Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I've got a confession...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Remember these pics I posted a few days ago that I claimed to have not liked because of the bags under my eyes? Well...that was a crock of bullshit. I didn't like them because I looked like a god damn corn-fed wild hog in them.

As Royce was taking the pics, I knew I didn't like them, but I couldn't figure out why. We tried everything from taking the pics in different lighting to using different locations in the room to trying different angles. Still…I hated them. At my request, Royce must have taken about 30-40 pictures (bless his heart) and I disliked each of them.

When he emailed the pics a few days later I just stared at them for a bit. The writing was all over the wall. I mean, I knew I had put on 12 pounds (feels more like 20), but Jesus Christ...I look like I've been eating a 3rd world nation's food supply. No wonder kids in Africa are dying.

I immediately knew I had to do something. I’m going to Miami in just under thirty days and I’m looking to break this sex-less streak that, in spite of Sunday’s encounter, still remains well and in tack since I didn’t, you know, cum. Plus, Royce takes pictures like he’s Nigel Barker himself, so I’ve just gotta look my best for the camera.

I know what you're thinking. You're wondering, "What is this tub of lard doing about it?"

Well…I started going to the gym again. But, I figured that was gonna be enough. I mean, I’ve got 30 days to make something happen and trust me when I say I’m certainly going to make something happen. I'm not going to Miami like this.

I biked to work today and will continue to do so until late-February, through the rest of the winter and into the spring. It’s only 5 miles each way and it’s an incredible work out. I was really concerned about the weather especially since the low temperatures have been in single-digits this week.

The weather wasn’t an issue at all. I put on my ColdGear by Under Armour, some Under Armour sweatpants, a big hoodie, my big Northface jacket, a hat and gloves, a thick layer of Vaseline on my face and called it a fucking day. It was chilly at first, but once I got going and warmed up, I was good to go.

I’m not looking forward to biking home, but I’m actually somewhat anticipating the bike to work tomorrow morning.

I’m also reducing my caloric intake down to 2000 calories per day again. And I’m drinking mad green tea and water. I'll be stopping at the gym to lift 2 or 3 times a week and will do some push ups, arm curls, and get on that Ab Lounge that's been collecting dust at home on the off-days.

There’s no doubt in my mind that I can lose 20 pounds (or damn close to it) by February 21st.

Wish me luck, bitches.
.

18 comments:

Darius T. Williams said...

biking to work - lol...a mess. Ain't no way I'd do that. You'd end up all sweaty by the time you made it to work. Nah, that wouldn't work. Ain't nothing wrong w/you - I actually saw the pics. I'm dating someone - but you could get it if you were a few miles closer. Don't worry - the thickness is working for you.

Mr. Jones said...

Wait....not for a east coast jump off though. lol.

Seriously though, I appreciate the positive feedback. I've never been "skinny" nor do I want to be. I just want to lose that holiday weight and this damn spare tire from around my mid-section.

And my gym is in my office park. I shower and walk three minutes to my building.

I'm no smelly trifling hoe.

La said...

Can you take my hips and ass with you when you go? I'd greatly appreciate it, because there's no way in hell I'm ever gonna bike the 30 some odd miles to work every a.m. I guess I could at least stop eating candy corn at my desk though. I'm going to Miami too **popping another one in my mouth*

hahaha

j_shanlin (Jared) said...

awwwww I love the thick mr jones! u looked good in those pictures

M-Dubb said...

I'm on the floor about you greasin ya face up! LOL

I feel you on the weight tho. I came back from Chicago/Philly/Delaware looking like hot shit on a biscuit.

So far this month, I'm down 23 pounds tho.

You can do it!

Cocoa Rican said...

Pa...you're a beautiful man...and our blogger family - you included - look very different. Royce looks nothing like you and that's not a good or bad thing. We all have goals and as the grandpa of the group you can imagine I have weight issues along with the horrifying, "Time marches on and it has been marching up and down my face." All said, I think we're harder on ourselves than we should be. We are in much better shape and much more together than our str8 counterparts. Don't give up. My goal is to drop 13 lbs by summer and I'm getting comments from folks who say I look better thicker...it's not about them...and I know it's not about us...but do you and know we think you look great now and a rooting for you to look the way YOU want to look. Here's to 20 in 30...it's all about you!

