Thursday, October 30, 2008


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This is just a friendly reminder. If you haven't already done so, please remember to vote on Tuesday, November 4th. Studies show (as indicated in the picture above) that voting for Barack Obama will improve your torso region and give you a six-pack. Ok, not really, but you should still go vote -- and vote for Barack Obama.

**The content of this message was crafted and approved
by Mr. Jones for the Barack Obama. Now, if only that negro would throw
some advertising coin my way, I'd really be happy.**

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Movie Recommendation: Notes on a Scandal

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If you’re looking for a good film to Netflix or download or whatever, then I have just the thing for you. It’s a couple years old, but that doesn’t matter. It’s still good nonetheless.

Notes on a Scandal is a British film that did marginally well on the independent circuit here in the States. It was a much bigger success in the UK and Australia, but most Americans are too stupid and parochial to actually appreciate anything another country has to offer anyway. But, I disgress…

If you plan to watch this movie and are one of those people who are anal about being told anything that could remotely spoil the plot, then I suggest you stop reading this post now.

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The movie is a about this bitter, old lonely bitch named Barbara. She’s a tough cookie of a teacher at a comprehensive school in London and she’s hated by her colleagues and students alike. Now, other than teaching, Barb does ABSOLUTELY nothing other than write about herself in her journal, taking care of her old ass kitty cat and lament the loss of her “special” friend Jennifer.Well, Sheba joins the staff at the school as the new art teacher and Barbara dedicates her attention to the newcomer, writing mean, bitter shit about her behavior and clothes.

Barbara helps Sheba with an impossible situation with two students and Sheba, being the grateful new teacher she is, invites her to have lunch with her family. Barbara becomes close to Sheba, but when she accidentally discovers that Sheba is having an affair with a fifteen year-old student, Barbara sees the chance to manipulate and get closer to Sheba, hiding the secret from the school headmaster.

Barbara’s cat Portia dies and despite her pleas for company, Sheba does not stay with Barbara in the veterinary office instead electing to go see her son Ben in his first school play. Barb does NOT like this one bit and begins plotting her revenge against Sheba, which creates a scandal and turmoil in their lives.

Throughout the entire movie, I was on my seat not knowing what was going to happen next. There were several of twists and turns that had me saying…”damn, these hoes can not be serious.” Plus, I love the way the Britons talk and interact with each other. That kept me entertained.

Anywho…Notes on a Scandal. Go cop that shit, son.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Awwww....Poor Thing

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Campaigning to become President of the United States has to be tougher and more arduous than anything anyone reading this has ever done. It’s a war of attrition out there. You spend two years stumping from state to state and hopping planes and buses for days and weeks at a time. That’s a really demanding thing to do.

Based on Senator John McCain’s recent gaffe, I think it’s safe to say the effects of this grueling process are now starting to rear their ugly little heads. Now, the easy thing to do here is to blame it on old age or his weary, feeble spirit. I’m not going to do that. I mean, who wouldn’t err by inadvertently calling the voters of Western Pennsylvania racist?

Some of you people expect too much from your presidential candidates. Geeze.

Anywhoo...I’m thankful -- for Sen. McCain’s own good -- that this thing is almost over for him. Soon he can head back to Arizona and rest his tired little soul.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Question of the Day

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How soon is too soon to make a move on someone you're familiar enough with to know they just got out of a relationship?

By "make a move on", I mean try to fuck and by "familiar enough with", I mean you dated them for two years. I wanted to be sure to clarify in case there were questions. This situation leaves little room for grey area.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Sen. McCain has no wig left to snatch, so Keith Olbermann just ripped him a new asshole.

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I'm not a MSNBC fan, but I saw this and just got to post this. Keith Olbermann is clearly fed up with John McCain playing little reindeer games of late and is NOT having any more of his shinanigans.

