Saturday, June 28, 2008

Now all you whores sit down! I want to talk to you!

Saturday, June 28, 2008 14

.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Damn, this feels good.

Thursday, June 26, 2008 17


This is still going really, REALLY well.

After a couple years of not being emotionally connected to really anyone else, I have to admit that it feels good to have somebody to connect with and to care for and worry about and thoroughly luxuriate in. It also feels good to let this wall down and not be so damn guarded all the damn time.

It's taken sometime for my hard ass to even reveal a semblance of vulnerability, but after nearly 2 months of what I assumed would be a very casual thing, I've proven to myself that I'm indeed human. That too was wonderful.

Damn, this feels good.

**Listens to "Not Like Crazy" by Jill Scott while frolicking through green pastures with my boo**
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This was my shit...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 5
I love this song.

DEAD @ the lesbian undertones in the video though. LOL.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Stupid Bitch Sues Victoria's Secret After "Thong Injury"

Friday, June 20, 2008 11


Woman sues Victoria's Secret claiming thong injury

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A woman who says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip flew off and hit her in the eye has sued Victoria's Secret, saying in a TV interview on Thursday that the injury caused her "excruciating pain."

Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer, told NBC's "Today" show that she suffered cuts to her cornea from the small piece of metal that had been used to secure a rhinestone heart onto the blue thong.

"I was putting on my underwear from Victoria's Secret and the metal popped in my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That's what happened," Patterson told NBC.

Patterson's lawyer Jason Buccat, who also appeared on the "Today" show, said the metal staple causes "severe damage" to her cornea that required a topical steroid.

The product liability lawsuit, which was filed on June 9 in Los Angeles Superior Court and first reported on the Smoking Gun Web site, seeks unspecified damages.

A spokeswoman for Victoria's Secret, which is operated by Limited Brands Inc, could not immediately be reached for comment.

(Reporting by Dan Whitcomb)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

It ain't Friday, but you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.

Thursday, June 19, 2008 10


America's slumping economy hit close to home yesterday.

5% of the employees at my company were "transitioned out" yesterday because of the rising cost of doing business in America. I'm fortunate to have not been one of them but I did work in the same office with two who were.

One was let go because his position was advancing to a point where he couldn't keep up and he became a liability. The other colleague, who I actually consider a friend, was let go because "our Marketing Department looked at ways to streamline our business needs, and have found a way to manage [his job] through outsourcing." There were others.

It's never a positive to lose your job especially in this economy which is resembling the Reagan years more and more each day, but...

**reaches for silver lining**

...he ditched a stressful job that he didn't like anyway and has other, more significant positive life changes on the horizon that may lead him back to his home state of North Carolina.

Anyway, let me get back to working on developing these cost-cutting initiatives so I can give them to my boss for review. I'm trying to get this in before it's due. You gotta shine brightly in this economy.
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Random Thoughts....

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 9
R.I.P Tim Russert



NBC's Tim Russert died Friday at the age of 58 due to apparent heart attack.

If your finger's on the pulse of what's happening in public affairs and political news, you already how big this is. If you didn't fuck with news like that, then you missed out on watching a smart, hard-nosed dude who would let you have it in the nicest of ways.

I'm actually kinda fucked up about this. So much so, that I place flowers at his memorial site in DC on Sunday.

R.I.P, guy.

---------------------------------------------------

Chicago



In exactly two weeks I'm going to be in the Chi for several days. Chicago is one of maybe four or five North American cities I haven't visited that I actually want to see.

I'm excited, son.

---------------------------------------------------



I didn't catch your name, but shout out to the cat who reads my blog I met yesterday at the coffee shop. I said I'd mention you today and because I'm a man of my word, here's your mention.

For the rest of you, this dude approached me at Daily Grind yesterday and the following conversation ensued:

"Do you blog?"

"Excuse me??"

"Do you blog? Online?"

"Yes, I do."

"I don't know you, but I read your blog and I love it."
.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Chrissy Breezy

Sunday, June 15, 2008 14
I was on this message board I frequent when I ran across this video of Chris Brown popping his pussy, dirty whining, and dropping it like it's hot over in Europe.

