Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Taking matters into my own hands...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007



Edit: No luck last night or this morning. I couldn't get up. Not for nothing. I think I know why, but I don't feel like getting into that now. Just know it's not impotence. I'll try again tonight and update tomorrow.

It seems like it's been forever since I last had sex. I honestly can't tell you the date. And don't even think about asking the last time I had good, meaningful sex. It may have been 20 months or so ago...or longer.

With that said, I'm so horny and have been for the past week. I go to sleep hard enough to cut diamonds and wake up the same way. But fuck throwing me a pity party. Don't cry for me. I'll be fine after I polish myself off tonight.

I've been thinking, this can't be a normal everyday ho-hum session. I'm determined to find a way to make this a special, mind-blowing experience. In preparation for tonight's festivities, I did some research and this is what I found.


Note: This post is in no way an endorsement. I haven't tried all of these methods...yet. Experiment at your own risk. Let me know how it works out for you.


Masturbation that Isn't Boring

Men have been masturbating basically since the dawn of time. In fact 99% of men masturbate, the other 1% lie about it. Although men and women both do it, men tend to think about it or plan it out more. Usually it is done in secret, maybe in the bathroom before work, or after the wife goes to bed. If you are lucky enough to live at home then you could masturbate all day long. Male Masturbation is usually about the final outcome, the intense pleasure that you know so well.

If you are getting bored with the basics of masturbation, then you should try some different male masturbation techniques. There are quite a few of them out there to give your hobby a new feel. One male masturbation technique that has been tried and enjoyed by man men is the Two Hands Full technique. It is a motion that is similar to milking a cow, the idea is to keep the motion going continuously by taking one hand and moving up, and follow right behind it with the other hand. It keeps the foreskin and testicles all the way up all the time so you have constant pleasure. You should use lubricant because of the fast motion, and it does take some practice but when it is done correctly you may never go back to the regular way.

Another different male masturbation technique is the pole straddling technique. Place a small pole or a broomstick between your legs and hold it steady while you masturbate. Moving up and down with your hips, you will find that as you are about to ejaculate your anus actually hugs the pole giving you an almost unbearable sensation. Again, this is one that you will have to practice before perfecting. It is worth it though.

Male masturbating techniques come in many forms and with different objects that can be involved. Here are just a few of the others:

  • One Top, One Bottom – Hold the top of your head with one hand, while moving your other hand down towards your testicles.

  • Packing Tape Technique – Wrap tape around your fingers and lubricate it to receive a whole new feeling of excitement.

  • Wringing It Out – Although it may look strange and painful, it is quite pleasurable. Take your penis and wring it out like you would a washcloth. Start slowly and use lubrication to avoid friction.

  • Glass Ball Technique – Move to the end of the bed so your testicles hang off. Place a glass underneath and let your balls fall into a tight fitting glass. Ejaculate like you normally would, pushing the glass with your testicles in it up against your perineum for an ultimate orgasm.

Again, there are many variations of techniques that can be used. Take your time and find something you like. One very important male masturbation tip to follow is to try to use the stop and go method while master bating. Masturbate till you are just about to ejaculate and then stop for a few minutes, and then start again until you are right about to have your orgasm, and then stop again. By the time you reach the 3rd or 4th time your orgasm with be more intense and longer.

Male masturbation can be an exciting new adventure if you try different techniques. Don’t feel you have to stay with the same thing you did when you were 16 years old. Yes, it may feel good, but new techniques will feel unbelievable.

18 comments:

life said...

Wring it out...that doesn't sound very pleasurable. Masturbation has turned into an art...my, my, my

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

oh my word who knew there were so many different techniques

yet another black guy said...

should i tune into CNN to see if you go through the roof?

Thaddeus Lonzie Works said...

Just grab that dick and pull one...or two. I do not use lube it mess up my grip.

D.LavarJames said...

You a mess, lol

Thanks for the tips! =)

Mr. Jones said...

Life - I tried the wringing it out method. Try it...trust me.

Reddmann - Yeah, it's become an art.

YABG - LMAO. I shouldn't have told you that.

Thaddeus - I usually don't use lube, but I wanted last night to be special. Didn't work out either way.

D.Lavar - Long time no talk to on AIM. How's it hanging?

The Captain said...

I hope you cleanse yourself.

D.LavarJames said...

u don't be logged in

Kyon Saucier said...

Man just go out to da club, do the alcohol seduction thing and get your freak on. You aint gotta love them to fuck em. Masturbation's cool but it can et old. Sometimes you just need to feel another body....

Mr. Jones said...

Captain - You've been behaving well for awhile now. Don't start that stupid shit again. It would behoove you to check yourself.

D.Lavar - I'm on now. You aren't.

Kyon - I know what you mean, but Ilive in the Baltimore/Washington area aka AIDS and STD capital of the US. Indiscriminate sex is frowned upon around these parts. I wanna stay disease free.

Kensilo said...

This is too much. LOL Thanks for the tips.

The Captain said...

So, you don't cleanse yourself?

Mr. Jones said...

Cleanse dez nuts in yo mouf.

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Hey Jones, Did you know that you're a member of 'Deez Nutz'? LoL. Check my spot.

~Damnit!

Cocoa Rican said...

I leave for 2 weeks in the Caribbean and my blogger family is rubbing themselves into glory...LOL

I ain't even gonna lie...BD or no BD, I do it daily...can't help myself...

Mr. Jones said...

Blaq - You funny. Thanks for the add.

That Dude Right There said...

Oh My God!!!!!!!!! I had no idea of all of these techniques!!! Now the question is whether or not I want to try them.

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, yea, I had no idea there were these many tricks. Call me plain jane then cuz I'm not about to go through all of this. As long as I get to the finish line...that's all that matters.

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