Thursday, February 19, 2009

**BREAKING NEWS** Mr. Jones Breaks Silence; Gives Take On Alleged Chris Brown/Rihanna Altercation

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Huge doesn't even begin to describe how big this post is. After days of remaining silent on this story [sarcasm] that has literally griped our nation, [/sarcasm] yours truly is FINALLY prepared to issue an official statement.

Before releasing this information I'm certain each of you have been anticipating with high anxiety, you all should know that getting me to touch this topic even with a 10-foot pole was a very, very difficult and daunting task. I have been contacted by several persons (read: like, two peeps) suggesting that it was time I offered my two cents on the matter. As a direct result of their diligence and hard work, I have finally decided to speak on the drama.

Brace yourself, America. This will undoubtedly be the most profound thing you read all day. My official stance on this issue is as follows:
"I don't give a sh*t about what's going on in these singers' lives just as they don't a sh*t about what's going on in mine. I'm sick of the mind-numbing discussions on the internet. I don't care to hear statements from Poppa Brown about how supposedly remorseful Baby Brown is, nor do I care to hear half-hearted, carefully scripted feigned apologies from the alleged assailant.

In the end, people really need to shut the f*ck up about this story until a district attorney indicts someone or at the very least releases actual facts surrounding these allegations."
So, there you have it. That's my take on this foolishness.

This situation reminds me of a RZA song I used to LOVE in the late-90s called "Domestic Violence". This song (and ghetto ass video) is nothing short of a cackle. Get into the lyrics below.

If behind doors Ri-Ri is ANYTHING like the sassy hoochie momma on this track, then I don't blame Chris Breezy one bit. [obligatory] If he actually did it, of course. [/obligatory]

RZA - Domestic Violence -

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

You ain't shit. Your daddy ain't shit.
Your brother ain't shit. Your money ain't shit.
Your lab ain't shit. Your rings ain't shit.
Your gear ain't shit. Your jewels ain't shit.
Your kicks ain't shit. Nigga, your whips ain't shit.
Bobby, you ain't shit. Nigga, I'm the shit.

[RZA] (Girl)
What the fuck y'all birds talking about?
Get the fuck out my house
'Fore I grab you by your hair and slap dick to your mouth
Bob Digi, yeah you know who is he
Girl, I fucking slave trade your ass like Kizzy Kinte
(But wait, fuck you motherfucker)
You wish you could fuck
Bitch, all you can do is dick suck
(Your ass can't fuck, that's why your wife left your monkey ass)
Fuck that, you don't cook, you don't clean, or press my jeans
You don't scrub or wash clothes
Or buy food in this bitch
You don't read to the seeds
All you do is watch tv and smoke weed
Get your nails done, feet scrubbed and hairweave
Sleep all day, eat, gain weight, can't breathe
Talking about you're going to leave?
Then bitch leave!
What the fuck you're waiting for?
Hit the door, I ain't taking this shit no more!
Spending all my cream on Gucci, Fendi and Coach
Before you moved to my lab, bitch, I ain't never seen a roach!
Stains on my carpet, bathroom smell like a fish market
Take all the space in my closet, where the fuck's your logic?
Disrespecting my old earth, aborted my child birth
And every day I catch my credit card inside your purse
You can't speak a sentence without a curse
Talking 'bout you're going to be a nurse
Bitch, to be a nurse you got to go to school first!
When I first met you, you was a hoe
I tried to reform you, bomb you, warn you and teach you
But couldn't reach you, and you're still a hoe
Your father said you was a hoe
And when you leave me, bitch you're gonna be a hoe
Celluloid and gargoyle feet, I'd rather beat my meat
That raggedy ass pussy a starving dog wouldn't eat
Started with the body of a model
Pussy tight as a pharmaceutical bottle
And you could swallow a whole avocado
And two forty ounce bottles
To the end of the world, which to I would follow
Now, when I fuck you, the shit echos 'cause you pussy is so hollow
Turn your fat ass sideways
Your stretch marks are like the US highways
Fuck a new nigga every Friday
Talking 'bout bust a nut, bitch I'll bust yo guts!
(You cum too quick nigga)
Wonder why I cum so quick?
With that wide ass pussy and soggy tits?
I'm trying to get the shit over with, and go to sleep!
But when I'm with my real freak on the weekend
Bet that baby we fuck for two and a half hours or three
You'd better study the 1-0-40 knowledge culture degree
About M-G-T, and G-C-C

'Cause you ain't shit, and your mother ain't shit
And your sister ain't shit, and your pussy ain't shit
That weave ain't shit, your ass ain't shit
Girl you ain't shit, your daddy ain't shit