Catch the hand performance at 2:31. And at 2:07 she just gets lost in her pussy. Get into her drop the pussy at 1:57.


Friday, June 13, 2008

A bit of Friday morning hilarity (NSFW)

Friday, June 13, 2008 3
Happy pay day, everybody!

I love prank calls and these are two if the funniest I've heard in quite some time. I tagged this as not safe for work so that you wouldn't blast it, but aside from some cursing there's really nothing unsafe about it.

Enjoy!

#1 - From the Steve Harvey Morning Show



#2 - Wal-Mart Prank Call


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I don't want to speak too soon, but Mr. Jones could be off the market in a bit...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 17
Be forewarned, this is a totally personal post. Other than knowing what's going on in my life, please do not expect a "take away".

I've been dating this really great guy for almost four weeks and I couldn't be more happy with him and the direction we're going in. I've mentioned him in detail to my dearest confidant and no one else because, to be honest, I've been here before and I have the egg on my face to prove it.

I've met/dated/fucked what I thought were great guys in the past. I've been so high on cloud 9 that nobody could tell me nothing. I've bragged and boasted about guys to my friends only to discard those bastards weeks or even days later. I've learned my lesson and now I expect the absolute worst. Fortunately, so far I've gotten nothing but the best. And for that reason, I'm ready to share my experience with you hoes.

He's 27 and works as a political consultant in Baltimore. That's all of his personal information I'm willing to divulge at the moment.

We met at this political event/dinner thingy I went to in very early May. We exchanged business cards and I really didn't think anything of it until he emailed asking if my non-profit was looking for a lobbyist. After some back and forth, it became clear that he was fishing for convo. I obliged. After about a week of feeling each other out, we were finally willing to express mutual interest. As many of you know, that process between two kings always have the potential to be cumbersome, awkward and downright messy, but he handled it with poise and valor. He impressed me from the beginning and continues to impress me weeks later.

We have amazing conversation. He's really smart. He's probably smarter than me and I find incredibly sexy. He's incredibly funny. He has a dry sense of humor, but it's endearing and isn't condescending at all. We're interested in the same things, but each have our own flair. We're similar enough that we enjoy the same types of politics, sports, news programs, tv shows, music, movies, comedy, etc., but mavrick enough to maintain to surprise the hell out of each other with a viewpoint or opinion. I hope that never wears off.

He's also very creative when deciding on things to do which is something that's been the bane of my fucking existence in previous relationships. Last week, for example, in the midst of what for me was a very busy Saturday, he asked me to meet him at what I thought at the time was a really random intersection in downtown Baltimore. Despite already having a full schedule, I cleared some time in between that damn 5K I ran and the party just outside of DC that resulted in my getting no poosay.

When I arrived I realized that he had signed us up for one of those Segs in the City tours that I always see in Baltimore and Washington. I melted because that's something I'd think to do as a date and I NEVER, EVER find men who are willing to think that far outside of the box when it comes to things to do. I had an amazing time. I haven't been this energized about a guy in quite some time. Like Martha would say...it's a good feeling.

I would tell you about the sex we had for the first time two weeks ago, but I'm gonna cut it short here because I feel like I'm gushing at this point.

Wish me well.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Amy Winehouse: Vicious Racist or Simple Crackhead???

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 5
Plenty of people are up in arms over this video featuring much maligned British singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse that recently surfaced on the internet.

In the video Winehouse and an initially reluctant associate, who was smart to simply go by "Sarah", rather enthusiastically sings:

"Blacks, Pakis, Gooks and Nips, Gooks and Nips!"
"And deaf and dumb and blind and gay!"

I personally dismissed this.

She's on crack for god's sake. I wouldn't hold the common crackhead on the train accountable for crap they say. Why should I hold this bitch accountable for this shit simply because she has a little name recognition, access to YouTube, has a couple of platinum albums and has won a few Grammys/Brit Awards? On top of that, she's being egged on by her husband who is known as an abuser.

