Friday, February 27, 2009

I miss my pooch. :-(

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Maybe it's because I'm feeling under the weather today, but I miss my dog. Today would've been the perfect day to have him waiting for me to get home. He's not with me anymore. This post is in his honor.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Weed makes some people do really, really stupid things.

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The ganja won't kill you, but it will make a fool out of you.

Take this former police officer in Dearborn, Michigan as case-in-point. This fool and his equally foolish wife used the herbals he confiscated from crooks to bake brownies, then this silly mothaf*cka called 9-1-1 because he thought they were dead. This guy shows us that weed let's you enter a wonderful, magical world where you can make a complete and utter ass out of yourself and ruin your career in one fell swoop...apparently.

Oy, gevalt!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

President Obama: "We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before."

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President Obama last night in his first address to a joint session of Congress called for expensive new government efforts to address energy, education and health care. The President warned that though he understands the frustration of the American people, more federal bailouts are sure to come.

While Mr. Obama didn't totally abandon the 'doom and gloom' rhetoric for which he and his administration had been criticized in recent weeks, it was obvious he made a point to sprinkle in a little F.D.R. we-only-have-fear-to-fear-esque hope and optimism. With strong and often impassioned words the President asked Americans to believe in his ability to guide the country through this mess we're in and reminded us that better times are ahead.

Click here to watch the President's address in its entirety.

My thoughts:
  • Though I think that given the circumstances he has performed swimmingly thus far, President Obama last night showed that he's still green. First, he couldn't locate the First Lady's box in the House chamber, then he interrupted the Speaker as she called the session to order. Those are things he should know. Last night was not his first rodeo.

  • The speech was rousing at times, but he stumbled and stuttered more often than he usually does. I cant really blame him too much for that though. None of us have ever performed under lights that bright before.

  • Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton looked better than usual. That pink suit she wore was at least somewhat feminine. I love how the President handled her. He gave her ass a peck on the cheek, said "thank you" and kept it moving.

  • Speaking of keeping it moving...LOL @ Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. for thinking he was gonna get extended convo from the President because they both hail from Illinois. Obama quickly blew by his ass. I don't blame the President one bit. He should stay as far away as he can from the potential mess that could erupt as the Blagojevich investigation continues.

  • President Obama's agenda is a bit too far-reaching for my liking. I know that without successful individual parts the broader goals of his plan will never be reached, but let's be honest here. In any other economy we'd be slamming the man for being far too ambitious.

  • The First Lady of the United States looked simply sensational sitting in her box. She's very hot/cold with her looks, but she was definitely on it last night.

  • Nancy Pelosi really needs to control herself and realize that she's the goddamn Speaker of the United States House of Representative and not a high school cheerleader. I know she's giddy about not sitting behind George or next to Dick anymore, but damn! She was far too excited.

  • Biden was appropriate.

  • I love that we have a black President and all, but I'm not sure how I feel about the POTUS dapping up lawmakers on the floor like he's greeting n*ggas from around the way on the local basketball court.
Your thoughts?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Speaking of washed up "man bands" that refuse to go away...

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Dru Hill hasn't had a hit record in ages, yet somehow they continue to make sure we know they aren't dead. The former boy band from Baltimore was spotted recently on what appears to be a makeshift red carpet; they were attending the premier of their new reality TV series 'Platinum House'.

Keith Sweat is the show's executive producer. The program airs on Peachtree TV, a network I'd never even heard of before this morning. I really don't think this eight-part series, which follows the group as they prepare for a comeback, can be more irrelevant.

The years have been so unkind to Dru Hill and it shows. Sisqo still looks like he's tasting the rainbow. Jazz's fat ass looks like he ate former group member Woody. Poor Nokio looks like a damn flaming fool that just came from a hair show. Oh, and they added some new nobody.

Pics of the group at their "premier":

Bonus Coverage:

The pics below have been floating around da innawebs for awhile now, but I included them just for sh*ts and giggles. I'm still trying to figure out why Sisqo (right) is frolicking naked through the meadow with another man.

