Saturday, January 31, 2009

Cutting The [Economic] Fat To Survive

Saturday, January 31, 2009 9

This shitty economy bullshit is for the birds. Whether it's a high electric bill or higher food costs, everyone is being affected by this mess. Because I don't foresee myself having the opportunity to gravel before Congress and receive a piece of not-so-humble pie, I had to take matters in my own hands.

Below are some financial changes I've made to keep myself afloat.
  • No more upscale bottled water. Although Voss and Fiji are both very crisp and refreshing, I consider them to be luxury goods now and purchase them sparingly.

  • I take the Metro much more often. I never really took the train before gas spiked this past summer and I never stopped when the price decreased this fall/winter.

  • I rarely eat/order out now. I used to eat/order out at least 10-15 times per month. Now, its more like 3-4.

  • I've developed a new financial motto: "Just because I can doesn't mean that I should."

  • Happy hours have been all but eliminated from my life. If I do decide to go to a bar, I always ask for those specials first and eat lightly throughout the day to make such the 1 or 2 drinks I decide to order pack a punch.

  • I don't by clothes like I used to. I picked up a couple pieces and a couple pair of shoes last week because I needed those things. And most everything I bought was from end of season sales. I do allow myself treats, but they have to be really practical as well or at the very least fulfill some need. In other words...goodbye, Ralph Lauren and J. Crew. Hello, Filene's Basement.

  • I don't randomly drive from Baltimore to DC or anywhere else for that matter just to party or chill.

  • I joined a cheaper gym. When I switched jobs, I never joined a new gym. For a second I was considering joining this nice ass gym across the street from my office, but it costs $100/month. Mine costs $35.

  • No more $70 nights at Pazo. I haven't been there since September.

  • I always take my lunch to work now and I always make in bulk. I've been working on the same spinach salad since Monday.

  • When I travel now, a 2.5/3 star room is just fine and an economy class plane ticket will do.
Those are some of many other changes I have made to to cutback.

What are some of the extras you've cut from your own financial diet?

I know it's a lil old, but this song makes me wanna grab a partner and grind against a flithy wall in a smokey homoclub somewhere in the ghetto.

No matter how hard Baltimore-native Mario Barrett tries, he's never going to be anyone's superstar. Despite his fantastic assets (click here and here to see the receipts), marginal popularity is really all he can hope for.

It's too bad for him, too. His music is always (usually?) pretty solid. Word on the street is (read: Mr. Jones thinks) he suffers from an awful illness doctors and industry specialists call "ILLNEVERBEREALLYFAMOUS-itis". I'm pretty sure he contracted it from Brandy.

Anywho, I wasn't into this at first, but I am now. It usually takes me awhile to accept trends. It's been stuck in my head for the last 3 days, so I listened to it. In the last hour alone I've listened to it no fewer than 12 times....consecutively. You all should seem me sluttin' it up in nothing but my boxers and some socks on in the middle of my floor. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about this song makes me wanna be naughty and get all mannish and shit, [qets myself]but in a sexy, classy, reserved way.[/right the hell together]

Music For Love - Mario

Friday, January 30, 2009

Lightening strikes twice in 2009: Michael Steele becomes first African-American ever to head the Republican National Committee.

Friday, January 30, 2009 11

Let's be clear here: This is a significant historical moment. I kinda wanna be cynical about former Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele just being appointed RNC Chairman. In reality, he's the first black man to ever hold this post. This is just as historic and groundbreaking as Barack Obama winning the Presidency. Now, we'll wait and see if the good ole' boy Steele's selection indicates true change in the way the GOP conducts its business or if he's simply a lawn jockey. I'm actually really interested in seeing how the media will present this.

Is this as significant to you as Barack Obama being elected President? Why or Why not?

Get that judgmental puss off and join in! Tell us who you'd ménage with.

Some celebrities seem like they'd make phenomenal lovers. Though I've mentioned my obsession with love for the Smiths and their open relationship here before, I'll do it again. I happen to believe Will and Jada are TOTAL freaks in the bedroom. I mean, we all know how Will gets down and Jada is CLEARLY an S&M dominatrix. I'd have my way with both of them if for no other reason than simply having the experience.

This leads me to today's People Poll question:

Which celebrity couple (current or former) would you have a threesome with?

