Much like YABG, my radar doesn't sound unless someone does something really blatant like...shove a tongue down my throat. So, I need your help. I've been dealing with situation for some time now. Let me know if you think I'm reading into things too much and how you think I should proceed.
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So, two and a half weeks ago I received a call from my boy Riley Newell (He's black...I can't explain the Irish name either) inviting me to a cocktail party at the Hippodrome Theater hosted by Baltimore Style, a regional magazine which dubs itself "a premier lifestyle publication, providing information for smart living in Baltimore." Apparently, the company he works for bought a sponsorship and he scooped the last pair of tickets.I guess I should explain who Riley is.
He's originally from New York - born in Mt. Vernon, raised in New Rochelle, college in Rochester, worked in Yonkers. He's young - 25. He's well-educated - did his undergrad work at RIT and his graduate work in architecture at Carnegie Mellon. He's accomplished - works as a project manager for SBER, a multi-state, Baltimore-based development firm. He's attractive and athletic - when I saw him the first thing I thought was "Omg, he looks like Adriano Ribeiro" (if you don't follow European soccer, Google Images him). And he's single and as straight as straight can be (as far as I know).
We met randomly this past January at my company's annual gala. He approached me asking about one of our silent auction packages. Then, we started talking about what the Foundation does, who we help, what he does, etc., etc. Then, we did the business card exchange thing. You never think you'll actually hear back from people you do the business card exchange thing with, but he actually hit me up asking me inviting me out to drinks with him and his friends.
We've been pretty cool since then, not tight, but cool.
Anyway, we talked about my situation once and didn't flinch. We've never really talked about it since then, but he occasionally asks if I'm seeing anyone, but he leaves it at that.
I feel like ever since then, I feel like he's been dropping little ambigious hints. Nothing major, just some things that make me go, hmmm.
For instance, in the middle of conversations he'll say, "You don't wanna see me, son. I'll punish you." Now, he doesn't just belt this out. These are always said in context, but I just feel like it has double meaning. I know that's a bad example, but whatever.
Anyway, last night takes the cake in hint-dropping.
He suggested that I drive to his spot (about 40 minutes away from the venue) before heading to the event. His car ('06 BMW 535xi) trumps mine, so I decided to do it.
After the event he - despite my telling him that I was fine and didn't have that much to drink - suggested that I crash at his place to avoid making the long trek the dark. (My thoughts/internal commentary are in red)
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Riley: You might as well just stay here with me, man. It's dark, you're drunk as hell and home is a long way away. (Hmm...the highway is lighted, I'm not really that drunk and home is only a half hour away, but I'll play this game)
Me: I'm not drunk. Stop saying that already. You're the done one. You've been taking shots.
Riley: Don't hate on me cuz I can take back shots. (flag #1 - get into the word choice)
Me: (staggered) Whatever man.
Riley: But for real, you staying here. No blood on my hands.
Me: Dude, I'm tired. I wanna my bed. I'm going home.
Riley: My bed feels better than yours. (flag #2 - was this an invitation into his bed?)
Me: (deciding to pursue this) I bet it does. But yours is a little crowded for me.
Riley: You ain't getting in it with me, so why you care how crowded it is for? (well, apparently that was not a invitation into his bed. Secondly, no matter how smart some New Yorkers are, they always seem to end interrogative statements with 'for'?)
Me: (dagger!) True. I'm going home though, dude. I'll hit you up in the morning.
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Feedback: Did I do the right thing by falling back or did miss the boat? Is he just playing coy for shits and giggles? Please let me know. Oh, and if I missed the boat, how can secure a seat for the next voyage?
Track of the Week: Hell Rell - You Know What It Is
13 comments:
well, speaking as a cop, I think you should have stayed you ass over because nobody ever thinks they are too drunk to drive, that's why we have so many drunk drivers out there (just a comment not a judgement). Second, sure, what would it have hurt to spend the night. It might have lead to something, it might not have. What are you? Scurred? Don't be scurred Mr. Jones. Live for the moment. Boy's bed may have been way comfortable. LOL (P.S. Again, Don't drink and drive, damn it! I care about your life and everyone elses)
I say wait for the "tongue down the throat". Of course, if you never take the boy up on an invitation to spend the night, then your ass will might not ever get the chance to feel that tongue...down the throat or anywhere else for that matter. What?
p.s. You know a hella lotta stuff about oh boy...I ain't mad at ya.
U waiting for him 2 show up ass out at your door asking for a cup of coffee lol. i say go for it. if a gay or straight boy half as hot as that soccer player invited me anywhere near his house i would go.
Wow interesting post. Yo dude drunk or not I would have stayed the night. He might of let u share his bed and if he would of took his clothes off n front of you. I woulda took that as an invitation lol. You shoulda played him at his own game. I woulda played like I was so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. Dam hopefully there's a next time.
I think you should have stayed over, just to see what was up. It's possible the guy is 'curious' and wanted to 'experiment' with you. Next time accept the invite.
It's a double edge sword:
For one, my "gaydar" has never been on point,
But it sounds to me that he may be a "little" curious and he wanted to see if you would show him a few things.
Then on the other hand, if you've already talked about yourself to him, then there's no reason to be "DL" with you, so he could just be a straight guy that's secure with himself.
Was there a conversation the next day following this? That could explain some things. But since you were drunk, you shoulda said, I'll sleep on the couch, and that conversation could of opened up a few more remarks to let u know.
One Man's - I know. I know. But, I really wasn't drunk at all. Not even buzzed. I had two glasses of Merlot at least 2 hours prior to us departing for his house. As for being scurred...you mustn't know me well at all. lol.
Forge - See...know you got me thinking about dude's tongue. Oh, and I know a lot b/c I listen when people talk. It really surprises me how few people actually listen during conversation.
Anonymous - Adriano is hot, right? There's a reason I watch the Coppa Italia, well Euro soccer in general really. And it aint just the footwork.
Promiscuous - See, I've had dudes do that (taking clothes off in front of me) before and I've been wrong about them. Well, it happened once with this dude who I kinda lost contact with but he just found me on Facebook, so...hmmm.
Reggie - I probably will. Probably would have if it were for the comment he shot back at me.
Mr. James - We haven't talked since then, which isn't odd in the least bit. Thanks for the email, btw.
Getting too personal with people gets you in trouble. Going home was the best decision.
Funny how gay men always searching, praying, hoping someone is gay or trying to get other men in bed...
Captain - Can't say I disagree with you on that.
You dayum dummy...if you know THAT much about the guy, some thoughts have passed through your mind (in red, of course). What would one night hurt? You were a half hour away from home so you could have left early enough to get home and change for work. You really had no excuses. If I were you I would have taken him up on the offer. Besides, what's there to really lose? You're not attached. And furthermore, you're cool...not tight, right? Tightness is a different story - no exploration. But just cool - call me Christopher Columbus or Hernan Cortes - cuz it'll be time to board the Nina, Pinta, and the Santa Maria and do some major exploring of The New World. Only next time, you'll be the one bringing the spices - lol!
-DTW
i'm just as flummoxed as you. on one hand, he knows how you get down and might just be cool. on the other hand he definitely said some stuff that makes one wonder.
maybe you should hang with him a couple more times to see how the chemistry goes?
Don't fall for that shit. Straight men do that shit because they like to be admired. The worse thing that you can do (as a gay man) to a straight man is to tell him that you don't want him.
If he wants to fuck around, let him tell you.
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