**insert perplexed smiley here**

Preview of their upcoming series:

Sunday, February 22, 2009

A Mad Lazy Post

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

**BREAKING NEWS** Mr. Jones Breaks Silence; Gives Take On Alleged Chris Brown/Rihanna Altercation

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Huge doesn't even begin to describe how big this post is. After days of remaining silent on this story [sarcasm] that has literally griped our nation, [/sarcasm] yours truly is FINALLY prepared to issue an official statement.

Before releasing this information I'm certain each of you have been anticipating with high anxiety, you all should know that getting me to touch this topic even with a 10-foot pole was a very, very difficult and daunting task. I have been contacted by several persons (read: like, two peeps) suggesting that it was time I offered my two cents on the matter. As a direct result of their diligence and hard work, I have finally decided to speak on the drama.

Brace yourself, America. This will undoubtedly be the most profound thing you read all day. My official stance on this issue is as follows:
"I don't give a sh*t about what's going on in these singers' lives just as they don't a sh*t about what's going on in mine. I'm sick of the mind-numbing discussions on the internet. I don't care to hear statements from Poppa Brown about how supposedly remorseful Baby Brown is, nor do I care to hear half-hearted, carefully scripted feigned apologies from the alleged assailant.

In the end, people really need to shut the f*ck up about this story until a district attorney indicts someone or at the very least releases actual facts surrounding these allegations."
So, there you have it. That's my take on this foolishness.

This situation reminds me of a RZA song I used to LOVE in the late-90s called "Domestic Violence". This song (and ghetto ass video) is nothing short of a cackle. Get into the lyrics below.

If behind doors Ri-Ri is ANYTHING like the sassy hoochie momma on this track, then I don't blame Chris Breezy one bit. [obligatory] If he actually did it, of course. [/obligatory]

RZA - Domestic Violence -

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

[RZA] (Girl)
What the fuck y'all birds talking about?
Get the fuck out my house
'Fore I grab you by your hair and slap dick to your mouth
Bob Digi, yeah you know who is he
Girl, I fucking slave trade your ass like Kizzy Kinte
(But wait, fuck you motherfucker)
You wish you could fuck
Bitch, all you can do is dick suck
(Your ass can't fuck, that's why your wife left your monkey ass)
Fuck that, you don't cook, you don't clean, or press my jeans
You don't scrub or wash clothes
Or buy food in this bitch
You don't read to the seeds
All you do is watch tv and smoke weed
Get your nails done, feet scrubbed and hairweave
Sleep all day, eat, gain weight, can't breathe
Talking about you're going to leave?
Then bitch leave!
What the fuck you're waiting for?
Hit the door, I ain't taking this shit no more!
Spending all my cream on Gucci, Fendi and Coach
Before you moved to my lab, bitch, I ain't never seen a roach!
Stains on my carpet, bathroom smell like a fish market
Take all the space in my closet, where the fuck's your logic?
Disrespecting my old earth, aborted my child birth
And every day I catch my credit card inside your purse
You can't speak a sentence without a curse
Talking 'bout you're going to be a nurse
Bitch, to be a nurse you got to go to school first!
When I first met you, you was a hoe
I tried to reform you, bomb you, warn you and teach you
But couldn't reach you, and you're still a hoe
Your father said you was a hoe
And when you leave me, bitch you're gonna be a hoe
Celluloid and gargoyle feet, I'd rather beat my meat
That raggedy ass pussy a starving dog wouldn't eat
Started with the body of a model
Pussy tight as a pharmaceutical bottle
And you could swallow a whole avocado
And two forty ounce bottles
To the end of the world, which to I would follow
Now, when I fuck you, the shit echos 'cause you pussy is so hollow
Turn your fat ass sideways
Your stretch marks are like the US highways
Fuck a new nigga every Friday
Talking 'bout bust a nut, bitch I'll bust yo guts!
(You cum too quick nigga)
Wonder why I cum so quick?
With that wide ass pussy and soggy tits?
I'm trying to get the shit over with, and go to sleep!
But when I'm with my real freak on the weekend
Bet that baby we fuck for two and a half hours or three
You'd better study the 1-0-40 knowledge culture degree
About M-G-T, and G-C-C