Which celebrity couple (current or former) would you have a threesome with?
Will and Jada
Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)
Billary (Bill and Hillary Clinton)
Johnny Gill and Eddie Murphy
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey
Common and Serena
Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree
Bobby and Whitney
Tony Parker and Eva Longoria
Another couple tickles my fancy (leave a comment with your choice)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Kehinde Wiley

Thursday, January 29, 2009 5

Sometimes, I just like to give people a little shine on here. Consider this one of those times.

Blogger, meet Kehinde Wiley. Since seeing him television earlier this year, I have become slightly obsessed with Kehinde Wiley. He's a 32-year-old LA-born, but New York-based painter. Don't think Van Gough or Rembrandt or any classical artist for that matter. His stuff really has helped define our modern culture.

His process is fascinating; incorporating model perspective to draw a sharp contrast between classical and contemporary. There is SO much power in his work and raises many an interesting question about black masculinity in art, challenging perceptions of race, gender and urban culture. I love that he was educated in traditional art at San Fransisco Institute of Art and Yale, but isn't constrained by its historical context.

His stuff was actually on loan to the National Portrait Gallery in Washington as part of its contemporary art exhibit called RECOGNIZE!: Hip Hop and Contemporary Portraiture. The exhibit closed late-2008. I'm so pissed I missed it. I keep saying that I'm gonna mosey my way down there one of these weekends to visit the NPG, the Newseum and the Hirshhorn. I really need to get down there soon before more good shit disappears.

Here's more about him and some of his pieces from the National Portrait Gallery's website:
"For most of Kehinde Wiley’s very successful career, he has created large, vibrant, highly patterned paintings of young African American men wearing the latest in hip hop street fashion. The theatrical poses and objects in the portraits are based on well-known images of powerful figures drawn from seventeenth- through nineteenth-century Western art. Pictorially, Wiley gives the authority of those historical sitters to his twenty-first-century subjects. In 2005, VH1 commissioned Wiley to paint portraits of the honorees for that year’s Hip Hop Honors program. Turning his aesthetic on end, he used his trademark references to older portraits to add legitimacy to paintings of this generation’s already powerful musical talents. In Wiley’s hands, Ice T channels Napoleon, and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five take on a seventeenth-century Dutch civic guard company."


Three Graces
Kehinde Wiley, 2005
Oil and enamel on canvas
182.9 x 423.8 cm (72 x 96 in)

Triple Portrait of Charles I
Kehinde Wiley, 2007
Oil and enamel on three canvases
Three stretchers each measuring: 182.9 x 91.4 cm (72 x 36 in)

Big Daddy Kane
Kehinde Wiley, 2005
Oil on canvas
243.8 x 182.9 cm (96 x 72 in)

Ice T
Kehinde Wiley, 2005
Oil on canvas
243.8 x 182.9 cm (96 x 72 in)

LL Cool J
Kehinde Wiley, 2005
Oil on canvas
243.8 x 182.9 cm (96 x 72 in)

Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Kehinde Wiley, 2005
Oil on canvas
182.9 x 243.8 cm (72 x 96 in)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The best Ginuwine has EVER looked and T.I.'s Overgrown Bush

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 23
These are promo pics for Ginuwine's soon-to-be-released album. I don't know what it's called or when it's dropping and I don't care. He looks waaaaaaaaaay better than he did his first and second tries.

I'm really glad he gained a little weight. It makes his cheekbones softer. Those things were a little too Mt. Rushmore-esque for my liking. I'm glad retired that baby hair. Looks like he's still holding onto that texturizer though.


File this under T. [M.] I.

The litter of thirsty broads pictured below at a recent T.I. concert in Las Vegas got an up close and personal view of the rapper's, ahem, nether region. Word on the street is TIP's nasty ass took off his shirt, wiped down his nasty, smelly, sweaty hairy balls with the shirt, then threw the dirty shirt into the crowd. A scrum ensued, tacky ghetto bitches battled to the death and to the victor went the soiled.

Yikes! @ him having a jungle down there. Somebody need to tell this little nigga that nobody Little Bunny Foo Foo doesn't like searching through grass to get a carrot. And double yikes! @ how thin T.I. is. Would it kill him to eat a few cheeseburgers every now and then? He has the body of a pre-pubescent teen. Somebody needs to tell him the emaciated look went out when South Africans were freed from apartheid.

And all along I thought we just got rid of Bush.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

This is morbid.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 2
Polish man streams his suicide on Internet
UPDATED: 11:50 AM EST 01.27.09
Police were investigating after a young Polish man streamed his suicide live over an Internet chat site, reports said Tuesday.

