Don't call me with Myspace bullshit.

I’ve got to make this short. I’m working feverishly in this cube of mine and really have no time to spare. My company’s annual gala is coming up as is our annual board of directors and trustees meeting in Baltimore. I really shouldn’t even be stopping to discuss this nonsense, but this had to be blogged about…immediately.

So I’m sitting in my cube when I get a call from this kid named, well, fuck it, he doesn’t know about this blog, Avery. I went to high school with him and I suppose I’d consider us friends…kinda. I guess what I mean to say is, if I were in a bind or needed a friend’s shoulder to lean on, he wouldn’t be anywhere close to the top of the list.

We were somewhat close freshman and sophomore years of high school, but, for a number of mitigating reasons, grew apart the last two. I didn’t see or talk to him at all through college, but randomly ran into him while I was on a run last summer. We exchanged numbers and sort of kept in contact. I go to his house occasionally and despite the tattoos on his hands and neck and overall (contrived) thuggish persona, he’s actually good for an interesting conversation.

Anyway, he called me with this foolishness:

Hello

Yo, some bitch left a comment on my MySpace saying we fucked?

What are you talking about?

Some bitch, yo. She left a comment on my MySpace. Saying we fucked.

(pause)

Ok…

Yo, go to my MySpace and tell me if you see what she said.

Two things, Avery: I don’t have MySpace and I’m at the office right now. I’m really busy.

Yo, but some bitch left a comment on my MySpace saying we fucked.

I understand that, Avery. You’ve made that quite clear.

Why would some bitch say that?

Avery, listen…I’m really busy right now. Can I call you later about this?

But some bitch, yo….

You realize that we’ve never had sex, right? Like, what she’s saying happened never did.

I’m saying tho…

But, why do you care? Some chick from years ago said something that isn’t close to being true. What’s the big deal? Delete the comment and move on.

I just checked to see if it was there and it wasn’t.

(extended pause)

Then how do you know it was there?

My ex-girlfriend called me and told me. Didn’t you tell me the other day she was bitter and you two were estranged? Listen…I’ve already given this foolishness too much of my time. You don’t even know if what she said was there was ever actually there. Call her and talk to her about it. I’ve gotta go.

Ok, yo. I’ll call you later.

Please…don’t.
.