Wednesday, October 24, 2007

F*cking Rain, F*cking Traffic

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Somebody tell me why rain makes people drive like idiots with hybrids stuck up their asses? I'm all ears. There's no reason a commute that usually takes 20 minutes should ever take a damn hour. Ever.

I don't care if its rain, sleet, hail or snow, there's no good reason these bastards should be driving as slowly (and as stupidly) as they did today. If you don't do well in inclemate weather, then get your ass off the road and catch a damn train, light rail, bus, taxi...something. Let a pro handle it. Pretend you're being chauffeured.

It's morning commutes like this that make me want to strap a bullhorn to the top of my car and scream at these bitches:

"Ma'am, you know you don't usually drive 25 on the JFX. Why today? Because of some fucking rain drops? I've pissed puddles deeper than that. Throw on your traction control and keep it moving. And stay off your fucking brakes."

"Sir, that's a bend on a slight downgrade up ahead, not a sharp turn on the broad side of a god damn mountain. Put that fucking SUV in gear and let's go. It's a damn Hummer for god's sake. If it's good enough for Iraq, then it's good enough for a steady downpour on the highway. Drive that shit!!! DAMN."

And to the punk bitch - who couldn't have been older than 16 or 17 - driving like a damn bat out of hell on the shoulder trying to get to your exit. Don't let me catch you on the drive back this evening. I got something for you.

I'm going to get coffee.

12 comments:

D.LavarJames said...

LMFAO!!

I have never heard so much language in my life!!

Except when it's comin out my mouth! LOL

But it's true man, I learned how to drive in the rain durin a year where we (Kansas) were having floods all summer. I swear, I think bitches out here can't drive at all, rain, snow, sleet, or shine!

But thanks for the laugh!

Cocoa Rican said...

Boi NYers are even worse! These mutha fukas will plow you down, cut you off and run you off the road - and that's just in parking lots! I feel your pain. When we win the lottery, we'll buy HUGE trucks with rammer fenders and fuck some shit up! :)

Kensilo said...

LOL!! Thanks man . You said everything that I was thinking of sayin on my ride into work this morning.
My ride in was an hour and ten min. I usually can do it in 25 min. Dem asses!

Forge said...

I totally agree...."Fuck", "Damn", "Hell". I'm gonna go drink me some soda...

One Man’s Opinion said...

I totally feel you on this on, man. These overly cautious idiots are the reason for wrecks in the first place. Just drive the damn car! I have road rage issues with idiots as well........FUCK FUCK DAMN

Darius T. Williams said...

It's everywhere...that's why I do Metra...can't deal w/it. I sleep on my commute in.

SpecialK261 said...

lol...a lil impatient aren't we...accumliating a little road rage? lol..damn...ok..good thing i don't drive cuz i think i'd have atemper every morning..lol...that bout to change in like a year though when i move off campus...enjoy the rain lol..

mp1 said...

LMAO. Tell us how you REALLY feel! I can feel you on the statements though. I think the same way when winter comes around here. We get 100 inches of snow in the winter and people drive like they've never seen it before. I think they must be getting their licenses from Wal-Mart

WhozHe said...

Take three deep breaths and step away from the bullhorn.

ProfessorB said...

You're right. People drive quite slow in the rain here in Maryland.

That Dude Right There said...

Rain???? Can you send that down here. We were supposed to run out of water in 3 months.

And posts like these make me glad that I don't have a commute!!!!!

BuddahDesmond said...

LOL! I love it. You couldn't have said it any better. Last week was the worst. As much as I know we needed the rain, I'm so happy it's gone.

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