Prosecutors in the southeast Poland town of Zargorz said the man logged onto Web site on Sunday before hanging himself in front of a camera, Agence France-Presse news agency said.

"One Internet user witnessing the act immediately alerted police, but officers who arrived on the scene found the man's corpse hanging from a pipe," local prosecutor Wieslaw Klaczak told AFP.

Another official, Tadeusz Halas, said the man had earlier been drinking with friends to celebrate his 27th birthday, reported.

"He told them he had prepared a surprise for his birthday but they said he seemed very strange and depressed," Halas said.

He said the man's parents had been sleeping in another room of the apartment at the time of his death.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Queen of Soul (Food) Unhappy with Performance at Inauguration

Sunday, January 25, 2009 17

Wearing the most ridiculous hat I've ever seen, Aretha Franklin performed an absolutely brutal rendition of "My Country 'Tis of Thee" at last week's presidential swearing-in ceremony. The famed singer recently sat with CNN's Larry King and explained that she was ecstatic to participate, but was not happy with her performance. After taking a second look at the footage I can see why.

Here's what Aretha had to say in her own words:

King: One thing, with your magnificent voice, is it hard to sing outdoors?

Franklin: It depends on the temperature. Yesterday, Mother Nature was not very kind to me. I'm going to deal with her when I get home. It, by no means, was my standard. I was not happy with it, but I just feel blessed because it could have been five above zero or five below zero like it is in Detroit.

I was still blessed to be able to pretty much just sing the melody, but I wasn't happy with it, of course.

King: It was great to listen to.

Franklin: I was delighted and thrilled to be there. That was the most important thing, not so much the performance, but just to be there and to see this great man go into office -- the promise of tomorrow coming to pass.
At least she's honest after all these years. Oh, and good for her for being able to put a poor performance aside and still appreciate the honor and the moment. If you're interested, here's video of the Larry King interview:

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I know this is personal, but...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 29

"It's a fantasy, I can masturbate to whomever I like; it's imagination.
It's fun and perfectly healthy."

(c) Samantha Jones, SATC, Season 4, Episode 1


How often do you masturbate?

The other day while masturbating I wondered if I jacked off as often as the average male or if I fall elsewhere on the bell curve. I decided to do a poll. I'm in the 2-5 times per week category, btw.

As an aside, I wonder how often women masturbate. It seems like such a chore. All those layers and holes and such. It's all just too much. I'm glad I'm a man. I get hard, I do the do, I get soft. The end.

How often do you masturbate?
1 time per week or less
2-5 times per week
6-10 times per week
More than 10 times per week
Every chance I get

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Obamas

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 3

I love the first family.

I love that despite being Mr. President to the rest of the free world, he's still Barack to Michelle and Dad in an overcoat to the girls. I love his story. I love his aloofness, his cool. I love that he has a sense of humor, but can be professorial, too.

I love Michelle. I'm really starting to adore her. In my mind she's making her way up there with the impeccable Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. I love her style. I think she's stunning. I love how she and her husband have tried to make the girls' lives as regular/normal as they can be. I LOVE that she shops at J. Crew. I love that she dresses the girls in Crew Cuts.

I love the girls. Those are my little lamb chops. I love that they go to Sidwell Friends.

I love that they're just a family that happens to be black, have a Mom as an attorney and hospital administrator and a Dad that happens to be the President.

This is one expensive ass party I'm helping to pay for.

To folks from out-of-town, the pomp, circumstance and history going on in DC right now is cute and all, but those of use who live in the urrrea will probably be a little salty when we realize that Obama and friends are running thru BOTH our pockets to help pay for this celebration. We all knew that he was tapping into our federal piggy bank to pay, I read yesterday that taxpayers in DC, Maryland and Virginia are shelling out $75 million via their local governments to cover costs operational costs.

Estimates are the total costs for Obama's inauguration could reach $170 million. Obama has raised an estimated $40 million to help cover the costs of little things like the train ride from Philadelphia to Washington on Saturday and that star-studded concert with U2, Be-yawn-ce, Bruce Springsteen and others on Sunday, there's also the actual swearing in ceremony which is pretty cheap by comparison at about $1.25 million for that. There are 10 official inaugural balls, not to mention the cost of all the extra security. Oh, and those 5,000 port-a-potties lining the National Mall.