'Cause you ain't shit, and your mother ain't shit
And your sister ain't shit, and your pussy ain't shit
That weave ain't shit, your ass ain't shit
Girl you ain't shit, your daddy ain't shit

[RZA and Girl]
But fuck it, yo
let me get this fucking phone
Yeah, get the motherfucking phone
Quit motherfuckers in our fucking
business. End the fuck, or I'll pull
the motherfucking chord out of the
Man, fuck that motherfucking socket.
Yo God, this bitch is bugging I'm sick of this shit motherfucker
Get the fuck out, I'm throwing
all the shit on the motherfucking
terrace, right now. I'm sick of
I'm on the phone! this shit, you and you shit out the
I'm on the phone! motherfucking closet right now. My
Well fuck you! My name's on the motherfucking lease too
Bitch, get the fuck out my nigga, I don't give a fuck, fuck that
house man shit, you get the fuck out my lab, all
these motherfuckers sleeping in the
fucking living room. My seeds run into
these motherfuckers, these niggaz are
Yo, hey Hewey, hey Hewey in their dirty motherfucking socks and
Fuck you, yo God, my bitch... shit. Fucking dirty toilet seats and
This bitch is stupid man shit. My seeds gotta sit on this shit.
Get these motherfuckers out this
Give this fucking crab ass motherfucking lab now. Get the fuck
girl the gas yo out. Every lat one of y'all mother-
You's a hoe bitch! fuckers. Get the fuck out my lab.
Come on you's a hoe!
you'se a hoe Motherfucker don't make me pick up
you'se a hoe this bottle. Don't make me pick up
you'se a hoe this motherfucking bottle.
you'se a hoe
hoe! hoe!
hoe! hoe! bastard! bastard!
hoe! hoe! bastard!
fuck you!
hoe! you fucking bastard!
hoe! bastard! bastard!
fuck you
Yo, yo, dunn, yo, yo, God
bastard! bastard! bastard!
She's stupid dunn you're fucking dirty dick nigga
Yeah you're fucking stupid nigga
You're fucking stupid
You're fucking stupid
We'll be back son Now that's right, tell that
We'll be back motherfucker to call you back
'cause you ain't going to stay on this motherfucking phone

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lesson Learned: 200-pound chimpanzee rips Connecticut woman's face off in violent attack.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 14

There's a reason normal people stick to cats and dogs and rabbits and such when deciding on pets for the home: THEY USUALLY DON'T RIP YOUR F*CKING FACE OFF!!!

Sandra Herold, 70, of Stamford, Connecticut on Monday desperately pleaded over the phone with police to help her stop Travis, her 15-year-old pet chimp, from mauling friend and neighbor 55-year-old Charla Nash.

After arriving on the scene, police found a helpless (and faceless) Nash on the ground while Herold, the chimp's owner, frantically stabbed her beloved pet with a butcher knife and assaulted him with a shovel. After cornering one police officer near his patrol car and lunging at another, police shot and killed the berserk animal. The victim was later transported to an area hospital where she is currently listed in critical condition.

The owner admitted on Monday that the chimp seemed agitated earlier in the day and that she had given him the anti-anxiety drug Xanax in some tea. The drug had not been prescribed for the chimp. Though it is legal for Harold to have had the pet, police are looking into the possibility of criminal charges. A pet owner can be held criminally responsible if he or she knew or should have known that an animal was a danger to others.