Winehouse has since issued a public apology.

I don't feel I'm creating excuses for her nor do I think that I'm enabling this behavior. Some people, however, do. I mentioned these same thoughts on a message board I frequent and was lambasted by other posters who felt I should erase her music from my iPod and boycott any and all of her performances.

Here's the video.

Amy Winehouse: vicious racist or simple crackhead? I'll let you all decide.


Monday, June 9, 2008

What type of fuckery is this???

Monday, June 9, 2008 25


I wish I could call this a hypothetical, but I can't. What's your take on the following situation? There are questions at the end of this post I'd like you answer.

You receive an invitation to a party and an "after party". The person who invites you suggests that you bring an overnight bag. You already know what's poppin' off when you get there.

You accept the invitation and arrive at the party, start drinking and feeling nice. The person who invited you is starting to become a little "touchy feely". The touching evolves into straddling and kissing...in plain view of other party-goers. The straddling and kissing evolves into...well, let's just say you're glad you remembered to pack your magnums.

You drive to the house where the person who invited you to the party in staying. It's 3:30am. You're tired and drunk as fuck, but you're horny as hell and hard enough to cut diamonds (or wet enough to have some public safety concerns due to potential flooding) and you're trying to get it poppin'.

You go to take a leak and a quick "wipe me down". You return to the bedroom...this person is alseep. You're kinda blown but recognize that it's late and that some people can't hold their alcohol well. You follow suit knowing that there's always tomorrow.

After sleeping for 4 hours, your dick (or poosay) wakes you up at 8am. Your internal alarm clock must know you have unfinished business to attend to. You inch closer to you host. You pull back the sheets and slowly pull off this person's form fitting undies to reveal a nice supple, pretty, yellow ass that you had been admiring all night long at the party.

Your little buddy instantly knows the deal.

You inch closer and closer to your host. You grab this person by the waist and pull them closer to you. Your hard dick is pressed up against that pretty ass you just unveiled. That pretty ass pushes back. You pull yourself out of your boxers to get some flesh-to-flesh action. That pretty ass pushes back again.

Your little buddy inches closer and closer to that coveted pleasure tunnel. You think you're about to start your victory lap, then out of fucking no where your host pulls the plug.

"Noooo.

Stoooop.

I'm tired.

It's too early.

I'm not fresh."

Excuse the pun, but you've gotta be fucking shitting me.

You invited me to stay the night with you. You kiss and straddle and grind on me for half the night. You deny me last night. You throw your phat ass back on me this morning while I'm holding you for 20 minutes or so. You're all into it, then suddenly when I'm ready to stick it in...it's too early and you aren't fresh???

You pretty much take this one as a loss, roll back over and go to sleep for a bit before waking up a couple of hours later showering and heading out without really saying much other than 'peace'. You don't call to follow up or to let this person know that you got home safely like they asked you to. You didn't comply not to be spiteful, but because you just got caught up doing other stuff.

Although it's only been 24 hours, you decide not to call or email to follow-up. You plan to not even mention what happened two nights ago and just play it cool when you finally do speak with this person again. Essentially, you learn your lesson and move on.

Was I wrong for expecting this person to put out? How would you have reacted in this situation? Was my response appropriate or not? Do you agree with my planned course of action?

Discuss, bitches.
.

Friday, June 6, 2008

You ready, B? Let's go get 'em.

Friday, June 6, 2008 8




Bonus Coverage:

LOL @ the random dude at 0:36

DAMN @ Obama smacking Michelle's ass @ 0:47.


A few dirty funnies...

Look at Jane riding that cock.


Mom channeling Einstein...giving good brain.


Grandma's salty over her saggy tits.


A mess.


Ha!


This hoe...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Good Morning!!!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008 15
Question: Is there a better way to start the day than early morning sex?

Answer: No.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!



-----------------------------------------

EDIT: This day just keeps getting better.