The highlight of the clip, for me, had to be this line:

"Senator McCain, YOUR supporters at YOUR events are calling Obama a terrorist and a traitor and are calling for him to be killed. And yet, you keep bringing back these same rampant, right-wing nuts to deliberately stir these crowds into frenzy. Then, you take offense when someone who remembers the violence of our political past calls you on it. You, sir, are responsible for a phalanx of individuals who are shouting fire in a crowded theater.

There are some things to respect and honor about you, Senator McCain, but on this you are not only a fraud, sir, but you are tacitly inciting lunatics to violence."

Oooooooooo Weeeeeeeeee!!!! Olbermann betta use 'phalanx' and 'tacitly' in the same breath.

If McCain wasn't wearing Depends before, he better stop at CVS and pick up a pair cus Mr. Olbermann just gave him a new hole.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

"Racism is still alive, they just be concealing it." (c) Kanye West

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Random Ish For You Bitches

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A New Leaf

An ex of mine and I have become increasingly "friendly" over the last few weeks. We've been talking almost daily on the telephone and sending flirty (read: borderline X-rated) text messages back-and-forth at work.

On Saturday night, I was lonely and wanted company. In a rather raunchy way, I told him I needed to see him...real bad. Even though it was 2 o'clock in the morning when I invited him out, he agreed to come to, you know, watch a movie. As if anyone leaves their bed in their house at 2am to drive 40 mins just to watch a movie especially after the freak nasty shit was writing in those damn texts.

In the end, though, I took my cue from Sarah Palin and said thanks, but no thanks to that sex to nowhere. And with that, I turned over, jacked my shit and went to bed. As much as I want him, he has a guy and this new leaf I've turned over just won't allow that. He hit me up last night asking if I had plans and if he could come over. Even though I was free, I told him I had some errands to run and would have to take a rain check.

Damn this fucking new leaf. Damn it straight to hell.


If I haven't written on this blog before about how much I ADORE the movie Hairspray, then I've been meaning to. It's definitely something I'd recommend to anyone looking for a good time.

I'm actually going to see the play on at Neil Diamond Theater on 52nd in New York in a couple of weeks.

I'll be honest, this isn't super pertinent information I'm posting here. Between us, I just wanted an excuse to post a vid of my FAVORITE scene/song from the movie.

Vote 2008

Regardless of your political affiliation, please remember to vote on November 4th. Although I have to admit, I'd MUCH rather you vote for the man pictured above.

Hilarious You Tube Clip of the Day

If you're into seeing fat people fall and make fools of themselves, then today is your lucky day.

Meet Scarlet, apparent aspiring singer and table destroyer. If her "singing" of some random "song" isn't funny enough, get ready to fall the fuck out at 2:50. This tumble is quite as funny as the dumbass grape smasher lady of local Atlanta news fame, but it's pretty damn good comedy.

Decisions, Decisions

I think I want a new tattoo. It's been too long since I got my last one and I've been meaning to get another one for awhile now, I just need to decide what I want and where i want it.

I bet you hoes ain't even know Mr. Jones was inked up to begin with. I bet you all thought I was too stuffy and conservative to have any tattoos. Stay on your toes.

**saunters out of this post singing "Tatted Up" by that Laffy Taffy group from a couple summers ago**

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sarah 'The Baracuda' Misquotes Madeleine Albright; Maddie Gets Palin Right The Hell Together

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I always envisioned life as a Vice Presidential candidate being tough: Long nights at the office preparing for speeches on foreign policy and the economy, intense brainstorming sessions to develop rousing topics for the next rally, working intently to carefully craft key words and catch phrases that will best resonate with voters.

Then, Sarah Palin came along.

Apparently, when you're a mavericky hockey mom from Alaska who likes palin' around with pitbulls in lipstick and shootin' moose from helicopters, you only have drink Starbucks coffee and wink -- a lot.

At a rally in California on Saturday, Palin offered a most curious argument (and supporting quote) for voting Republican this Fall. The Governor's most recent gaffe comes as she recalled a moment she experienced while enjoying her morning cup: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day... It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador.... Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"

Madeline Albright never said that though. The cup the Governor referenced (pictured above) actually reads, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help each other." Maddie made the statement in a different context, intended a different connotation, and had different, non-political intent. In a statement to The Huffington Post, she let Ms. Baracuda have it:

"Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."