While getting dressed for work this morning, CNN played portions of the owner's dramatic calls to 911 that Stamford police released yesterday. Audio of that call is below. Fair's semi-disturbing. You can actually hear the animal, which had been previously featured in Old Navy commercials, shrilling in the background as he attacked the victim.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I Blame YOU Chris Stokes!: Raz-B (formerly of B2K) Leaks Naked Pics

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 25

This week is shaping up to be action-packed and brimming with relevant and important news: President Barack Obama is expected today in Denver to sign a his economic recovery act into law, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez this weekend strong-armed his way into a possible 3rd consecutive six-year term when citizens approved a constitutional amendment lifting term limits, and Hillary Clinton, who spent this weekend in Asia, is continuing her first overseas diplomatic mission as Secretary of State.

But, alas, today we're talking about a washed up singer's penis and cum shot.:-(


Nude pictures of former B2K member and alleged Chris Stokes sex slave Raz-B surfaced this weekend. Message boards and bloggers are reporting that the pics had been posted on for weeks, but were mistakenly leaked (read: were obviously made public by Raz-B) on Sunday.

Seeing naked celebrities usually excites me, you know, being the voyeur that I am and all. I dunno if it's because I'm just not that into cubs, but I can honestly say that I am truly unmoved by all of this.The whole situation is just...meh. I could think of about 10 or 15 current and/or former celebrities I would have liked to have seen naked before him.

Regarding these pics, they're really nothing to write home about. A lil bit of body hair here, a lil bit of penis there. Not for nothing, but these are your typical pics you nasty loosey goosey hoes exchange regularly with similarly irrelevant local nobodies on M4N, BGC and A4A.

This blog is much too classy for naked pics, but it isn't too classy for hotlinks to naked pictures!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Unforunate Pics: Former Kriss Kross Member Spotted Looking Rough As Hell

Saturday, February 14, 2009 29

Why are his pants still backwards?

Flicks Courtesy:

Friday, February 13, 2009

What the f*ck is Twitter?

Friday, February 13, 2009 12

Everybody seems to have a Twitter now. I'm really not sure why, but that bug never bit me. Not for nothing, but I don't even know what the movement is all about. That's kinda odd cus I'm usually down with all the useful sh*t on the internet:, YouTube, Facebook,, a few quality blogs and RSS feeds, podcasts, Xtube, Nubian, and porn message boards.

I think that covers everything Al Gore invented the internet for.

Being the curious Afristocrat I am, I headed to to check this sh*t out. This is the bullsh*t explanation they give under "What is Twitter?":
Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?
That was so unhelpful. I don't even know what the hell that means. Is it like Facebook? I literally have no better understanding now than I did 10 mins ago. This is frustrating.

The way I see it is...I sign up for this website to burden myself by volunteering to constantly let folks -- peeps I've never met -- know my every move. To the folks who use this service: Is this how it works?

Can somebody please explain to me why I should involve myself with this?

Re: Valentine's Day

A friend sent this to me today and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. It's sooooo something my cynical ass would write.

Wanting to share this with you all aside, I'm writing today to wish you a happy Valentines Day. If you have a boo in your life, enjoy your boo tomorrow. Don't forget to say 'I Love You'. If you don't have a boo in your life, don't acquiesce to self-deprecation. I hear it causes crows feet. Just enjoy yourself tomorrow.

I don't have a boo, but I have fluttering butterflies in my stomach to keep me company tonight. And I'm just fine with that. Though waking up next to a significant other tomorrow morning would be ideal, the guy that's occupying my mind at the moment is consolation enough.

Enjoy your weekend.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Stimulating Package We Can All Stand Behind

Thursday, February 12, 2009 7

Americans can't afford much nowadays, but we can afford condoms. In fact, in this economy, we've been buying more of them. Customers aren't the only folks getting a rise of late. Trojan, Lifestyles, Durex and other major condom manufacturers are among the few makers of consumer goods that have experienced thrusting sales.

According to The Nielsen Co., condom sales in the U.S. increased 5% in late-2008 and by 6% in January 2009. Contraception is believed to be more popular among breeders now because families are stretching dollars and want to avoid having more mouths to feed.

