That loud thud you just heard was my cold, dead body falling to ground. I just can't.

Her fat ass + that raucous ass crowd that is definitely laughing at her, not with her + the faces those white people were making at the beginning + what happens at 0:50 = too much foolywang for me to take tonight.

Me thinks the punishment fits the crime. What say you?

LOL @ this dude's face. I can't say that I feel particularly sorry for ole boy. You get what you get when you cheat on your significant other. If I absolutely must say something positive, then I admire that he did what he needed to do to get back in good. Still funny tho.

Dual-Screen Laptops....What will we think of next?

I'm happy with my current notebook, but I figured this might be useful to some of you. I've been hearing about this for several months but never saw any actual pictures of it until now. This is gScreen's Spacebook laptop.

The notebook features two 15.4-inch displays. The second screen stows away behind the first and slides out when you need it. Now comes the technical jargon. Inside, among other things, buyers will find a Core 2 Duos processor, 4B of RAM, a NVIDIA GeForce 900M GT graphics card (that's a damn good card if you didn't know), and a 7200rpm drive.

You already know all of that will come with a hefty price tag, right? This beast of a machine is expected to cost **gaaaaaaaaaasp** about $3,000. gScreen plans to have this on sale by the holidays, along with a dual-13-inch model.

WTF does Gary Coleman have to do with this mess?

I guess this economy isn't just hitting us common folks hard. Washed up, D-list celebrities from the 80s are apparently feeling the effects, too. I'm going to heed my Momma's advice and not say anything because I can't think of a thing nice to say about this. Yup, I'm just going to just go about my business and file this under "I have less self-respect than I do cash-on-hand and I'll do anything for a buck."

RIP Senator Kennedy

The world, and more importantly the United States of America, lost a true champion of equity and fairness when Sen. Edward Kennedy lost his long-fought battle with cancer late Tuesday night. The Senator served this great nation in the Senate for 47 years and will undoubtedly never be replaced. I will miss his bi-partisian stewardship and willingness to be a voice for people who would otherwise not have one.

I'm reminded today of the words of Tennyson oft used by the Kennedy brothers, and specifically by Teddy in his concession speech at the 1980 Democratic National Convention:

"I am a part of all that I have met....
Tho much is taken, much abides....
That which we are, we are--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
...strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

Rest in peace, Senator Kennedy and that you for all that you have done.

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy
1932 - 2009

Rihanna >>>>> Every other chick in the game right now.

I won't give too much of a preamble because I want ya'll to get into the video starting at 0:29 when Ri-Ri makes her sassy little entrance with the leather thigh boots and the garter.

This post was initially going to be about Hov releasing the video for the second single from his forthcoming Blueprint 3 CD, but Rihanna and her sickening self thwarted those plans. I simply can't handle her. Not for one second. I don't know if it's her I'm so impressed by or the fact that a 21-year-old, who just a few months ago was photographed all beat up and battered, thrust that mess aside, continued her music career and continues shutting hoes down.

With that said, this is the video for Jay-Z's single "Run This Town."

Blackberry Tour 9630 = Snooze Fest

I have a friend who always talks about how much he loves his Blackberry Tour. After recently switching to my beloved Palm Pre, I haven't felt compelled to go into a wireless store to test out any phone, let alone a boring Blackberry. Because he raved about it, I wanted to see a demo of it. The demo I watched is below.

Part 1:

Part 2:

My thoughts:

The Good >> The 3-second start up time is amazing. It takes my Pre like 3 minutes to start up. No lie. Blackberrys always have good battery life. That's one thing I miss about being a BB user. I also like that Blackberry is sticking with the green light/red light visual message indicator. My Pre has no such feature. I kinda miss it, then I kinda don't. Also, I do like that you can expand the memory by just buying a new memory card. My Pre and my iTouch are 8 gigs each and though I'm no where near filling up my Pre yet, I can see how it would be nice to go up to 32 gigs just by buying a new card.

The Bad >> The internet seems to loads painfully slowly and when it finally did load it was still the same bare-bones web browser I hated when I had Blackberrys. The whole experience with the phone is extremely passe. The Blackberry OS is still very functional but just flat-out isn't fun to use.