Four years ago democrats cautioned President Bush about an extravagant inauguration calling it inappropriate during a "time of war". Well, four years later the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue, the unemployment rate is the worst we've seen since 1945, consumer confidence is down, the stock market is down, companies announcing daily they're laying off people, closing stores or going out of business all together, but not a peep out of the Democrats about the Obama inauguration. I'm fairly certain it's because he's one of theirs.

If you wanna lose your appetites for lunch consider this: the biggest donors for the inaugural festivities are the recently bailed out Wall Streeters.

So, here's the question: Given the US's sour economy, do you take issue with Obama’s extravagant inauguration celebration or think it sends the wrong message?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Just got in from Obama's speech in Baltimore

Saturday, January 17, 2009 2
I came wearing more layers than Muslim woman in Afghanistan, I saw the President-elect (Michelle, Joe and Jill were present, too) and I conquered Obama's Whistle-Stop Tour event in Baltimore today.

Although I enjoyed my time standing on line [from 11am 'til 5pm] in the well below freezing weather [19-degrees when Obama arrived] with the other 40,000 people who braved the elements to attend today's event, I'm thrilled to be inside.

I'm too tired -- and frozen -- to write anything of note right now. I'm about to curl up, drink this hot cocoa and try to thaw. With my own camera, I took nearly 100 pics today and hope to have them posted by Monday. I would say I'll have it done tomorrow, but my Ravens play Pittsburgh tomorrow in the AFC Championship Game for the right to advance to Super Bowl and I don't want to make any promises I know I'm not gonna keep.

Until I muster up the strength to post my own thoughts and pics, I'll leave you with these shots snapped by the Baltimore Sun.

Obama's 01/17/09 Speech in Baltimore

Friday, January 16, 2009

I've Got A (Cold) Date With Obama in Baltimore Tomorrow

Friday, January 16, 2009 4

Who: President-elect Barack Obama
What: Whistle-Stop Tour for Ordinary Americans
Where: War Memorial Plaza, Downtown Baltimore
When: Saturday, January 17, 2009, 4pm

I told you all in December that I'm not foolin with D.C. on 1/20 and I meant it. The inaugural balls are tooooo expensive (in any economy, but especially the current one), the swearing-in ceremony requires tough-to-get tickets that I couldn't get from my elected officials, the MARC -- the commuter train service that connects Bmore and DC -- has been sold out for weeks and on top of it all it's REALLY, REALLY cold outside. I'm just not doing it. Period.

Luckily, for me at least, the inaugural committee, by concocting this Whistle-Stop Tour for Ordinary Americans Obama is doing in Philadelphia and Baltimore en route to Washington, will allow me to get my fill of Obama without much drama.

Don't get me wrong, this will be no walk in the park:
  • "It's gonna be maaaad crowded", says our splendiferously ghetto (and allegedly criminal) Mayor Sheila Dixon. Ok, that's not a direct quote but her office did announce that the city is expecting 150,000 people downtown for this event.

  • It's been cold as fuck all week. This morning when I came to work it was 12-degrees outside. It will still be plenty cold as temps are expected to be in the teens when his train arrives at Baltimore's Penn Station.

  • There will still be hours of standing and waiting. My friends and I are planning to be downtown around 11:30am to wait for Obeezy's arrival scheduled for 4pm. We don't wanna be relegated to the overflow area several blocks away at the Inner Harbor. If I wanted to see this on video monitors, I'd stay on my damn sofa.
In the end, I'll just be able to hop on the Metro to return home opposed to having to negotiate shitty DC traffic and a 45-minute drive back home and more importantly, I just can't bring myself to allow sub-freezing temperatures to interrupt my date with history.

So, tomorrow I'll be cold and tired and cold and frustrated and cold and tired of standing, but at least I'll have pictures and the memories of a truly historic event to keep me warm.

I'm excited. This is exciting. Obama's coming! Yay!!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

Thursday, January 15, 2009 9
Question of the Day:

If you had to give up either the Internet or Television forever, which would you choose and why?

This, for me, is too easy. I would give up TV in a heartbeat. Not for nothing, but other than CNN, ESPN and shows I like to catch here and there, there's really nothing else to watch on TV. There have been several nights when I turn on the TV and even with DirecTV and its 400-500 channels there ain't shit to watch other than what I have saved on Tivo. With the internet I can watch movies, my favorite shows, shop, Wikipedia random shit, watch porn, talk to my friends and I'd only have one bill to boot!

