Wednesday, July 30, 2008

What's your take on this?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My guy works for my state’s Democratic Party and has been slaving away to help prepare the Maryland delegation for the DNCC in Denver. This work will only get more intense in the coming days and weeks leading up to President Obeezy’s coronation. We’ve done a fairly decent of continuing to spend time together, but it’s been a struggle.

The situation as a whole is still alright, but is noticeably different from the way it was just a few weeks ago. Our communication has broken down and is damn near 100% text-based of late. We chat by telephone for a few minutes (less than 5) once or twice a day. I can deal with this, but recently it’s been a struggle to even get a timely response to an email. We’ve gone from seeing each other four or five times per week to maybe once or twice. The sex hasn’t been whack but is noticeably not as good as it was at first.

Here’s the gotcha, gotcha: there’s been someone else in the mix other than my significant other who has been occupying my mind and a chunk of my time. We talk via text and phone all the damn time. Hell, we had drinks and dinner the other night. So far, we HAVE NOT had sex, kissed or done anything remotely intimate, but still…I’m doing this with someone other than the person I’m supposed to be dating.

I feel some kind of way about this, but I can’t figure it out. I've tried (admittedly not very hard) to have conversations about my concerns, but essentially for him work comes first. I can dig that, but damn...can I have you, too? On one hand, we haven’t had the exclusivity talk, but I think getting there…maybe. On the other hand, is there anything wrong with having a void filled by someone else?

What constitutes cheating on your significant other in your mind? To me, cheating is anything that would break the trust your guy or gal have in you and your relationship. I personally don’t think cheating is necessarily exclusive to physically having sex with someone else other than your partner either.

Let me know what you think.


WhozHe said...

I agree with you. I think you can be emotionally unfaithful and do as much damage to a relationship as actually having sex with someone else.

I think the two of you are going through a rough patch (as they say), give it time. Life after the convention will be the true test.

jerzey_reality said...

I agree wit whozhe..u can be emotionally unfaithful and do damage cuz its bound to show up down the road..but I guess it depend on the individual.

Communication is one of the most important factors to any relationship...isn't that y people say that communication is key? As long as ur trying to voice ur concerns and attempt to work on the situation then ur doing wut u can to help the situation. I wish u well and hope the best cuz I know this is a confusing situation.

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, I am sooo freaking in love w/this layout.

Now, to your scenario. Give it time. If you're into your dude as you say you are, then this shouldn't be an issue. Relationships are no walk in the park, so tell the guy how you feel. Be 100% committed to making it work, if that's what you decide. I know this literally makes no sense, but no having your cake and trying to eat it (although whipped cream cakes are great - lol - that's for another post).

I say give it a bit of time and if you guys are committed to each other, then you'll be over this in no time and you'll be back to the way things once were.

I'm such a sucker for love!

Anonymous said...

Darius always manages to have food into the convo. LOL.

Mr. Jones, thank you for stopping by my spot!

I'm going thru the same shyt. Deployment (to the desert) fucked up a lot of things. Communication broke down, and when we do have it, it's FIGHT. Then enter other people that's giving you attention and you're feeling him.... a mess. Still tryin to sort this shit out.

Stay strong and keep the line of communication open (I know that's soooo much easier said than done!).

That Dude Right There said...

Negro, you know what cheating is. It's doing something with another person that you wouldn't want to tell your partnet about.

But since this guy isn't your partner, it ain't cheating is it?

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

My thing is ya'll not exclusive so I mean eh, do you. Now if you are serious about maybe becoming exclusive with ol boy, then I would say that no sex should occur na mean. Also, there's nothing wrong with dinner. Everybody's got to eat. I would just say go to a resturant and not eat in each others house this way you ensure that plates will be utilized.


BPS 2.0 said...

Um I'm confused. I understood that love wasn't involved in this affair if you will. So why care about anyone's feelings?

I didn't think love or a relationship was what you were going for so is it really cheating to spend time with someone else?

If you are indeed in love then you will need to keep the pants up and know that your man's job for Obama isn't forever. Soon the two of you will be back together as before. Just kick it with friends and keep your time occupied. JMO.

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