Overall Opinion >> I'm unimpressed by the phone. It's a decent phone that does everything I would expect a smartphone to do, but it certainly doesn't offer the experience the Palm Pre or iPhone does. It's kinda like the difference between a basic bitch and a keeper. Sure, a basic bitch will make you a turkey sandwich if you ask for one during the game, but a keeper will give you head while you eat it. I'm just sayin'.

Vera vs. Quick: One of the best scenes in motion picture history.

I love the hell outta this damn movie.

Shouts out to this video, but only because it was shot in my city.

I'm not a Mario fan, but I don't mind the guy. Sometimes he makes catchy music, sometimes he doesn't. Either way, I wish him well.

This is the video for his new single "Break Up". It's not an Earth shattering masterpiece but it was filmed here in Baltimore so I decided give it some shine. Plus, it has a little catchy beat to it and doesn't sound awful.

A couple of observations:

• The "fly in" skyline shot used in the intro is stock footage. It's also mad old. That warehouse in the left foreground under the word "future" at 0:06, for example, hasn't been there in years. The Ritz-Carlton occupies that spot now. Not a big deal, but kinda annoying for me as a resident.
  
  
• The bald look isn't working for Mario. He makes him remind me of the Coneheads.
  
  
• The apartment they filmed this video in is sick. CORRECTION: That 5,000-square-foot, three-bedroom, two-story, all-glass panoramic apartment they filmed this video in is sick. It's one of the penthouse units at this building in South Baltimore called Silo Point. That's a $4.5 million dollar apartment. Get into it.
  
  
• Gucci Mane makes me want to vomit. His face seriously makes me queasy.
  
  
• Mario is a decent talent who for whatever reason can't seem to make it to the next level.

I got stoned last night and decided where I'm getting married.

This is the Baltimore Basilica, America's first Catholic church and primary seat of the Baltimore Archdiocese. I'm neither Catholic nor religious but I can certainly appreciate the beauty and historical significance of the building. In it's nearly 200-year history, this building has hosted Popes, Bishops, Saints, the Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta and other high ranking holy dignitaries and shit. Soon enough it will host the hottest wedding this city has ever seen.

Now, I just gotta get the Catholic Church to, ahem, see things my way. :-/ Tough sell much? LOL.

And since we're talking pipe dreams...

The reception will take place just 5 blocks away in the library at the Peabody Conservatory of Johns Hopkins University. I haven't thought about what will be served at dinner but I did decide there will be plenty of Moët Rosé to go around!!! **does the Sarah Palin**

The space is mad dramatic, right?

Kanye and Amber Rose's Tits In Miami

Remember when I said that Amber Rose was a gutterbutt trollop before meeting Kanye? Well, I misspoke. I should have said that Amber Rose IS a gutterbutt trollop who takes good pics in labels she likely wouldn't be able to afford without Kanye's bankroll. After seeing these pics of the pair in Miami Beach, I was immediately reminded that it really in impossible to turn a whore into a respectable woman worthy of writing home about.

Kanye likely thrusts her classlessness aside for her cute face, perky breasts, sexy but collagen-injected lips, and supple ass and that's fine. But he shouldn't be surprised if he's making Heartless Part II, the lesbian reprieve.

Speaking of Kanye, he deserves some blame in this, too. First, he tolerates this g-string and titties out in public shit and I wouldn't. If I were rich and famous (and a few other things) there's no chance I'd want my lady to walk around Miami Beach looking like a loose booty bandit. Second, Kanye and Amber are parading around common ass Miami Beach. Miami is a place whereyou and I play, you know...us common folk. Meanwhile, Jay and Bey are summering in Croatia. Step your vacay game up. This isn't a good look, Yeezy.

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Click here for more images.

You can't make f*ckery like this up, folks. You just can't.

'Mrs. Jesus' arrested at car dealership, charged with fraud

By Matt Coleman
Story updated at 4:42 AM on Thursday, Aug. 13, 2009

JACKSONVILLE, FL – A woman came into the Coggin Pontiac dealership on Blanding Blvd. looking to buy a car. But how she tried to pay for the car is what caught the salesman’s attention.

The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office says Emma Harrison, 25, wrote the dealership a check for $67,768 for the purchase of a car, with the names Jesus Christ and Emma Christ on the account. The check was handed over to the financial manager for verification.

