Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Random Updates

Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Miami Wrap-up

Miami was a blast and a real treat. When I left home that Thursday it was 14-degrees in Baltimore and there was snow on the ground. As you can imagine I was immediately enamored by the weather, that perfect ocean breeze and those fascinating palm trees.

Although I’d go back to visit in a heartbeat, I have my reservations about living there. The weather and people are gorgeous -- for the most part. It does rain (and apparently hurricane) without much warning and some of the guys I saw (outside of South Beach) looked like something out of the next Harry Potter book, but, ya know, what are you gonna do?

I have to commend Royce on being a fantastic travel companion. We really had a lot of fun together. I’ve said a number of times on this blog that I’m fairly cantankerous and can be a little difficult to deal with at times, but I have to admit that he handled me like the seasoned vet he is and I thank him for that. Never once did I think that the trip was too long, or that I needed space/personal time or that I was just flat-out ready to go home. We had one small spat over ideological differences but given my track record in situations like these, I’d take that in a heartbeat.

Overall, it was really good to get away, but I didn’t really want to come back.


Up In The Club

Under the cloak of night and behind a very sharp pair of dark shades, I made a rare appearance at a Baltimore nightclub last week. As I attempted to avoid the faggotry, I ran into a very dear friend of mine who can’t seem to avoid the punk and circumcision.

We don’t see each other very much of late, which is unfortunate because I always enjoy watching him do, well, whatever it is he calls what he does. I particularly enjoyed him the other night because he was in what people who don’t know him as well as I do might call rare form.

I took note of his antics…literally. I told him that he would be blogged about and read like a novel. Not only did he not mind, he relished the opportunity to be discussed. Some people do anything just to make the front page.

If he were a C-lister or better, there's a chance he could read about himself in TMZ. Because he isn't, he gets covered by JMMDATG. I’m still trying to decide if that says more about him or this blog.

Anyway, because I consider him a friend, I refuse to provide truly scathing commentary. Besides, I know he lives for that. But I have no problem providing the facts and letting public opinion hang him. Now, my one and only disclaimer is this: he was pretty tossed up. Please don’t take this disclaimer as my making excuses for him. I’m sure the convo would’ve been just this outrageous even if he weren’t drunk.

Me: You seem to know a lot of people here.

Friend: Yeah, well. What can I say?

Me: Like…that white guy. What’s his story?

Friend: Oh, he works for Delta. He bought me a round-trip ticket.

Me: In exchange for….

(Slight pause)

Friend: And that’s AJ right there. He has a big dick. And him right there…he has big dick and has money.

(He pauses to exchange pleasantries and who knows what else with a passerby)

Me: So, wait…how many of these people have you actually fucked?

Friend: Well, AJ, the guy with the big dick, I've fucked him before. The guy who was just here...I'm gonna fuck him tonight.

(Shake It, Jiggle It by Young Leek begins playing…he rushes to the dance floor.)

Friend: Oh shit! Get into this. Watch me. You Tube this shit.

(Several minutes later….So Into You by SWV begins to play)

Friend: Oh, shit! I feel like I'm at a high school ring dance.

(From across the room he sees something he doesn’t like)

Friend: Hold on. Ill be back. I see somebody pushing up on that guy and I can't have that. I don't do competition. I eliminate it at all costs. Blog about that!

(Several minutes later)

Friend: Somebody take me home....I'm done.


Birthday Wishes

Today is That Dude Right There's birthday. Everyone should run over to his blog and wish him well.


Jane R.

Jane R. is the shit! She (and her cleavage) bought my lunch today. For being so fantastic, she deserves this shout out.

Thanks again, Jane.


Random Sex

Although I’ve had my reservations before I’ve definitively decided that at this point in my life indiscriminate sex is just not for me. I’ve tried it twice in the last four days with no luck either time. I couldn’t even get it up during the first encounter.

I didn’t peg myself as the lovey-dovey type, but I guess I need a bit more than a wham-bam. Damn.


life said...

no wham-bams! You friend sounds crazy. We all need one of those out of control friends, because we need to let loose from time to time.

Anonymous said...


kennyking78 said...

I swear you make me laugh out loud every time I check your blog!

You are truly a mess (I mean that in the nicest way possible!)

Darius T. Williams said...

LOL - yea, we all need more than a wham-bam!

j_shanlin said...

yeeeeeessss, glad you had a good time in MIA! The weather back at the home front isn't that bad these days though. Mr. Farenheit turned 68 yesterday! say happy birthday to him! And I'm soo mad at your friend who's not really your friend.

La said...

I'm so jealous. I can't wait for Miami.

"As I attempted to avoid the faggotry, I ran into a very dear friend of mine who can’t seem to avoid the punk and circumcision."

**dead** I have never been more in love with you than I am right now, lol

Random sex is never as good as the alternative. You don't have to be madly in love, but the randomness makes for awful foreplay

Mr. Jones said...

Life - He is crazy. A damn fool. lol.

Captain - What are you talking about Randy?

Kenny - I'm so glad you're entertained. That means a lot. Thanks.

Darius - Yes, we need more and I deserve more.

Jared - Let me be clear, hon. We're very good friends. In fact, we shared a good laugh followed by some political discourse (well, actually, I lectured, he listened) by telephone last night.

He's very dear to me. We have the type of relationship that allows us to call out each other on things like this. He'll reply to this post soon enough, I'm sure. He knows he's a hoe. This isn't breaking news or anything.

La - I thought that line might escape most readers. I should've known you'd pick up on it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

As for random sex...there's foreplay involved?

Mr. Jones said...

He hasn't shown his face yet. He might be too afraid to out himself as the true whore he is. He may be readying himself for the club. It is Thursday after all.

Or perhaps he's exercising some humility...

That Dude Right There said...

"punk and circumcision."


Anonymous said...


RocaFella07 said...

LOVE the new pics!!

Im sooo glad that you had a great vaction in Miami! LOL!!...Your friend is something else.


yet another black guy said...

oh we did have a great time in Miami, did we not?! from you're crazy wit to our delicious meals, it was the best 7 days i've had since Chicago.

and your friend sounds like a trip/train wreck. not sure which one though.

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