[RZA and Girl]
But fuck it, yo
let me get this fucking phone
Yeah, get the motherfucking phone
Quit motherfuckers in our fucking
business. End the fuck, or I'll pull
the motherfucking chord out of the
Man, fuck that motherfucking socket.
Yo God, this bitch is bugging I'm sick of this shit motherfucker
Get the fuck out, I'm throwing
all the shit on the motherfucking
terrace, right now. I'm sick of
I'm on the phone! this shit, you and you shit out the
I'm on the phone! motherfucking closet right now. My
Well fuck you! My name's on the motherfucking lease too
Bitch, get the fuck out my nigga, I don't give a fuck, fuck that
house man shit, you get the fuck out my lab, all
these motherfuckers sleeping in the
fucking living room. My seeds run into
these motherfuckers, these niggaz are
Yo, hey Hewey, hey Hewey in their dirty motherfucking socks and
Fuck you, yo God, my bitch... shit. Fucking dirty toilet seats and
This bitch is stupid man shit. My seeds gotta sit on this shit.
Get these motherfuckers out this
Give this fucking crab ass motherfucking lab now. Get the fuck
girl the gas yo out. Every lat one of y'all mother-
You's a hoe bitch! fuckers. Get the fuck out my lab.
Come on you's a hoe!
you'se a hoe Motherfucker don't make me pick up
you'se a hoe this bottle. Don't make me pick up
you'se a hoe this motherfucking bottle.
you'se a hoe
hoe! hoe!
hoe! hoe! bastard! bastard!
hoe! hoe! bastard!
fuck you!
hoe! you fucking bastard!
hoe! bastard! bastard!
fuck you
Yo, yo, dunn, yo, yo, God
bastard! bastard! bastard!
She's stupid dunn you're fucking dirty dick nigga
Yeah you're fucking stupid nigga
You're fucking stupid
You're fucking stupid
We'll be back son Now that's right, tell that
We'll be back motherfucker to call you back
'cause you ain't going to stay on this motherfucking phone


PRIMO said...

Ive Been Thinking The Exact Same Thing. People Are Just blowing it up Bigger than it is. MTV even did a half hour special.


Ty said...

I concur

Dr.Friday said...


It really has gotten out of hand. I'm willing to bet that Oprah is already plotting a exclusive interview with both of them. That should be interesting.

LMAO @ that ghetto song.

Mr. Jones said...

Primo - Are you kidding me? MTV is worthless.

Ty - Hey, Mr. Aspire!

Herr Doctor - You know you like dis ghetto shit.

LOL @ Oprah being brought into the convo. Every time she's mentioned I can't help to think about her saying..."My va-jay-jay is painin'"

BPS 3.0 : Dallas said...

I agree so hard with you on this one. As you can see I didn't even touch the subject on my blog. Not to mention, I have been burnt before by people who claimed to be all innocent, I support them, and then I get my face cracked as they apologize for lying. Naw, if they aren't talking about the incident then neither will I. I have moved on. Besides I have better things to discuss than some kids who got busted having a fight that all kids get into all the time.

Mr. Jones said...

^You aint neva lied.

dickspot said...

The song is vulgar.

{{ I Know ! The POINT of the song is to be Vulgar. It succeeds........ the song is Vulgar. }}

MJ... ? (uplift us........)

Mr. Jones said...

^'s pretty vulgar, but whatcha want me to do?

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Hmmmmmm...nope, still don't care.


PRIMO said...

After Seeing That Picture Of her.... All I Can Say Is I feel Sorry For Her. I mean Wow. TMZ is so Scandalous!

fuzzy said...

ditto thoughts on CB and Rihanna! I really could care less!

Kyon Saucier said...

Well and please don't come for me guyz for this but it's just come out and is no longer a rumour that she told him she had given him heropes and that's why the fight started. She cheated on him and got herpes and then was like I got something to tell you.... I do not condone his actions in the least. That is a woman, but for real if my man told me some shit like that I'd give him a facial contusion too. You can't get rid of herpes...

Anonymous said...

Mr. Jones:

Your statement sums everything up perfectly. So many folks have an opinion about something they don't know anything about. That wack-ass Perez Hilton is the worst.


Well, considering that TMZ is basically a white version of Media Fake Out, is that picture of Rihanna after the "incident" even real? I hate to question its validity, but it seems that anything can be edited, photo-shopped, or altered these days to fit someone's agenda. Also, the media needs to stop sensationalizing C. Brown and Rihanna 24/7. I think I've heard multiple responses about this "incident" from everyone ranging from godmothers to Brown's estranged father. Who's the next to weigh in? The poolboys in Barbados and the highway patrol workers near Brown's Virginia hometown? Domestic abuse goes on every single day, and many people who could intervene stay out of it and let it continue. Sad.

deonte' k said...

LOL, I guess they got ur 2 cents huh?

clnmike said...

Lol interesting post.

Acoustic Soul said...

I'm with you. Who gives a shyt!

yet another black guy said...

Someone actually 'wrote' those lyrics...

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