Thursday, April 24, 2008

Did he or didn't he?

Thursday, April 24, 2008
Truths: #4, 7, 9, 10, 16, 17, 24, 25

Untruths I haven't done yet,
but would in a heartbeat:
2, 3, 5, 6, 12, 14!!!!, 19, 20, 23

I'm stealing this concept directly from the pages of La Bella Vita. I just want to get that clear from jump. I'm not nearly inventive enough to thinking this far outside the blogger box.

Below is a list of 25 things I may or may not have done in the month of April. It's your job to tell me what's truth and what's nothing more than a farce. In a couple of days (or until I'm no longer entertained by your trying to figure it out), I'll post an update with the correct answers.

I really want to see how naughty you hoes think I am. Have fun!

-----------------------------------------------

1 - Hosted a threesome.

2 - Feigned illness to go to Bulle Rock.

3 - Got ANOTHER tattoo.

4 - Cursed a cabbie in downtown Baltimore.

5 - Got kicked out of a bar for lewd and unruly behavior.

6 - Masturbated in a public park.

7 - Went on the worst date in my life.

8 - Had pretty good sex with a really cute girl.

9 - Kissed a blogger.

10 - Naturally cleansed my colon.

11 - Took ecstasy for the first time.

12 - Fed a hangover with more alcohol.

13 - Went to catholic mass and visited a Jewish synagogue on the same day.

14 - Had sex on the roof of an apartment building in midtown.

15 - Found the perfect apartment building.

16 - Volunteered at the Maryland Food Bank and prepared dinner for and served a group of homeless folk.

17 - Celebrated 4/20 on a pier overlooking the Baltimore skyline with two really fantastic people.

18 - Went to church directly from the club...tipsy and all.

19 - Had sex with an EX.

20 - Randomly hooked up with a club goer in Seattle.

21 - Celebrated a birthday.

22 - Went skinny dipping in the Atlantic.

23 - Ran a 5K.

24 - Fell off of a bike.

25 - Masturbated at the office.
.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

1 - Hosted a threesome.


2 - Feigned illness to go to Bulle Rock.

3 - Got ANOTHER tattoo.

4 - Cursed a cabbie in downtown Baltimore.

7 - Went on the worst date in my life.

8 - Had pretty good sex with a really cute girl.

9 - Kissed a blogger.

10 - Naturally cleansed my colon .

12 - Fed a hangover with more alcohol.

16 - Volunteered at the Maryland Food Bank and prepared dinner for and served a group of homeless folk.

17 - Celebrated 4/20 on a pier overlooking the Baltimore skyline with two really fantastic people.

18 - Went to church directly from the club...tipsy and all.

23 - Ran a 5K.

24 - Fell off of a bike.

25 - Masturbated at the office.
.

Anonymous said...

Hope not the seattle thing...lol...cuz I'm here and its NOT the bizness

Anonymous said...

Hope not the seattle thing...lol...cuz I'm here and its NOT the bizness

Andre J. Allen II said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr. Jones said...

Andre - How dare you post a comment here as if you didn't just two days ago slander my name and indirectly that of an associate. After that little stunt you pulled, you are no longer welcome here. Each and every comment you even ponder thinking of leaving here will be immediately deleted. And if I even think you're commenting anonymously, I'll delete those, too.

I really don't think you fully comprehend how poorly you represented yourself in the short time we interacted.

First, you distastefully emailed me (and other bloggers...did you not think we all communicated???) trying to get into my pants. I told you no and moved on, I was fine with that. Then, you purport yourself as a socialite who travels up and down the east coast for events, yet you came here without booking a hotel, bringing a damn bottle of anything to share with others or even money to spend on yourself. Still, I was cool. That reflected poorly on you and your family, not me and mine. But then you cause a scene and start all sorts of foolishness after you found your way back to Virginia. I've had enough.

I (and others) took you in and paid for your entire weekend in Baltimore. I didn't receive a thanks nor did I expect one from you, but I certainly didn't expect you to cause the scene you did.

I could have turned you right back to Virginia or advised you to find an empty bench along the Inner Harbor to sleep on when you arrived in Baltimore, but I didn't. I opened up my home for the weekend to you. Cocoa could have objected to you eating the food and drinking the beverages he helped pay for, but he didn't. Norris could have let you go hungry at Annie's and let you walk back to Alexandria, but he didn't.

Despite being a burden, we allowed you your dignity and showed you nothing but respect as a man and as a human being because we're good people, not the "phony bitches" you make us (namely me) out to be.

You ranted and raved. And for what? Were you mad that I didn't mention you in my post-event write up? Or were you mad that we all eventually realized that you came to Baltimore armed only with a Metro pass and a one-way ticket on the MARC train and that you were using anyone you could to get by? Or perhaps you're mad that it wasn't you getting a slice of "heaven".

I'm done addressing your tacky ass.

The Captain said...

Sounds like someone has a lot of free time.

Bullet Proof Soul said...

Damn Mr. Jones.....I see you did one thing on the list:

26 - Checked a blogger

Aiight, I think you did numbers:

2: I know I would
4: I can see this
5: Did it happen this past weekend?
7: I know you are picky, so...
9: This past weekend maybe? Hmm
10: Easy to do
12: This past weekend perhaps?
13: I can see this
16: Maybe for Easter
18: Many have done this
19: You sure did, horny man - LOL!

Sean Stone said...

The Tea's been spilt. Clean-up in aisle 7...

4 - I remember that story about your friend who spat at a cabbie.

6 - Who knows what one would do in the heat of the night.

7 - We've ALL been there.

