at all. You all I usually go in EXTRA hard on coonery like this, but I don't feel the need to on this one. These people do themselves in.

ULTIMATE DOOM @ some of the quotes:
"People got kids dat dey tryna feed for the special and you mean to tell me that we can't feed our kids because ya'll didn't order enough chicken? Ya'll knew ya'll were having this special almost two months ago...and dat's wrong."

"They should've had a stockpile of chicken for this day."

"I was tryna feed my family tonight. Can't get that bucket in now."

"We've been looking forward to this day."
Is fried chicken really what's poppin in the streets? Like, is it really THIS serious?

Oh, and UGH! @ there being NOTHING but black folks in this "news" piece. I've been to Rochester before. They could've found some White, Asian, or Hispanic chicken-seekers.

I'm not dealing with this foolishness right now. Not at all.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Black Folks Love Themselves Some "Good Hair".

Thursday, April 23, 2009 15

I pass the same lady pretty much every day on my way to work. She's a grey-haired older black lady. She told me her name once, but I don't remember what she said. So, let's call her Evelyn.

Ms. Evelyn is a very, very pleasant lady. I see her because she works at Johns Hopkins Hospital, I sorta kinda work near there, and I guess we just cross paths at the same time every day.

The weather started to break about two weeks ago and she saw me without a hat for the first time. She usually just waves at me, but she stopped me that day. Here's part of our exchange:
Ms. Evelyn: Something looks different about you today. [pause] Oh, you cut all your hair off!

Me: I never had hair.

Ms. Evelyn: Oh, so what is it?

Me: I dunno. I'm not wearing a hat today.

Ms. Evelyn: That's it! You're not wearing a hat! You need to show off that good hair!
She saw me the other day when morning temps dropped into the 30s again. I put a hat on cus it was chilly as hell that day. She stopped me again to talk:
Ms. Evelyn: I see you're wearing a hat again.

Me: Yeah, it's pretty chilly this morning. This weather needs to decide what it wants to do.

Ms. Evelyn: Tell me about it. But, see, you're young and you got good hair. You need to take that hair off and brave the cold.
Now, someone has to explain this to me. What is up with black people and this notion of good hair? While I'm up here on my soapbox I'd like also like to know why my hair holds me to a different standard.

Am I fortunate to have hair conducive to rocking a few waves and a fresh ceasar? Sure. But what does that mean in the long run? My hair doesn't advance me in life. It won't get me a better job, a Master's degree, that house on the hill I'm chasing after or that million dollars I've been asking for. That's all sh*t I have to work, not my hair.

Why do people still give a damn about the texture of someone's hair?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Britney Spears has a daughter?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 7

Sorry for the poor picture quality, but this is well worth it. This is photo of Britney Spears and her two little boys; it was snapped on the carpet of some D-list fashion event.

The first thing I noticed is that Britney looks -- better. She looks happy. She looks healthy. She has hair. I'm even go on record saying I honestly think there's a chance she's wearing underwear.

On the other hand, these boys of hers need some work. They're far too podunk and the little one on the ground looks like his name should be Amber.

Look at him: that hip cocked to the side, the left leg is fully extended, that right hand looks like it's in a snapping motion, that neck is bent, he's rocking those come hither bedroom eyes, and those lips are perched and pouty.

Is that a ponytail with a pink bow or is the pink logo on the backdrop peaking out under that hat? I can't really call it, his androgyny is in the way.

Yeah, I went in.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

This Picture Is Waaaay Too Many Things

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 20
The stark contrast of the neon yellow against that dark skin of the one in the center. The atrocious Barney Rubble feet on the one on the right. The lip gloss that's poppin' on the one on the left...

I could go on.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Laaaaaa, Laaaa, La La...Wait 'Til I Get My Money Right

Friday, April 17, 2009 11
If money weren't an issue and I had the chance to buy any two cars of my choosing, I'd buy a Bentley Continental GT and a Range Rover Sport.

Sure, they're luxury brands, but these are VERY practical cars: a luxury coupe to stunt on these hoes in and a much more sensible luxury truck for hauling stuff/people in.

If I needed to, then I'd also get a 4-door little something like the Infiniti M35. You know, for all the hoes I meet at the club and the little Asian and African kids I'll probably adopt.

Get in.

Bentley Continental GT

Range Rover Sport

Infiniti M35

Thursday, April 16, 2009

TJ Holmes >>>>> Your Life

Thursday, April 16, 2009 8
Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Just so you know...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 28
Dear Readers:

I am officially denouncing men. They aren't worth the hassle and headache. I'm seriously done.

In fact, I'm never having sex again-- with anyone! My fleshlight and I will be getting intimate in perpetuity. At least I don't have to make excuses for it doing dumb ass sh*t that people with an IQ over 100 should know better than to do.