If force to choose, which would you pick?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Bunch Of Random Reposts From 2007

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 5
Last night, I had nothing else better to do had a bit of time to myself last night, so I decided to read a bunch of the stuff I wrote when I first started this blog back in April 2007. Just to, you know, see where my head was at during that time.

The following is random shit from old posts circa 2007 I still think is funny.

April 29, 2007 - Berries and Cream

OMG. I'm so glad I found this. I used to love this commercial. I've already watched it like 10 between last night when I re-discovered it and today. Make that 11.

Random Musings - May, 31, 2007

I remember these snooty bitches like it was yesterday. Two fairly young post-college white girls. They had this little exchange as I was folding clothes over by women's suits when I worked at J. Crew part-time in '07.
Girl #1: OMG, did you hear about what happened to Liza? Her house burned down and she’s staying in a Red Cross shelter.

Girl #2: Yeah, I feel really badly for her. I heard the office was taking a collection for her and her family.

Girl #1: I heard. I decided not to give though. (hold up a $250 cashmere cardigan) I don’t have extra money.

Me: (Looks up at her)

Girl #2: I know what you mean. People get themselves into situations and expect others to bail them out.

Me: (Looks at her)

Girl #2: (to me) It’s the truth.

Me: (Stares silently. Continues folding)

Girl #1: Now I feel bad.

Girl #2: I don’t. Isn’t there a Banana Republic nearby?

June 27, 2007 - News Article

I used to post a lot of random new articles, but you hoes would never comment on them. Here's one from June 2007. I remember reading this in The Sun and thinking it would be a terrible thing for smokers in the area. The next day my guy called to let me know he had a new order in.

I wonder whatever became of this motley crew. LOL @ them speeding and getting caught with all this shit.

Police find 42 lbs. of marijuana in traffic stop
Two men were transporting drugs from New York City to Washington, police say

By Liz Kay
Baltimore Sun Reporter
Originally published June 27, 2007, 6:24 AM EDT

Maryland Transportation Authority police arrested two men yesterday after police said they discovered nearly 42 pounds of marijuana in their station wagon during a routine traffic stop on Interstate 95 in Baltimore County.

A police officer stopped the driver of a 2006 Dodge Magnum south of White Marsh for speeding and following too closely, the authority said in a statement.

Raymond A. Sharpe, 25, of Lithonia, Ga., and Dewight Antwain Stephens, 26, of Hallendale, Fla., were charged with possession of marijuana and other charges, according to the release.

The two, who police said were transporting drugs from New York City to Washington, were being held on $100,000 bail at the Baltimore County Detention Center, according to the statement.

June 20 2007 - Bushisms

These need no introductions. Prepare to laugh -- and cry.

  • "Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."

  • "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."

  • "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

  • "They misunderestimated me."

  • "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"

  • "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."

  • "I'm the master of low expectations."

  • "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."

  • "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."

  • "I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."

July 9th 2007
Ma'am, do not count to 10...beat your kids!

Apparently, this happened while I was in Whole Foods once. I don't remember it, but given the abundance of soccer moms at the Whole Foods near my old office, I don't doubt it.
Girl: (crying loudly)

Mom: Stop it! Stop it this instant!

Girl: (still crying) I WANT A COOKIE!!!!!!

Mom: I offered you options and you chose not to make a decision. You can hold onto the ice cream, ok? Let's go pay.

Girl: (falls limp on floor and starts crying more loudly)

Me: (completely bewildered and alternately staring blankly at the woman and the screaming child)

Mom: Get up Sarah. I'm not kidding.

Girl: I WANT A COOKIE!!!!!!!!!

Mom: Sarah, I'm gonna start counting.

Girl: (screaming)

Mom: 1-2-3-4...

September 24, 2007 - Chris Crocker's Crazy Ass

Random clips of You Tube celeb Chris Crocker. For a hot minute I thought he was the funniest thing every. Every fad has its day, I guess. He's a damn fool though.

November 28, 2007 - Taking matters into my own hands.

I don't know what the hell was going on with me in November 2007. I must've been going through a dry period or something. I can't think of any other reason I'd be researching radical masturbation techniques. Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever tried any of these. No time like the present, right?