Darius T. Williams said...

Don't we all love Grandpa Cocoa Rican? I mean, seriously.

Chet said...

I have but one word for you: Dedication. If you seriously want to shed a few pounds (you look good now) you have got to be a dedicated person to the work out and yes that may mean biking it at least once a week (Casual Fridays) I did it about two years ago and my job is fifteen miles from my house. Brotha Man was one tired and wet fool by the time I got to work and home (showers were available at work and you will certainly need it). The weight came off the toning will be the hard part...sqats and push ups. Do the damn thang!

kennyking78 said...

No, not the Vaseline!!! Now that is COLD!

Man, all I have to say is do you. You look just fine to me, but I understand having to be comfortable in your own skin.

I can't wait to read about you reaching your goal.

Let's see if you can get any cuter!

Kensilo said...

Let me know how the bike to work thing turns out esp. in this weather. I like the pixx of you and Royce. Since you are reducing your intake what foods will be be consuming to keep your calories down below 2000?
Ansd as always good luck to you man. May you reach your desired results.

Mr. Jones said...

la - I love you dearly, but I ain't taking extras.

Jared - Thanks, boo.

M-Dubb - Hey!!! Long time no comment. Congrats on the 23. I'll update my progress.

Cocoa - Thanks, man. You're fantastic, btw. And I don;t just say that to anyone.

Darius - How could we not?

Chet - You know...if no one else appreciates your wisdom and what you bring to our blogs, I do. Thank you.

Kenny - Awww....thanks, boo. You're too sweet. I'll be sure to update.

Kensilo - So far, so good with the weather. I have ColdGear by Under Armour. That stuff works wonders. I'm usually the one asking if anyone else is cold at the office, but it's all good with that stuff on.

My regimen is simple:

Morning:
- Big bowl of oatmeal (sometimes I add some bran for fiber if I'm in that mood)

- A cup of fruit (likely mandarin oranges)

Mid-morning snack:

- A big cup of Cheerios

Lunch:

- Tuna sandwhich on wheat (just canned tuna and a little fat free salad dressing...maybe some mustard all on toasted wheat bread).

- A big bowl of vegetables (whatever I feel like at the moment...maybe some corn or peas or mixed vegetables)

Mid-afternoon snack:
- More fruit

Dinner (just after the gym/bike ride)

- something sensible. Whatever I want, really.

The key to this is consistency and order. I know I don't have the metabolism to just eat whatever I want and let that be that. I have to train my body to take foods at certain times so I can speed up my metabolism.

If I do all of this, I'll be fine.

Thanks for the well wishes, bitches!

La said...

It was worth a try. I'm on my way to the gym this evening since you being selfish and shit. LMFAO!

The Captain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RocaFella07 said...

I HATE it when you get down on yourself! Im all for self-improvement, but, I better not hear you talking about nearly starving and working out toooo much!! Just be SAFE!!...You dont really need to lose much anyway.

You are really something else!...Riding your bike to & from work, in the damn WINTER!! And 10 miles!?!? Uh uh!...If you cant wait til spring, just hop on one those bikes or eliptacals at the gym.

;-)

Kyon Saucier said...

I believe you can loose the weight if you want to Warren. you just have to be dedicated and make sure you are eating. it does no good to exercise and then starve yourslef. Your body will just hold onto the excess weight. And you didn't look like a tube of lard by the way but I do understand the desire of you wanting to shed those holiday pounds. Bonne chance. Good luck ti papan.

Mr. Jones said...

Just to be clear, guys, I wasn't asking you all to cry me a river or throw me a pity party. If anything about this post came across as sad and/or pathetic, something got lost in translation.

I appreciate the kind words and all, but, really, it's all good.

I saw something about myself I wanted to change and decided to change it.

Oh and just to keep you bitches in the know. I'm down 8 pounds since January 13th.

What what! lol.

Seriously tho. Thanks for the kind words and support.

That Dude Right There said...

LOL @ Grandpa Cocoa!

As long as yo ass isn't trying to disappear, you have my full support. Now, how do you ride a bike again?

yet another black guy said...

i gotta say i'm so proud of you doing something about it instead of just complaining. you looked fine before, but even better in Miami. except for that distressed shirt. j/k!

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