Sittin' on my Miami balcony -- eatin' chicken.

First, I should say, I'm not really eating chicken. At 9:52am it's a little early for that. The title of this post means something to two people who read this blog. It's no inside joke or anything like that because in the past I've actually posted the audio clip from which this is excerpted. Right now, however, I know they are going off in their little work cubicals back in Maryland. And with good reason.

Second, I'm not sure how many of updates I'll be posting while I'm here. I'm really bad about forgetting to bring the camera and besides, you bitches should be looking to schedule your own vacations instead of living vicariously through me.

Anyway, I'm in Miami...finally. Well, I should say that we're in Miami. Royce drove down from Orlando, picked me up from that outdated and convoluted mess Miami considers its airport and drove us to the hotel where we're staying. We arrived WELL before the 4pm check-in time (due to my dumb ass scheduling a 6:30am flight from BWI) and had to wait a bit for rooms to become available.

No big deal.

We killed several fucking hours a little time at Aventura Mall, a fairly upscale shopping mall located nearby on Biscayne Boulevard. Royce's fickle ass was searching for denim. Not just any denim though. Don't you dare make the mistake I made by suggesting just any jean cus he'll let you know that's not what he wants! Finally he told me he was searching for a pair of dark denim with no wash and no distressed frays whatsoever. I told him to go look in the early 1990s where character-less jeans belong. But I digress...

We searched in every store I would typically go into for denim: Diesel, J. Crew, Banana Republic, Macy's, Express, Urban Outfitters and Lacoste. We went into Armani Exchange and Lucky and Boss and still....nothing.

He gave up. Little did he know I had given up quite some time before that....like 1991.

After calling the hotel only to find out that the room still wasn't ready, we headed to Target to get some toiletries. On our way to Target, sneaker boy here spotted a Sports Authority. Of course we had to stop in. Nearly 90-minutes and 1 pair of Jordan's later, we were on our way.

After hitting up Target, we heading to the room that was finally available. I'll admit to being pleasantly surprised. Their suites looked nice (albeit slightly dated) in the pictures on the website, but let's be real here...name a hotel that put shitty pictures of their property online.

The room was spacious. I'm unsure of exact square footage, but it's more than enough space to be a single man's apartment. It came equipped with all the normal shit you'd expect in suite: full (and surprisingly spacious) kitchen and dining area, separate living area, a nice sized bedroom with a marginally comfortable king bed and a very comfortable bathroom featuring a stand alone shower, jacuzzi bath and a bidet.

You know I used the bidet, right? How often do you get to do that?

When we got settled, we both agreed to take a nap before hitting up South Beach around 8pm. I had been up since 3am. He left his house at 5:15am. Each of us deserved a brief reprieve. Well, that damn reprieve turned into a full blown slumber. We both woke up around midnight. Our first night in Miami which was supposed to be spectacular began and ended around 2am at an IHOP on Collins Ave.

I woke back up this morning around 6:30, did 5 miles on the treadmill while watching the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean and walked what felt like a mile to the Publix grocery store across from the Trump International for oatmeal, yogurt, white grape juice and some other things.

I do have some pics to share. Nothing major, just the view from the balcony and a picture of block head asleep over here. Im using his laptop to post this. When I figure out how to upload pics onto his computer, I'll come back, edit this post and add them.

Peace.

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