Masturbation that Isn't Boring

Men have been masturbating basically since the dawn of time. In fact 99% of men masturbate, the other 1% lie about it. Although men and women both do it, men tend to think about it or plan it out more. Usually it is done in secret, maybe in the bathroom before work, or after the wife goes to bed. If you are lucky enough to live at home then you could masturbate all day long. Male Masturbation is usually about the final outcome, the intense pleasure that you know so well.

If you are getting bored with the basics of masturbation, then you should try some different male masturbation techniques. There are quite a few of them out there to give your hobby a new feel. One male masturbation technique that has been tried and enjoyed by man men is the Two Hands Full technique. It is a motion that is similar to milking a cow, the idea is to keep the motion going continuously by taking one hand and moving up, and follow right behind it with the other hand. It keeps the foreskin and testicles all the way up all the time so you have constant pleasure. You should use lubricant because of the fast motion, and it does take some practice but when it is done correctly you may never go back to the regular way.

Another different male masturbation technique is the pole straddling technique. Place a small pole or a broomstick between your legs and hold it steady while you masturbate. Moving up and down with your hips, you will find that as you are about to ejaculate your anus actually hugs the pole giving you an almost unbearable sensation. Again, this is one that you will have to practice before perfecting. It is worth it though.

Male masturbating techniques come in many forms and with different objects that can be involved. Here are just a few of the others:
  • One Top, One Bottom – Hold the top of your head with one hand, while moving your other hand down towards your testicles.

  • Packing Tape Technique – Wrap tape around your fingers and lubricate it to receive a whole new feeling of excitement.

  • Wringing It Out – Although it may look strange and painful, it is quite pleasurable. Take your penis and wring it out like you would a washcloth. Start slowly and use lubrication to avoid friction.

  • Glass Ball Technique – Move to the end of the bed so your testicles hang off. Place a glass underneath and let your balls fall into a tight fitting glass. Ejaculate like you normally would, pushing the glass with your testicles in it up against your perineum for an ultimate orgasm.
Again, there are many variations of techniques that can be used. Take your time and find something you like. One very important male masturbation tip to follow is to try to use the stop and go method while master bating. Masturbate till you are just about to ejaculate and then stop for a few minutes, and then start again until you are right about to have your orgasm, and then stop again. By the time you reach the 3rd or 4th time your orgasm with be more intense and longer.

Male masturbation can be an exciting new adventure if you try different techniques. Don’t feel you have to stay with the same thing you did when you were 16 years old. Yes, it may feel good, but new techniques will feel unbelievable.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Matters of Race

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 9

As a black man, I often find myself thinking about race. It's almost like I feel defined by it.

Take this magazine cover featuring Lebron James and Gisele, for example. I took one look at this and IMMEDIATELY saw comparisons being drawn between Lebron and Tarzan (the ape-man that swings through trees) and Gisele and Jane (the pure white hoe he wanted for himself).

My thinking doesn't stop there. Sometimes, when I'm walking down the street and the white woman approaching me suddenly crosses, I wonder if crossing made her destination more convenient or if she fears the big black mean nigger in his big black nigger Northface wanted to club her, snatch her purse and take her snatch. I'm just sayin'...white people do and say some shit that makes you wonder sometimes.

A case in point is when I was in the lobby of a BWI hotel the other day. My job was hosting trainings there and in the middle of one of the sessions, I went to the lobby to buy a soda. The machines only took singles and I only had a five, so I had to go to the front desk to make my purchase.

I went to the counter at the front desk to buy a soda. I paid for my Diet Coke and as I turned to walk away, the front desk guy, who happened to be white, initiated this rather suspect exchange:
Me: Thank you.

White Front Desk Guy: Oh, by the way, we have some chilli here on this table that you're welcome to. The woman who does our breakfast made it for our guests.

Me: Oh, how nice. I'm fine though. Thanks. [turns to walk away]

WFDG: We ain't got no hot sauce though. I was lookin' for the hot sauce, too, man.

Me: [gives perplexed look and walks away]
Now...not for nothing, I said no because I didn't want the damn chili to begin with, not because I didn't see any hot sauce. I don't even use hot sauce like that. That's not my thing.

Did he try it or am I being racially sensitive? Is this guy really that into hot sauce that he felt the need to mention his craving for it or did he assume my black ass turned it down because I didn't see any on the table?

Was it odd that I was a little taken aback by that? Or, to add insult to injury, should he have just offered me some chicken and watermelon and a spot on the porch while he was at it?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sex Partners: What's That "Just Right" Number?