Jim Daniels, vice president of marketing for Trojan brand condoms, explained this economic anomaly: "If people don't have the money to go out to a fancy dinner or are looking to cut back, Trojan gives them some real affordable ways to stay in and make some great memories together."

I'm totally 100% with Jim on this. If there's one silver lining to be found in this dark economic cloud it's that it gives guys a reason to be cheap and to go for what we're all after: dem drawls.

I can tell you from experience that in-home entertainment is soooooooo much cheaper and less fussy than the ole' dinner and a movie route. Just this past Sunday I got me some and didn't have to spend a dime outside the bedroom or wait 'til 1 or 2 in the morning to get it poppin'. Because we didn't go out, we were done at a decent hour and I was up by 7am on Monday preparing for work.

That's a good look in any economy.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What does your sleeping position say about you?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 10


Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax. This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position.


Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible.


People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds, but once they have taken a decision, they are unlikely ever to change it.


Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don't like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards.


Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations.


Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don't like to be the centre of attention.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"Dress up like a slave and for recess we'll pick cotton in the fields, kids." This is elementary school in the deep south? In 2009? Really?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 14

This upcoming Thursday was slated to be "Cotton Picking Day" at Lillie Burney Elementary in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. In celebration of Black History Month, the students were for a fee, which in previous years had been donated to charity, invited to ditch their traditional uniforms and dress as slaves for the day.

**pauses briefly to step up on and speak perched atop my soapbox**

How dare these southern white folk make a mockery of Black culture and history!!! Who do they think they are?!? Those little white kids need to learn about the slave trade and the era of systemic inequality, no doubt, but this is simply not the way to do it!!! The principal, who I'm sure HAS to be a not-so-closeted racist, needs to step forward post-haste and be held accountable!!!

**receives and reads a note from stage left outlining the full details
of this foolishness**

It has come to my attention that white folks weren't involved in this coonery at all. The school in question consists primarily of little black boys and girls. "Picking Cotton Day" was canceled and subsequently replaced by a much more practical "Career Day" after one of the black students' black stepdad complained to the black principal that the whole idea was simply inappropriate.

The principal, a black woman, was unavailable to explain what in the hell made her think this would be acceptable.

Oh, black people. We's gots tah do betta.

Source: The Clarion-Ledger

A-Rod Admits To Using Steriods When They Weren't Banned. Big Whoop.

[Note: I know very few (read: probably none) of you are into sports, but indulge me.]

There's this cross-country race from New York to L.A and the grand prize is $280 million. You decide to enter. There's only one rule you MUST follow: You may not at any time drive faster than 65 mph during the race. You later find out from the rule makers that there are no police officers or radar detectors on the side of any roads or highways and that if by some chance you do get caught, there are no penalties. Knowing this information, how many of you out there WOULD NOT do everything you possibly can to increase your chances of winning the cash?

This is essentially the decision New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, who yesterday in an exclusive (and rather lengthy) interview with ESPN's Peter Gammons sorta kinda admitted to using "performance enhancers" for a time between 2001 to 2003, faced during his stint with the Texas Rangers.

If you missed the interview, you didn't miss much. Alex appeared contrite throughout, but was also carefully scripted. Despite being as human as I have ever seen him in his 10+ year career, he still seemed very aware of every word he spoke. All Rodriguez really said was that he didn't know what performance-enhancing substances he took and hasn’t taken anything since 2003. He never once used the word steroid.

A-Rod, who is (was?) widely considered the best player in baseball, will undoubtedly forever be lumped with Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds, other famous baseball players who are either suspected of using or have admitted to steroid use. That's too bad for him, too. 48 hours ago he was a sure bet for the Hall of Fame. Now, he'll be one big asterisk for the rest of his life.

In the world where performance dictates incentives, I don't blame these players one bit for doing what they need to do to win, especially when the governing body doesn't have rules in place to stop it. Until 2004, Major League Baseball had no drug testing policy. It collected samples for survey purposes, but there were no penalties for a player testing positive for a banned substance. Football had it's issues in the 70's, but it cleaned up its steroid issues 20 years ago. Major League Baseball, which first initiated a complete banned substance testing program just six years ago should've been on top of this issue before now.