Ms. Albright may have tightened Palin's leash and reapplied her lipstick, but I'm not so sure the Alaska Governor should be dispatched so quickly. Maybe she's on to something. I mean, why shouldn't we damn people who refuse to do what we want them to do to hell?

In fact, I was so overcome with a bi-partisan spirit that I decided to compile my own list of people for whom special a special place in hell is reserved.

There's a special place in hell reserved for:

- Coworkers who don't make sure all their gunk is cleared from the toilet bowl before exiting the office bathroom.

- Stupid people who walk around with BlueTooth earpieces in even when they aren't talking.

- Women and/or men who wear UGG boots and Crocs (sorry Royce).

- Fools who talk on Nextel/Boost chirps loudly in public.

- Dumbass drivers who block the crosswalk with their cars at traffic lights.

- Delusional fat people who wear clothes that don't fit them properly.

- Each of my ex's who spited me.

I could go on, but I think you get my drift. Feel free to add on to this in you comments. The Governor would be proud.

Bill O'Reilly Is STILL A Damn Mess

Bill is at it again. This time it is Congressman Barney Frank who is on the receiving end of one of O'Reilly's infamous and ridiculous tirades. I really have no idea why people still continue to sign up as guests for The Factor.

As an aside, was I the only was slightly disappointed that Barney was the first guy in Congress to openly admit to being gay? I mean, the guy is such a caricature. We couldn't have gotten someone a little more cool and distinguished? Like, I dunno, Barack Obama. Maybe it's just me.'s the vid.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Model Murderer?: Target Ad's Ray Armstrong Charged In Killing

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Philadelphia-area model Ray Armstrong has been charged with murder. If you’re anything like me the name –- or his face for that matter –- doesn’t ring a bell, but I’d recognize those abs, pecs and arms anywhere. This is the cat that was recently featured in this Target print ad campaign that prominently hung above Times Square throughout this year’s Summer Olympics.

With all due respect to the dead, something about the back story just isn’t adding up to me. It just seems to be missing some key details.

According to this very curious article, the victim, 37-year old Anthony Williams, “photographed, befriended, helped and sometimes housed” the 31-year old model. Armstrong went to the victim’s house that fateful night because his girlfriend kicked him out and he needed a place to stay. Williams turned Armstrong away and told him he wouldn’t let him live there again. Witnesses reported that Armstrong, who was high out of his mind off a blunt dipped in formaldehyde, wasn’t trying to take no for an answer, became irate and started kicking in his own car windows.

This is where the story starts to get fishy.

After initially turning him away, the victim allowed Armstrong into the house to “snap his friend back to reality.” A few minutes went by and the wet and naked model re-emerged outside, laid down on the ground and prayed until a neighbor approached him. He admitted to the neighbor that he had killed Anthony Williams. The police were called and whisked him off to jail where he currently sits awaiting his prelim trial.

**takes off specs and prepares editorial**

This SCREAMED lover’s quarrel from the moment I read the headline. PLEASE get into the storyline:

Older man befriends young, attractive model who, for drama’s sake, also happens to abuse drugs. Older man looks after said model, allows him to live with him at times and photographs him on occasion. Young, attractive model has spat with girlfriend and turns to older man for comfort and a place to rest his head. Older man initially turns young model away, but invites him in for a cold shower to “snap him back to [a sober] reality”. After several minutes of shouting, the young model comes back outside dripping wet and naked, falls to the ground and admits to killing older man.

If that doesn’t have ‘LOGO Feature Presentation’ written all over it, then I don’t know what does.