But when the funds didn’t check out, he called police.

Reports show that Harrison would sign the checks as Emma Christ, or even sometimes sign both Jesus Christ and Emma Christ.

Emma told police Harrison was her maiden name, and she was married to Jesus Christ, and Jesus was coming in next week to sign the paperwork for the car.

She also said the dealership called the wrong company to verify the funds. Police looked into Harrison’s accounts, and found that she had no money in any of her accounts, so she could not purchase the car.

When asked about work, Harrison told police she does not work, but she has a traveling website that people deposit money into.

She had three active credit cards in the name of Emma Christ.

Harrison was arrested on three fraud-related counts.

A Little Piece of Me Died @ 0:19. :-(

I may not be a Dad just yet but have a niece who is about the same age as these children. If I EVER catch wind of her p-popping on a handstand or doing any of the mess these little girls were doing in this video, then I'll personally sow her va jay jay shut before she has a chance to use it. I say that in jest but there is NOTHING funny about this video.

I'm 99% sure Usain Bolt isn't human.

Nobody off the island of Jamaica knew who this kid was pre-Beijing 2008, now he's a living legend. Usain Bolt today further cemented his legendary status by demolishing his competitors at the 12th annual IAAF Leichtathletik Weltmeisterschaften in Berlin and breaking the world record in the process. Bolt finished the event in 9.58 seconds just ahead of American Tyson Gay, who claimed the silver with a new national record of 9.71 seconds and fellow countryman Asafa Powell, who placed third.

Bolt is a beast! I feel like he's one of those special kinds of athletes us mortals should feel fortunate to live to experience. Here's the video of dude's performance.

This is a couple months old but you need this in your life if you claim to like hip-hop.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD NOW



THANK ME LATER.

Ya'll remember this sh*t?

Picture it: 6th grade, 1996. I was 12. Bill Clinton was President. The United States wasn't in a recession. Michael Jordan was leading the Bulls to a NBA-record 70 win season. The Olympics was held in Atlanta. Pac got shot. The JonBenét Ramsey saga was just beginning. OJ's civil trial is underway. And this song was hot in the streets.

New Pac Div Video - 'Mayor'

If you have yet to get into Pac Div, then you're letting the terrorists win. These LA dudes are quintessentially west coast and I know that typically means we should temper our expectations but these boys are dope as hell.

Church League Champions, the trio's latest mixtape, can be downloaded here. It's much more than worth it. I can't believe they're giving stuff this good away for free. This is the video for 'Mayor'. The track is dope. Hell, the whole mixtape is dope as hell.

Pac Div - Mayor

A Whole Heap Of F*ckery

These are some pics I've seen around the web. While ya'll get into these, I'ma go Michael Jackson my skin because I can't be culturally connected to this kind of n*ggerdom.

Walk into a room and u can smell the Clive Christian scent...

My boss told me today that her 30th wedding anniversary is approaching. Because she knows I'm into nice things, she asked me to suggest a "top shelf" cologne for her husband. Without so much as blinking I responded: Clive Christian No. 1 for Men. She Googled my recommendation and said, "I didn't even know that shelf existed." I responded, "Hey, you wanted top shelf. That's as premium as cologne comes."

Clive Christian | No 1 for Men Perfume Spray

No. 1 for Men Perfume Spray. Oriental Ambery. "The world's most expensive perfume", created without reference to cost using the finest, rarest, most precious ingredients. Presented in a gold-crowned bottle symbolizing quality and excellence as awarded by Queen Victoria. 1.6 oz.

Saks Fifth Avenue price: $865.00

I guess somebody had to pay for her walking to get that damn cheesecake, huh?

Diddy Protege Busted in Spousal Slice 'n Dice
Posted Aug 11th 2009 2:00AM by TMZ Staff

The former singer from Diddy's MTV reality show "Making the Band 2" has once again made the cut -- but cops say this time Sara Stokes was using a knife ... to stab her own husband.

We know what you're thinking, "someone must've beat the crap out of this woman" -- but according to cops, it was the exact opposite.

This bloody mug shot was taken after Stokes was arrested for domestic violence August 2 at their home in Moreno Valley, CA.

According to law enforcement sources, Sara stormed out of the house after arguing with husband Tony -- she tripped, fell down and accused him of doing it.