Baseball played itself and deserves what it gets. LOL @ Bud Selig.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I kinda feel badly about laughing at young David, but he's funny as hell.

Monday, February 9, 2009 10

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Really Important Breaking News From Katie Couric **Earth shattering, need-to-know info inside. This sh*t will change your life.**

Saturday, February 7, 2009 12

Katie Couric's move to CBS sure seems to be going well for her. She's doing exactly what she switched over to prime time to do: prove her worth by reporting serious news sitting behind an anchor desk. She's earning the respect of her peers by digging into the issues we're challenged by today and asking the tough questions Americans are demanding be answered. If you thought for one second that Couric had lost her mojo, think again. CNN's Anderson Cooper, who last week scored a one-on-one with President Barack Obama, isn't the only journalist getting exclusives, you know.

In her latest future Pulitzer Prize winner, Katie, oh...excuse me, Ms. Katie, has a serious sit-down with Lil' Wayne and grills him like Tom Brokaw and Tim Russert [**pours a lil liquor to the concrete for Big Homie**] could have only dreamed to do. With all the tough issues Americans are faced with these days -- two wars, a poor global economy, global warming, unethical politicians, a housing/lending crisis, etc. -- it's good to know we've got Katie Couric, a serious professional, on the job and keeping them honest.

I know Lil' Wayne isn't easy on the eyes, but try to watch the whole thing. Listening to him attempt to coherently answer her questions despite being high out of his mind alone makes it's worth your time.

Friday, February 6, 2009

B'more Big Girl Mo'Nique Slimmin' Down and Lookin' Healthy

Friday, February 6, 2009 8


Thursday, February 5, 2009

And they wonder why people shout "F**K THE POLICE".

Thursday, February 5, 2009 14

Apparently overzealous policing isn't exclusive to Baltimore. Cops all over the country stay on some brutality bullshit. Take the idiot with a badge in this news report as a case in point.

First, this fool who I'm almost certain has more significant work to do stops this girl for riding a bike on the sidewalk. Enforcing this bullshit rule was this dunce's first mistake. Then this incredible ass somehow sprays himself in the face with mace. Next, this hoe proceeds to punch this teenage girl at least four times in the face managing to be sure his dash camera doesn't miss a frame.

Some cops deserve to be jobless or at the very least on paid administrative assignment. Somebody needs to get this unstable fucker off his beat.

If you could be...

...a fly on the wall anywhere in the world, where would you want to be and why? X-rated and other seemingly inappropriate answers are not only welcomed, they're encouraged. Also, don't feel confined to one answer. Multiple responses are sexy, too.

If I could be a fly on any wall in the world, I'd want to:
  • land right above Barack and Michelle's bed in the private residence of the White House. Something tells me they'd be fun to watch at the midnight hour.

  • settle right next to former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich's telephone. Something tells me his convos would be a cackle.

  • follow the guy at my gym I've dubbed "Mr. Perfect" home and FINALLY have the chance to see what's under that t-shirt and track pants.
Your turn.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Erykah Badu names her new baby. Meanwhile, Ne-Yo inches out of the closet.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 12

Erykah Badu on Sunday continued her trend of birthing oddly named babies by rappers to whom she isn't married. The singer and new beau rapper Jay Electronica gave birth this past weekend to a baby girl and named her Mars Merkaba. Mars joins Seven Sirius (Andre 3000's son) and Puma Rose Sabti (the D.O.C's daughter) to make the Badu cypha even more complete. In her Twitter blog, the couple said they and the baby are doing well.

Badu is such a trooper. She had a home birth with a midwife that lasted about five hours and that she didn't use painkillers. Yikes! Could you imagine?

Editorial aside, congrats to Mom and Dad.