Don't any of you dare try to convince me otherwise either. I don't care how many great stories and anecdotes you have, you'll never get me to switch back to your team. I'm done with people in general. Inanimate objects only from now on.

I just thought you all should know this. Thanks for enduring my rant.

Best Always,
(A very aggie, salty and bitter) Mr. Jones

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'm loving both of these pairs of sneakers.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 11
Black Snake Skin and Suede Sneaker by Alejandro Ingelmo

Quilted High-top Sneaker by Marc Jacobs

Monday, April 13, 2009

Open Letter #5

Monday, April 13, 2009 16

Dear Somali Pirates:

Word on the street is that you all are mad three of your own were killed yesterday at the hands of the United States Navy. In fact, I heard that you people are so salty that you've vowed revenge against our country.

I suggest you hoes deal with it.

You bitches shouldn't have f*cked with something that wasn't yours in the first place. You see, America ain't these other p*ssy ass nations that you can run game on. Russia, France, Italy and company may sit down and hug it out with you, but we ain't them. They may ultimately end up giving you millions of dollars to release their citizens, meanwhile America sends in the goons and snuff you out, no problem.

Moral of the story: Stay in your lane and off our boats!


Mr. Jones
Founding President
Coalition of Americans Sick of People Effing With Us

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sponsored By The Chronic

Sunday, April 12, 2009 11
It's 5:47am pacific time and though I have a flight out of LAX at 9:50am, I'm awake listening to Drizzy and thinking about life. I'm thinking about how this homo thing is so damn superficial and often makes you feel so damn inadequate.

I don't care how many degrees you have, how big your heart is, how fantastic your job is, how great your apartment is, how much weight you've lost, or how handsome you are, the life really finds a way to make you feel like shit.

You can have the best personality, the prettiest smile, the hottest wardrobe, the best friends, the most supportive family and access to opportunities usually reserved for the most fortunate, we always seem to find a way to forget about how great our lives really are.

I'm also thinking that the club we went to tonight was off the chain and that Cali has some of the best bud I've ever had in my life.

Playing in the Background:

Say Whats Real - Drake

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I'll Admit It. Drake Makes Me Feel Some Kinda Way

Thursday, April 9, 2009 5

So, y'all know actor/signer/rapper Drake, right? If you don't already you can get familiar with him by clicking here and here. It should really be a f*cking international war crime for a 22-year-old half Black, half Jew from Canada to turn me on as much as this one does.

Not for nothing, but he really could get it on the strength of his adlibs begining at 2:03 on this track alone. The fact that he sings and raps well and seamlessly doesn't hurt his stock either. I wouldn't consider myself a Drake stan, but he better hope he never bumbs into me in Houston cus I'm gonna hold him to every word he said in this song.

**wipes up moisture and changes undies**

Anywho...the track that's playing is called "November 18th". It's on his mixtape called "So Far Gone". If you haven't downloaded it, do yourself a favor and get some Drake in your life. If this track doesn't tickle your fancy, you can rest easy. The mixtape is far more diverse than you would think.

Drake and I are 'bout to ride out and just cruise around Los Angeles until my homeboy gets off of work.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Reason #183 Gays Often Have A Bad Rep: Stalkerism

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12

Story from Rhymes With Snitch:
"Jamie had to fight off a crazed male fan who tried to bust his way into his hotel room. Somehow the dude got in the hotel and up to Jaime's floor and had convinced Jaime he was one of Beyonce' producers. When Jaime opened his door he knew immeidiatley [sic] the guy was off and tried to slam the door in his face. The dude put up a fight until Jaime overpowered him, slammed the door and the guy fled. 9 days after the alleged incident Jamie's private security spotted the guy blocks away from the hotel and contacted police. He was arrested for burglary, criminal threats, stalking, false imprisonment and harassment."
Moral of this story is: Let the straight men be, kids.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I'm Going, Going, Back, Back to Cali, Cali

Monday, April 6, 2009 10

Remember that lil vacation I was begging for a few months back? Well, in exactly 3 days your boy will be ditching the east coast for the sun and fun of LA-LA Land. By this time Thursday I'll be clear across the country in Los Angeles.

Because I like the sense of accomplishment I get when I can physically cross off or strike things, about a year ago I created a top-5 list of American and international cities I've never been to, but would love to visit. Los Angeles followed San Francisco, New Orleans and preceded Minneapolis and Denver.

Internationally, there's a whole host of cities I've never been to, but would love to see. London, Paris, Dubai, Tokyo, Madrid and Sydney most easily come to mind.

Today's question is this:

What are the top-5 American and international cities
you've never been to, but are dying to visit?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Say Hello To My Little Friend

Thursday, April 2, 2009 17

The iPod Touch

"By far the best, most satisfying purchase I've made in 2009." - Mr. Jones

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