9 - I can imagine you welcoming and wishing your blogger fam a safe trip home with a kiss.

10 - I can see this happening too.

14 - Damn, if this is true, please tell me about it.

17 - The perfect setting for a small group of friends.

19 - We've ALL been there too.

21 - I don't know when your b-day is. Mine was on the 14th.

24 - We fall down...

25 - Probably during one of those "late nights" working on a "project"

E said...

I'm thinking you did the following:

1 - Hosted a threesome.
2 - Feigned illness to go to Bulle Rock.
3 - Got ANOTHER tattoo.
4 - Cursed a cabbie in downtown Baltimore.
6 - Masturbated in a public park.
7 - Went on the worst date in my life.
9 - Kissed a blogger.
12 - Fed a hangover with more alcohol.
16 - Volunteered at the Maryland Food Bank and prepared dinner for and served a group of homeless folk.
18 - Went to church directly from the club...tipsy and all.
19 - Had sex with an EX.
21 - Celebrated a birthday.
24 - Fell off of a bike.
25 - Masturbated at the office (hopefully in the bathroom...*LOL*).
.

Mr. Jones said...

Good guesses so far. I'll keep you all in suspense until a few more people have the chance to respond.

ShawnQt said...

Potential True Answers:
2, 4, 7, 8, 9!, 12, 13, 15, 16, 19, 20, 24, & 25

Darius T. Williams said...

LOL - that fool said #26 Checked a Blogger - thas HILARIOUS. Boy, I tell you - no one can read quite like the gays. I'm living for the comments.

Um, let's see - from what I know of you I'd say, 2, 4, 7, 9 (umm hmmm), 10, 12, 14, 19, 21, and maybe 25 - cuz Lawd knows we've all done #25. Oh yea, and # 26 - checked a blogger!

Nia said...

First of all, Mr. Jones...you did that one.

LMAO @ Shawn and Bullet.

These are what I believe to be not true:



2 - Feigned illness to go to Bulle Rock.

3 - Got ANOTHER tattoo.

6 - Masturbated in a public park.

8 - Had pretty good sex with a really cute girl.

11 - Took ecstasy for the first time.

13 - Went to catholic mass and visited a Jewish synagogue on the same day.

14 - Had sex on the roof of an apartment building in midtown.

16 - Volunteered at the Maryland Food Bank and prepared dinner for and served a group of homeless folk.

18 - Went to church directly from the club...tipsy and all.

20 - Randomly hooked up with a club goer in Seattle.

22 - Went skinny dipping in the Atlantic.

23 - Ran a 5K.

Mr. Jones said...

Nia - How you gonna just go against the grain and post the untruths. LOL. You're a mess. I still love you to pieces tho.

Keep guessing, hoes.

Mr. Jones said...

Oh, and Randy, you were exiled and recently allowed to return to the island.

Tread lightly.

Ty said...

Well, you just spilled everything. lol Don't let me get on your bad side.

As far as what I think is false:
4 Although you have told a blogger off.
5 If we weren't kicked out on Saturday then there probably isn't much more you can do in Baltimore to be kicked out.
8, You and a girl, hmm..... It can happen though. Let me find out that you are turning out fish.
11 - You seem too straight lace for that.
14 Only because it just warmed up
16 You are nice enough to do this but don't think you had time with the reunion this month.
22 Same as number 14
23 I will be mucho impressed if you did cause I ain't even trying.
24

The Captain said...

Mr. Jones-

Heed your own caution. I am practicing politeness with efforts in restraining my diabolical mind even though you have been nothing but a fucking arrogant jackass to me!

Do NOT tempt me.

Mr. Jones said...

Randy - I shouldn't have to remind you that this is my blog. I've been asking you not to return here for months. You choose to come here just like I choose NOT to visit yours. You will put up with whatever I dish out.

P.S. - Take your meds. You're acting out of character.

That Dude Right There said...

25 items!!! I'm too drunk to even think about them!!!!

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Ummmmmmmmm Mr Jones, come together ma dude. LMAO. I haft gotz to meets you (bad grammer and spelling intended...lol)!!

~Damnit!

Franki said...

mr. jones.

you're comment section is all kinds of jerry springer. y'all need dr. phil in here. ;)

mp1 v.8.0 said...

I wouldn't be surprised if you did all of the above. lol

Mr. Jones said...

^^easy there cowboy. LOL.

BTW...I finally posted the answers, guys. Sorry it took so long.

Nia said...

Did I win?

YoungBlack&DL said...

You masturbated at the office?

Wow... Mr.Jones I'm shocked and appalled...yet naturally turned on.

I thought you had better decorum, than the rest of us. Bumb the rest of that stuff. I want to hear more about jerk at work!

Was it a slow massage type action,with lotion, or some type of lubrication..... or was it a quick, dry "Let me get this nut, I'm at work" type of action?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Bullet Proof Soul said...

Well my damn. As my great Aunts say, "clutch the pearls and grab the "girls"" especially with the things you would do in a heartbeat.

So you smoked weed and masturbated in your office. You sure you aren't Bill Clinton?

Kissed a blogger, huh? Do tell.

Mr. Jones said...

Nia - You want your prize now or later, boo? LOL.

YB&DL - Yes, I did. As for the details...I won't divulge too many because I do have better decorum that most of you all. The short version of an even shorter story is this: I went into the bathroom, close the door to the stall behind me, grabbed my meat and proceeded to beat it. There was no pomp and circumstance, just a quickie. A stress reliever, if you will.

Bullet Proof - I didn't smoke at the office. That's tacky. Not that jacking off in the stall is much better, but it's a little classier.

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