We're told Sara -- who hurt her head in the fall -- grabbed a knife and stabbed Tony in the arm -- while their 3 kids watched.

Paramedics and cops came and Stokes was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence. The D.A. is deciding whether to charge her.

Sara's lawyer, Eric Kayira, tells us, "Sara and Tony have a very passionate and loving relationship that on August 2, while having an evening of fun, she slipped and fell, hitting her head heavily on the ground and somehow in the process of helping her Tony got injured."

Somehow....

From: TMZ.com

Hillary Clinton: "I have the biggest d*ck in my marriage, not Bill."

Well, that isn't a direct quote but...

I want one of each please.

Burberry Multi-Stripe Watch

The Burberry Multi-Stripe Watch retails at $500 and features a stainless steel case and striped webbing details on the leather strap. This striking timepiece also offers dual time and date functionality, water resistance down to 100 meters, and a check-engraved black face with white numbers and hands.

Me likey.

Since we're discussing un-recession friendly pipe dreams...

Burberry Single-Breasted Raincoat

Though the camel color is quintessential Burberry, I'd much rather have this in dark grey melang. It's hot to death, too. I mean, just look at this jacket. Admire the clean lines, the tailored fit, the subtle classic pattern around the colar. With well-designed pieces like this it's no wonder Burberry has been in business for so long.

I swear to you I damn near have a happy ending every time I walk past this coat in the storefront at my local Burberry store. It retails for $1095 so if anyone out there is feeling generous, then feel free to hook a brotha up.

Jay-Z brings Oprah to the hood.

Billionaire Oprah Winfrey and Jay-Z were seen yesterday walking around the Bed Stuy in Brooklyn. The rapper and Marcy Projects-native took Oprah on a tour of his neighborhood including his grandmother’s house, and more. Music executive, Kevin Liles (yellow shirt in pic #2) was present. It was rumored that Beyonce, Rihanna and Diddy were also spotted.

Only Shawn Carter can get Oprah out of her posh Chicagoland penthouse and parade her around Tompkins, Mrytle, Fulton, and Nostrand Avenues without incident.

New Video: Maxwell - "Bad Habits"

Maxwell holds the key to actress Kerry Washington’s heart in the video for “Bad Habits,” the second single from his BLACKsummers’night album. After a month on the charts, Maxwell's BLACKsummers'night is now officially gold with over 547,000 copies sold.

If this dude isn't the man, then I don't know who is.

Lisa Turtle looks a ghastly fool. I don't even think Screech would tap this now.

Remember Lisa Turtle, the Black chick from Saved By The Bell? Well looks like she's trying out for a new gig now: Memoirs of a Geisha 2. Either that or she's been seeing Lil Kim's make up artist. Either way, she looks a plum fool.

I know there were rumors swirling about her being a recovering coke addict (isn't it always coke?) but these pics are a FAAAAAAR cry from the recently shot People Magazine SBTB reunion cover. I really do hope she's well, but these pics tell a different tale -- a tale from the crypt, that is.

Photos courtesy of the site on the watermark.

Foolywang + N*ggerdom = This Sh*t

I'm not so sure if he's just drunk off his ass or nuttier than a fruitcake or both, but this dude becomes my motherf*ckin' hero at 3:45 when he gets brolic. I always wanted to spaz on a cop like that during a traffic stop but never had the balls -- or enough cocktails -- to actually do it.

"I'm God, bitch. Why you asking stupid ass questions?"

I ain't know prophets got down like this.

What kind of f*ckery is this? 50 Cent fails epically at a "Touch Me, Tease Me" remake.

Why can't people let the mid-90's rest in peace? Was it a great era? Sure. But that doesn't mean 50 Center should embarrass himself the way he does in this awful remake of Case's only really major single from The Nutty Professor OST. Get into how cheap the whole project looks, the god awful lyrics and the unneeded hoes, et al.

I was sure that was the tackiest remake ever, then I got into Juelz Santana's version. I sure hope Dip Set aint pay for this bull-ish.


Call me a Debbie Downer if you're like but I didn't think it was worthy of being remade once, let alone twice.

This is a gathering of the masses that come to pay respects to the Wu Tang Clan.

Dopeness circa 1997.