After lunch I went into the mail room to check my mail and received a package from J. Crew. I'm thinking...what the fuck could J. Crew be sending me? I open it and see a card that read: Thanks for helping our kids realize their dreams. A client I worked with a couple of weeks ago thought so highly of his experience and my work that he sent me a $75 gift card to J. Crew.

How sweet was that?

Not to be outdone in the class and tact department, I feverishly scramble to located a mailing address for him as we conducted all our business by email. Anyway, after checking with a colleague I found an address to which I forwarded a hand-written thank you note.

An email would have been tacky and there's no chance in hell I can get as enthused as I need to be over the telephone. With my personality?? Bitch, please.


The note reads:
Jason,
Thanks so much for your great gesture. I really appreciate it. It was my pleasure to assist you. You guys were a joy to work with. Please give me a call if there is anything I can do to help you moving forward.

Sincerely,
Mr. Jones
That's nice enough, right?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Random Wednesday Musings

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 6
President O-bezy??



It may have taken 232 years, but Barack Obama yesterday became the first non-white Presidential candidate ever nominated by any major political party in the history of the United States. [cynicism]Our country is officially racially progressive.[/sarcasm]

Sillary still refuses to believe it's over though.

P.S. I have a special treat for the first person who finds me a link to the video from the very beginning of Obama's speech last night. I'm looking for the footage of Michelle giving Barack a fist pound. I think she may have passed him a 40-ounce, too, dawg.

Fucking Traffic



I had no idea why it was happening at the time, but I was among the hundreds of drivers being routed off of I-83 and onto city streets this morning. After honking at, physically threatening, yelling at and cursing out the old lady driving the Cadillac in front of me, I made my way to Falls Road and onto the office.

When I go here I opened baltimoresun.com and read there was a terrible multi-car accident on the JFX this morning. That damn bend near Penn Station gets 'em every time. Non-driving bitches.

Yikes! @ these Hot Messes

'Chicken Head Red' Fannie and Young Dro



Meagan Good...high as hell.



Amerie...gone horribly awry



Random and Potentially Useless Information

There was one (1) slave counted in the 1830 federal census in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

How much would it suck to be the lone slave in an entire state?

I Hate When Boys ____________.



Finish that statement. I'll start.

I hate it when boys....act retarded.

Your turn.

Three Truths and a Lie

In the last week I...
  • Played baseball with and got a semi-private mini-hitting clinic from a former MLB world champion, baseball Hall of Fame member and silver slugger award winner.

  • Met and fucked a Spanish "guardiamarina" during the Spanish navy's recent layover in Baltimore, then looked on from Tide Point while enjoying a doobie with a close friend as the Juan Sebastian de Elcano sailed away from Baltimore's Inner Harbor and into the Chesapeake Bay and onto the Atlantic.

  • Saw two Baltimore Ravens players naked.

  • Misplaced two pair of designer sun glasses.
Sniff out the lie.

An Arm and a Leg...and a Left Testicle



Gas prices have gotten so ridiculous in the city that I refuse to buy gas in Baltimore. I wait until I have to go the northern suburbs and exurbs before I fill up.

When I say I have to be damn near in Delaware or Pennsylvania before I fuel up, please believe me.

I Really Want To Buy....

A brownstone like these in Baltimore's Mt. Vernon Cultural District. There's something quintessentially east coast about brownstones and I love them.



SATC - The Movie

SATC was really great. I'd recommend it to anyone who remotely enjoys the television show. And...I saw it with one of my favorite people in the world.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Fuck 48...you really only need, like...6

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 14


Robert Green's 48 Laws of Power have helped shaped the way I live my adult life. This is my list of the most impactful rules from that book. I tried to narrow this down to a top-5, but there are two rules on this list I couldn't bring myself to get rid of.

-------------------------------------------
  • Law 2 - Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
    Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
  • Law 4 - Always Say Less than Necessary
    When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

  • Law 5 - So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
    Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

  • Law 15 - Crush your Enemy Totally
    All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

  • Law 36 - Disdain things you cannot have. Ignoring them is the best revenge.
    By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

  • Law 47 - Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop
    The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.
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