I already know what you're thinking. Yes, that is a blond wig Ne-Yo is wearing and no, this image has not been Photoshopped. The signer and producer recently sat with British pop artist Lady GaGa on some UK television show and really showed his rainbow true colors.

Honestly, I think he looks better as blond than a balding 40-something posing as a musician in his 20s. What say you?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Pres. Obama Wants To Stimulate You ASAP

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 12

YES WE CAN once again spend money like it's going out of style in the name of bringing America back from the brink of economic collapse. Or so says your president.

Barack Obama is asking the Senate to move quickly on passing a measure he thinks will fatten your pockets a bit and rescue the country from the doldrums of this very deep recession in one fell swoop. A very partisan U.S. House of Representative last week approved the President's $819 billion (yes, billion with a 'b') economic stimulus bill without a single Republican vote.

So what, you may ask, is included in this bill the President is so sure will save us?

$211 billion in tax cuts and $608 billion in government spending. The latter breaks down to "$43 billion for transportation projects, $19 billion in water projects, $21 billion for school modernization projects, $32 billion to fund a so-called smart electricity grid, $6 billion to bring high-speed Internet access to rural America." The President says the package will create 4 million jobs over the next two years.

I'm not so sure about that, nor am I sure this is the direction we need to be headed in. We saw this past Fall that spending billions and billions and billions of dollars does nothing to stimulate anything. But, what do I know?

Anywho, because we are a how-does-this-affect-me nation, I know you all are clamoring to know exactly how this will affect each of you. Here's the good stuff Obama is proposing:
  • A $500-per-worker ($1,000 per couple) tax cut for two years for anyone making less than $100,000 a year ($200,000 per couple).

  • A $1,000 per-child tax credit for workers who right now pay no income taxes.

  • $2,500 in new tax credits to for couples making up to $160,000 a year, to pay for college in 2009 and 2010.

  • Laid-off workers will qualify for Medicaid, no matter how high their previous incomes.
What say you?

Are you confident that the President's economic stimulus plan will work for you?

Monday, February 2, 2009

LOL @ the Brits getting 6" of snow and shutting shit down.

Monday, February 2, 2009 16

It's snowing in London today and those Brits just don't know what to do with themselves. The bus lines are shut down, the Tube isn't running, Heathrow is practically shut down and the other London-area airport is closed, all schools are closed, and commuter trains are running once every hour. Mother Nature shut that city DOOOOOOOWN. Those Brittons said, "Listen...We're not used to this stuff, so we'll drink our tea and hail our queen from inside. Thank you very much."

With that kind of disruption, they had to have at least gotten a few feet of snow, right? Like...that real wet, heavy shit. Right? WRONG. Those bastards got six damn inches of shit and are totally beside themselves.

Six inches is NOTHING. I remember growing up one year in Maryland we got 4 feet of snow in 3 days and were back to school in 2. No problem. In the U.S. (well, in the Northeast and Midwest at least), we grab that shovel and keep it moving. We get out outside, get that sidewalk cleared and do what we need to do.

Brits trip me out. They stay thinking then ever think their shit stinks, yet when shit like this happens they just can't deal with it.

So...Michael Phelps smokes weed. Shocking.

Even if you've been living under the world's biggest boulder the last 48 hours, you've already seen this picture of 14-time Olympic gold medalist and Baltimore-native Michael Phelps smoking the wacky weed from the peace pipe. The media vultures made sure of that.

I'm sure that like me, most of you could really give a shit about what Phelps is smoking ESPECIALLY since he isn't sharing. The media, of course, is turning this into headline news. News of the World, the British tabloid that first broke this story claimed: "THIS is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history." That's a little dramatic, no?

He may take a few hits in his endorsement deals, but in reality, he's a 23-year-old kid who got caught toting up at a house party. Who among us hasn't done that? Besides, when you're stoned out of your mind like I'm sure he was in that picture, he could probably care less.

Now, if only he sniffed out camera phones the way he swims through the water, he'd really be golden.
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