Monday, January 12, 2009 14

This is a very sensitive issue that you have to carefully handle, you know. Too few and you’re labeled green and inexperienced, too many and, well, frankly, you’re considered a smutted-out bust down.

If you define sex as somebodies you know what going in someone's you know where, then my number is somewhere between 20-25. Probably on the higher end if we’re being honest here. Sex, to me, does NOT include kissing or oral or mutual masturbation. That's like me saying I've visited St. Louis or Denver just because I had a layover in the airport. Sex is sex, not foreplay.

I think my range is just fine. 20-25 sexual partners would mean I’m averaging 4-5 per year since I turned 20. That’s not too bad considering my 20s is my sexual prime and I'm just at the halfway point.

But, enough about me. How many people have you been with sexually? How many people do you say you’ve been with sexually? How many sexual partners is too many? If you’re dating and someone who says they’ve been with 50 people sexually, is that a deal breaker for you? What about 40? 30? 10?

I was brave and published my number. Share yours, too. Join me on this journey. Take the plunge. Drink the Kool-Aid. Tell the world all your biz, son son.

How many sexual partners have you had?
I'm virgin like Mary.
More than 30
Jonesy, don't bother cus I don't know.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Adam 'Pacman' Jones: "I likeded scrip clubs"

Sunday, January 11, 2009 7

Pacman Jones is an absolute trainwreck. Like, there's really no other way to describe this fool. He went to WVU, so it makes perfect sense. After leaving West Virginia after his junior season in 2005, Adam Jones was suspended by the NFL for the entire 2007 season, traded to Dallas for a 4th round draft pick in the 2008 NFL Draft (lol @ that) and released by the Cowboys after one mediocre season.

Even if you aren't into sports you should watch this clip. In this video Professor Adam 'Pacman' Jones eloquently pontificates about being the innocent victim and his latest misfourtunes.
"Ummm, at the time, you know..uhhhh...scrip clubs is like regular clubs, but, you know, I haven't been in a scrip club in, what, 2 years, a year-and-a-half now...a year and...almost 3 years. Whatever it is, I haven't been to a scrip club since dat incident. I live and I learn, you know, I likeded scrip clubs."

(c) Adam 'Pacman' Jones

Is the honeymoon over already?

In 9 days, Barack Obama will be sworn in and for some people that date can't come quickly enough. He will be the 44th president of the United States. He has huge challenges in front of him, starting with the crumbling economy and those two wars President Bush has us in. Hopes are high that he will be able to turn things around. Indications are that he may be able to do just that.

According to a new Gallup poll, 65 percent of Americans are confident in President-elect Obama's ability to be a good president. This is down a little from 70 percent a week ago, but still pretty good.

Since returning from his Hawaii vacation, Obama has encountered a couple of bumps in the road: the situation in Gaza, which he stayed away from by deferring to President Bush, criticism of Leon Panetta as his choice to head the CIA, Bill Richardson having to withdraw his nomination for commerce secretary, and official statistics from the Congressional Budget Office that project a deficit of $1.2 trillion for this year -- all this before he's even moved into the Oval Office.

Keeping in mind everything facing the President-elect and based on how he's conducted himself, has your confidence in Barack Obama declined any since the election or is it about the same?

Has your confidence in Barack Obama declined any since the election or is it about the same?
I am as confident in Barack Obama now as I was before the election.

I am confident in Barack Obama, but I've had my doubts recently.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Ravens are kicking ass and taking names.

Saturday, January 10, 2009 3
Ravens still kicking after bruising win over top-seeded Titans
Late drive, Stover's 43-yard field goal lifts team to AFC title game

By Barry Wilner | The Baltimore Sun

8:30 PM EST, January 10, 2009

Ravens kicker Matt Stover (center) and teammates Daniel Wilcox (left) and Chris Chester celebrate Stover's 43-yard field goal with less than a minute remaining, which lifted the team to a 13-10 playoff win over the Tennessee Titans. (Baltimore Sun photo by Doug Kapustin / January 10, 2009)

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - As grudge matches go, this was worthy of the WWE. The Baltimore Ravens survived 13-10 against the Tennessee Titans on Saturday thanks to Matt Stover's 43-yard field goal with 53 seconds remaining.

Two teams with an extreme dislike for each other never stopped pounding it out in the wind and rain.

The difference: Baltimore forced three turnovers and never gave away the ball.