I can't really say that I'd let even my closet friends into my home after seeing them high off more than weed and kicking in windshields and shit. I'd call for help, no doubt, but as far as me offering a cold shower in my bathroom...oh, no ma'am. Maybe that's just me. What I really want to know is if the victim turned Armstrong away because he tired of being a stop on the train back to Pussytown. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

On a serious note, this is really unforunate. Obviously, it's sad that a life was lost, but Armstrong seemed like he was well on his way. He had signed with a major agency, he had the Target print ad thing going for him and he was also pushing an exercise DVD series. Now, he’s resigned to being fresh meat on the yard. The whole murderer thing aside, you have to feel a little sorry for the guy. We all know what they do to PYTs in the clink. For his own good, he betta not drop that soap.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

You Play To Win The Game

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On my way home from work yesterday, I stopped to met this guy that I had lost contact with for what initially was supposed to be coffee, but somehow developed into a full-blown dinner. Anyway, he started asking about how things were going with me, what I had been up to and, of course, if I was seeing anyone. The latter part of his inquisition drew a demonstrative eye roll.

I told him that I was settling into a new job, which is going well. He then asked what I do. After explaining my responsibilities, I half-jokingly said that on top of doing all that I’m playing the game you have to master when you’re trying to get ahead. He asked me to clarify my statement. I explained that the game involves playing nice in the sandbox with the other kids. You know, asking people about their weekend even if you really don’t give a damn, engaging folks at the water cooler or at the copier when you really don't feel like being bothered, thanking your boss for assigning you additional projects even when you don't feel like doing what's already due, etc.

He reared back in his chair and shot me a disgusted look. He blasted me for what he called ”shucking and jiving”. He said he didn’t engage in office politics because he didn’t need to. His resume, he said, speaks for himself. He went on to remind me that he went to Georgetown, has a Masters from Cal and was a Fulbright Scholar. Suddenly, I remembered why I stopped talking to his pompous ass.

I told him that none of that matters if people don’t like you. You can be as credentialed as you want to be, but you’ll be fighting an uphill battle without having the right people in your corner. The old adage still holds very true: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. I’ve seen it first-hand in my short time as a professional. Corporate America is a VERY incestuous place. People scratch the backs of those who they know and like and it’s usually the reclusive and/or foolish ones who think otherwise. The conversation ended by us agreeing to disagree. It was obvious that he had his way of doing things, I had mine, and we were getting absolutely nowhere fast by belaboring the point.

As I approached the office building this morning, I grabbed my little invisible controller and pressed ‘start’. I ran into a co-worker in the kitchen and talked to him about his jog last night. I joked with my boss about a comment she made yesterday about her daughter’s new husband. I asked one of the Directors who had left early Monday after falling ill if he was feeling any better. Giving off the appearance of being warm and personable certainly can’t hurt. So far, it's worked for me. I'm playing to win this game.

The Country Cunt

It's been quite some time since I've brought you hoes a You Tube clip. I'm over here dying in this little cubicle of mine. The ridiculousness is killing me!

Does she remind you of Khia or does she remind you of Khia?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Fleshlights: Yay or Nay?

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I know this is REALLY random, but just bear with me.

Pardon the pun, but I've been thinking long and hard about actually ordering one of these things. I consulted Blaq-N-Mild on this and he "claims" that toys are weird to him. I told him that I don't consider this a toy. In my mind it's a jerk-off enhancer.

What say you? Would you give it a whorl?

Race and Gen Y: Are We Colorblind?

I'll probably come back and write something of my own later today, but I want to give this piece I read in today's B Paper, a free daily handed out every morning at downtown train stations and on street corners, some shine. It's part of a larger feature in which four young Black folk were asked to weigh in on race in the day and age of Obama.

This particular article was written by R. Darryl Foxworth -- or simply Rodney as I knew him in high school -- a freelance writer whose work has been featured in Baltimore Magazine, The City Paper, The Baltimore Sun and other local print media.

Hope you enjoy!


R. Darryl Foxworth, 24
Sales Representative, Laureate Education Inc.

“You’re a cool black guy, not some n*gga.”

I was enjoying the company of mostly young, white suburbanites when a young white gentleman described me as a cool black guy, as opposed to being the n-word. A sound of silence surrounded me. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was only slightly shocked that the racial epithet had been used in polite company.

It was not the first time a derogatory term was directed toward me. The irony here was that this young man thought he was complimenting me — as if I should be enthused that some random white guy considered me articulate and, I suppose, well-mannered.

I had been prepared my entire life for this moment. His comment came as no surprise because he had merely met my expectations. Does this suggest that I expect every white male to launch into racist, demeaning diatribe? No. Nor am I surprised if and when they do — anti-black racism should come as no surprise to anyone.

Despite the fact that I have maintained primarily interracial friendships over the years, I continue to be skeptical of the majority of white people. This skepticism is fueled by the experiences of the generations preceding me, and my own day-to-day observations.

For me, the idea of a colorblind society — particularly a colorblind Generation Y — is implausible.
Certainly, Generation Y appears to be more culturally diverse and, to some extent, less segregated than prior generations. But colorblind?

Perhaps we are more tolerant and more willing to engage in interracial relationships — platonic and otherwise — but to suggest that we have overcome the barriers imposed by socially constructed race difference is plainly fantastical.

I acknowledge my own color-consciousness. How can I not notice that I am one of the few black faces in the room — often times the only black face? Several white peers have jokingly referred to me as their lone black friend. I imagine that a chorus of self-congratulatory cheers erupts.

If they are color-conscious in regards to me, they should note the racial balkanization of our classrooms or the overwhelming number of black men in prison. But sadly, they are not.

This form of colorblindness is nothing to applaud — in the end it amounts to ignorance, something we should never hope to achieve.

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Low Down On The Vice Presidency and Last Night's Debate

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During the campaign a Vice President is expected to support his or her principle at the top of the ticket and be a good running mate. Outside of that, much of what the Vice President does is very up-in-the-air. According to the U.S. Constitution, the VP is responsible for is presiding over the Senate, breaking a tie vote and hang around in case something happens to the boss. What VPs do often depends on who they are though.
  • Dick Chaney put real power into the job: major influence on the President and policy, in charge in the hours after the 9/11 attacks, he argued for going to war in Iraq and has been a hawk in the campaign on the war on terrorism.

  • Al Gore played a softer role -- more partner than power center -- and got big projects like re-inventing government and the internet, apparently.

  • Dan Quayle never got from under the shadow of doubt as he was inexperienced and unprepared.

  • The first George Bush had plenty of experience and weekly lunches with Reagan, but no one ever suggested that he made policy or wielded influence.
That leaves us where we are today. Joe Biden picked for his experience, clout in Congress and foreign policy expertise. Sarah Palin for her energy, conservative core, and dedication to reform. We got some really interesting clues last night as to what each candidate sees the job as being if they're there.

Sarah Palin said she will be working hard to be the point person on several issues: energy, the reform agenda, families and children with special needs. Joe Biden interestingly said he would be the legislative point man, that means getting stuff done in Washington and in Congress. Biden said he has talked it over with Obama and he will be in the room on every major decision.

During the primary campaign a lot of people were wondering if maybe the next Vice President would also be the Secretary of State or Secretary of Defense. Joe Biden last night said Barack Obama asked him if he wanted a portfolio. Biden said no, but it still seems unlikely the next Vice President will play a traditional role. We have passed the role of the Vice President simply sitting in the wings: the issues are too big, the egos are too big and the need for power is too significant; however, both of these candidates have been chosen for a reason.

This is probably more dangerous with Palin considering her relative lack of experience, but her profile on the McCain campaign, where she connects with voters, and her potential clout if she were to find her way to Washington is probably such that John McCain would seemingly find something creative and different for her to do.

After yesterday's debate, it's safe to say the next Vice President will not be the next Dan Quayle. Neither of those candidates is willing to simply wait in the wings.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

John Legend - Green Light

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I know this song has been out for quite some time now, but I cannot stop watching this video. This is how you throw a party!

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