I always envisioned life as a Vice Presidential candidate being tough: Long nights at the office preparing for speeches on foreign policy and the economy, intense brainstorming sessions to develop rousing topics for the next rally, working intently to carefully craft key words and catch phrases that will best resonate with voters.
Then, Sarah Palin came along.
Apparently, when you're a mavericky hockey mom from Alaska who likes palin' around with pitbulls in lipstick and shootin' moose from helicopters, you only have drink Starbucks coffee and wink -- a lot.
At a rally in California on Saturday, Palin offered a most curious argument (and supporting quote) for voting Republican this Fall. The Governor's most recent gaffe comes as she recalled a moment she experienced while enjoying her morning cup: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day... It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador.... Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"
Madeline Albright never said that though. The cup the Governor referenced (pictured above) actually reads, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help each other." Maddie made the statement in a different context, intended a different connotation, and had different, non-political intent. In a statement to The Huffington Post, she let Ms. Baracuda have it:
"Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."
Ms. Albright may have tightened Palin's leash and reapplied her lipstick, but I'm not so sure the Alaska Governor should be dispatched so quickly. Maybe she's on to something. I mean, why shouldn't we damn people who refuse to do what we want them to do to hell?
In fact, I was so overcome with a bi-partisan spirit that I decided to compile my own list of people for whom special a special place in hell is reserved.
There's a special place in hell reserved for:
- Coworkers who don't make sure all their gunk is cleared from the toilet bowl before exiting the office bathroom.
- Stupid people who walk around with BlueTooth earpieces in even when they aren't talking.
- Women and/or men who wear UGG boots and Crocs (sorry Royce).
- Fools who talk on Nextel/Boost chirps loudly in public.
- Dumbass drivers who block the crosswalk with their cars at traffic lights.
- Delusional fat people who wear clothes that don't fit them properly.
- Each of my ex's who spited me.
I could go on, but I think you get my drift. Feel free to add on to this in you comments. The Governor would be proud.