And when Joe Flacco led a 51-yard drive in the dying minutes to set up Stover's winning kick, the Ravens (13-5) were headed to the AFC championship game. Led by the first rookie quarterback to win two playoff games, the Ravens will play at Pittsburgh or San Diego next week for the right to go to the Super Bowl.

More after the jump.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I should avoid songs like this when I get all emo and shit, but I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess.

Friday, January 9, 2009 5


This is about being grown
Being mature
Being brave
Can you be brave

I'm emotional, you're emotional
Could be why we always argue
Our conversations short we can talk enough
Just become much to difficult
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to prove
This is more than me and so much more than you
We must make it through said you and I
I can't decide

I just can't decide
If it's you I want
Don't want to choose between having you in my life or losing you for real
Because I caught feelings (Are we falling in love with our fears?)
Because I've got feeling (yeah)
Feelings (I'm not afraid of the feelings babe)

I'm a stubborn girl, you're a stubborn guy
Could be why we fight all the time
If It's not your way, then It must be mine
Can't communicate, can't even compromise
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to prove
This is more than me and so much more than you
Can we make it through, you and I
I can't decide

I just can't decide (I can't decide)
If it's you i trust (trust babe)
Don't want to choose between (choose between)
Having you in my life or telling you goodbye
Because I caught feelings
Feelings (yeah)
Because I caught feelings...feelings

We have to die alone though
Because I caught feelings
So dramatic...

I just can't pretend that you're just a friend
We took it further
Passion still remains
Here we are again because we caught feelings
Because we caught feelings
I can't even believe were here
After all we been through

Feelings - Floetry

Thursday, January 8, 2009

How unforunate...and nasty.

Thursday, January 8, 2009 7

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Best $100 I've spent in a very long time.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 16

I was soooo anti- anything made by UGG until the white boys recently put me on to these. Like, I just didn't understand why women would wear those ridiculous Alaskan husky boots all the damn time. Now, I get it.

Initially, I thought, meh...UGGs simply CAN NOT be comfortable enough to compel me to pay $100 for a damn pair of slippers. Then, I tried them on. I damn near wore them out of Nordstrom.

When I wear these shoes it feels like the comfort gods are manufacturing tiny little comfort clouds made especially for me to walk on. If I could (read: if these weren't house shoes), I would wear these things everywhere I go and with everything I own regardless of color or style. That's how comfortable these are. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'll take them to my grave with me when I go as to be comfy cozy in my afterlife.

If you ain't got you a pair, you better get on it.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Uncle Sam, I like you my Mother's brother, but stay the hell out of my damn pockets!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 16

I'm so sick of fucking paying taxes. I know that's one of the constants in life you'll never be able to avoid, but FUCK THAT!!! I'm mad as hell right now!

I just walked down to the mailroom at the office and noticed our pay stubs were distributed. Because I get paid the exact same amount every pay, I usually just grab mine, throw the unopened envelope in my top left drawer here and let them pile up. I opened it this time because I wanted to know how much personal, vacation and sick time I've accrued cus I'm thinking about getting away for a bit in a few. That was mistake #1.

I just realized that Uncle Sam's greedy ass takes $508.53 in federal and state taxes , Social Security (that I'll NEVER recoup a effing dime of) and Medicare...every fucking pay.


I'm not sure why I did this cus all it did was piss me off even more, but I crunched some numbers. That was mistake #2

The government takes roughly 25% of what I make bi-weekly in taxes. In total -- and this is what REALLY grinded my gears -- $13,224.64 is snatched from me annually in taxes.

I now know what getting butt fucked against my will by some big nigga named 'Tiny' in cell block #8 at Comstock or Sing Sing feels like. :-(

Here's a thought, Federal (and State) Government, maybe Americans wouldn't need freaking stimulus package, handout bullshit every quarter if we were allowed to keep more of the damn money we actually earn!!!

**walks away maaaaaad salty and slams the door behind**

Monday, January 5, 2009

What's your take on this topic? Do they exist? Do they develop? Do you believe?

Monday, January 5, 2009 10


"Two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart and your dream house all you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you loved someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soulmate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this game show called 'Happily Ever After'? And as you move from age box to age box and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soulmate less and less? Soulmates: reality or torture device?"

(c) Carrie Bradshaw, SATC, Season 4, Episode 1

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Sean Paul, you had your run, but for you own good please give it up. At 35, you look a plum fool.

Thursday, January 1, 2009 11

Estelle has such an unfortunate face.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin