Thursday, December 6, 2007

She spat in his face

Thursday, December 6, 2007

No snappy intros and clever segues needed for this one, folks. It is what it is: she spat in his face.

Let me backtrack a bit.

I’m sitting on my sofa last night nursing my self back to health with a glass of red wine and a doobie (yeah, it’s been that kind of week) when I get a phone call from "Ms. Lyles", one of my dearest friends. She asked if I had a minute to talk. For her, absolutely.

Let me tell you a bit about her.

We met freshman year at Maryland and I’ve loved her dearly ever since. She works for a multi-state law firm based in Baltimore, so you know the credentials are well and in tact. She dresses her ass of and sports the bossiest hair cuts you’ll ever see (think Ellen Barkin as Abigail Sponder in Ocean's 13.)

She’s sweet as pie, yet as sassy as she wants to be when she needs to be. She’s cool as a fan in December, but don’t test her cause she’ll let you have it in a heartbeat. She’s agreeable and easy going but don’t try her because she doesn’t tolerate nonsense. She’s one of my closest friends in the whole wide world. She’s an awesome woman and I tell her that all the time.

With that said, I muted the Lakers-Nuggets game I was watching. She needed to talk and she had my attention.

Her: I did something terrible today that I've never done before and I hope you don't think any less of me after I tell you this.

Me:
Oh shit, what happened?

Her:
It's really, really bad. I'm just gonna say it.

Me:
Ok. (pauses Tivo. I didn't want to miss a second of this. Whatever this turned out to be.)

Her: Well, I spit in someone's face today.

Me:
WHAT?!?!?! YOU DID WHAT?!?!

Here's the scoop. She and a mutual friend stopped at an Inner Harbor bar after work for Happy Hour. After some wine and a couple mixed drinks, they parted ways. She flagged down a taxi and before getting in asked the driver if he accepted cards b/c she wanted to pay with plastic. He said he did, she got in and she was on her way home.

They weren't even five minutes up the street when he made his first mistake:

Driver:
Why can't you just get out and get cash? Why do you have to pay with your card?

Her: Excuse me? I'm paying with my card b/c I'm paying with my card. I don't want to pay with cash. I told you that before I got in and if it's suddenly a problem, I'll get out right now.

Driver: Cash is just easier for me.

Her: Well, It's not easier for me.


I told you she was sassy when she needs to be. I don't blame her for snapping back though. I know how taxis drivers can be. Add that attitude to the fact that buses and other taxis were passing her by and the 20-degree temps and snow last night and that spells disaster...for anyone crossing her. She was tipsy and ready to go home. Besides, she's paying him for a service and he questions her about how she pays? Fuck that. He should take this fare in wooden pennies if that's what she has. Either way, he's getting paid. I digress...

They finally get to her house. When he pulls up, the meter reads $16.02. She gives the man her card and he claims to have to call it in to verify. He keeps the meter running while he's doing this.

Her: Sir, you're going to have to hurry. I'm tired and I have to use the bathroom. I'm ready to go into the house.

Driver: The line is busy. I have to call back and you'll have to wait.

Her: Well, that's not my problem. You need to speed this process up.

This fool finally authorizes her card or whatever, but for an amount greater than $16.02. He charged her for time that he sat there trying to authorize her card.

Her: I'm not paying this extra amount. You need to re-run this for the correct amount.

Driver: No. You use card. You pay for the time it takes to authorize this.

Her: I'm not signing this receipt until you re-run it for the correct amount. I'm not paying for the drive and the time it took you to do whatever it is you had to do. I'm not doing it.

Driver: Well, I'm not giving you your card back until you sign the receipt and if you don't sign, I'll call the police.

Her: Call them, please. I'm not getting out without my card and I'm not paying this extra amount.

After some back and forth, they finally settled on the initial amount. She got out of the car and the driver decided to take this thing to another level. As she walks away, he rolls down his window and starts screaming all sorts of expletives and calling her all sorts of names. The driver is African and I know some Africans already come to the US with a chip on their shoulder and think that they are better than African-Americans. He didn't like being challenged (and bested) by a woman and he thought he could just spew his shit and she would roll over. See, he let the overcoat and Loro Piana cashmere by J. Crew fool him.

They went back and forth for a bit. He continued the name calling. She lost it and lobbed a loogie right in that man's face and walked the fuck away.

After absorbing everything that was said, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Remember I had that wine and a jay before she called. After I composed myself, my initial, honest-to-God reaction was, 'That is the most gangsta shit I've ever heard in real life.'

She was really concerned about what I'd think about her. No worries, dear. I don't blame you at all. Not one bit. I mean, I've never been pushed to that limit before, but wouldn't rule it out. If he said to me some of the things he said to her I might have spat in his mouth and made him sallow it. You just never know what you're capable of when someone pushes your buttons. Besides you were a little tipsy. No worries at all.

We're going to a Maryland Basketball game at Comcast Center tonight at 8. The Washington Redskins play the Chicago Bears at FedEx Field at 8:15, too. Between the Maryland game, the Redskins game and normal rush hour bullshit, I know traffic is gonna be a mess. I was concerned because people like to get crazy on I-95 under duress. I'm straight now, cus I'm riding with a G.
.

9 comments:

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Yea, ol boy pretty much deserved it. And you're right about any nationality of African descent that comes here with a disdain for Black Americans. It's real interesting up here in NYC yo. I mean I guess it's just because they see opportunities that many Black Americans squander. But that's another subject for another blog. Nice post and tell ol girl that she did...well not the right thing but definitely GANGSTA!!! LoL.


~Damnit!

La said...

I generally don't condone that in any way but... LMFAO!!!!! He had it coming. He shoulda known better than to try her once she went back at him about the card. Well, he did know, that's why he waited for her to get outta the car instead of saying it when she was in striking distance. LOL! I love it. It might not have been heavy on the side of moral correctness but dammit if I don't love a chick with some balls, lol.

Cocoa Rican said...

Spitting in someone's face is just the outright worst shit you can do to someone..that said, the cabbie had that shit coming. Sometimes you gotta let folks know you can take it to the next level...I'm a firm believer in never being punked. Good girl.

WhozHe said...

I wasn't ready for that, I mean even though you mentioned it at the beginning, I wasn't ready. What can you say, I guess she handled her business. Anyway, traffic or no traffic, you might want to avoid taking a cab to the game.

That Dude Right There said...

I don't know how I feel about this one.

I just don't think that I could spit in someone's face no matter what they did. I may have reached in the window and choked the shit out of him though.

But what she could have done was hit him in his wallet. She could have recorded the cab number and his name and reported his ass to the correct authorities. If Baltimore is anything like other cities I have been too, cab drivers who purport to accept credit cards, but refuse to do so are fined!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Ewww, we can't be spitting in people's faces just because they make us mad. I'd be spitting on people all day.
I will say that once, when I was in the seventh grade I spat on some older guy who stole my fire crackers. However, it doesn't count because i told him that I was going to spit on him if he didn't return my property. LOL

Darius T. Williams said...

so yea...this is interesting. but I know how them east coast cab drivers are. I was shocked when I found out that cabbies in jersey city didn't take credit cards. this fool took me all the way home...and then turned around and took me back to the train station when he found out I didn't have any cash...a dayum fool I tell u. anyway, great story and good for her...although it took a bit of context clues to determine what a doobie was. we don't call it that in chicago.

Kensilo said...

LOL!!! By her being a female out by herself, I say protect yourself any way that comes to mind. The Cabbie will think next time on how to handle himself properly when picking up another lady in his cab.

yet another black guy said...

lord, please never let me piss this woman off. or have her on my side when i get pissed, cuz we'll both be going to jail lol!

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